On Amazon: The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011

It’s meant to take 5-7 days for everything to get updated on Amazon, but the book is available for sale there finally. There’s no content up currently other than the ability to look at the cover and buy the book yet, so here’s my sales push.

Here’s the contents pages cut and pasted… (There’s some annoying spacing variances on the blog after I cut and paste, the book has a different font.)

Personal Gratitude                                       
Introduction                                                                 1
Part One – What She Really Wants
1.     The Body Agenda                                            9
2.     Alpha and Beta Balance                                31
3.     The Alpha Male Traits                                   42
4.     The Beta Male Traits                                     50
5.     Sex Rank                                                         63
Part Two – The Male Action Plan (MAP)
6.     The Basics of The MAP                                  77
7.     Get Control of Your Health                           95
8.     “Instigate, Isolate, Escalate”                        109
9.     Captain and First Officer                             121
10.  Be a Nice Guy with a Hard Edge                 136
11.  Behavior Modification                                 148
12.  Don’t be a Chump                                        157
13.  Sexual Judo                                                   162
14.  Variety is the Spice of Wife                         171
15.  Ovulation Game                                            185
16.  Timeline for Using The MAP                       194
 Part Three – The Sexy Moves
17.  Kissing                                                            207
18.  Just Bust a Move                                           212
19.  Man About the House                                  220
20.  Playful Sex                                                     227
21.  Words of Seduction                                     239
22.  Sexting                                                           250
23.  Date Night                                                     259
24.  Rough Stuff                                                   265
Part Four – When Push Comes To Shove
25.  Oneitis                                                            275
26.  Common Mistakes                                        281
27.  Dealing With Her If She Cheats                  293
28.  How to Choose a Wife                                 300
29.  Marriage 2.0                                                 311
30.  Ten Things to do Right Now                       327
31.  Spread the Word                                         328

About the Author

As you can see – it’s a fairly sizable book, 344 printed pages. One of my most serious goals was that whatever I put out was going to be just a ton of content in a fairly priced package. This is not an 80 page $49.99 eBook that has ten actual pages of information. You aren’t going to feel punked for buying it.
This is a systematic primer that breaks everything down into simple readable chunks. The blog jumps around a great deal, this just lays it all out in order like a Navy SEAL cleaning a gun. Each section could stand alone and even some of the chapters are shorter and clearer versions of many other good books that I can think of.  I could have added more content, but at some point I just have to stop and hit the “publish” button.
Which leads me to my explanation of the book title and my secret plans…
My feeling is that sex, love, relationships and marriage are not going to go away anytime soon. So there will always be a need for a primer for men who are married, or thinking about getting married. My intention is to revise and expand The Primer every year, in a quest for ever increasing quality and relevance. So you might buy the book now, but in seven years time, I want you to be able to buy the 2018 edition for your little brother or son. In 2040, maybe his son gets a copy. In terms of my personal direct involvement, I plan on bowing out in thirty years when I’m seventy. Maybe my daughters and sons-in-law will carry it on.
I can never let myself finish reading and learning on a topic I’m interested in, so doing it this way is something I have to do to even allow myself to stop and actually print an edition. Next time there’s maybe a fancier cover or whatever, but I’m very proud of what I’ve done here. It’s just so coherent. (I’ve had some fabulous editing help as well.)  I’ve been exceptionally pleased with Createspace as the publisher too, the book is printed amazingly well.
This weekend I have to sort out the ePUB / Kindle / Nook thing, so stay tuned for that if that’s your preference. I’m just excited to see the book available to buy so soon on Amazon. If you have a blog or whatever and want review copies, let me know and I’ll get them to you.
So after this, there’s more blogging, more versions, a couple other ideas for books, hopefully some travel and speaking gigs and a long future of doing my part to try and make the world right again.
This is the part where you are supposed to be buying the book. 


  1. Looks really good Athol.

  2. Glad to see it's done. Can't wait till it goes digital. Your New Zealand readers need a piece!

    Just a though, post any content that didn't make the book on to the blog.

  3. gamingmywife says:

    Just ordered my copy. Looking forward to reading it!

  4. You are the man.

  5. Athol Kay says:

    Peter – that's half the reason I have to do a ditigal version. Books in New Zealand are fiendishly expensive and there's no good price to ship them there as. Won't be too long.

    Content creation is kind of a melee. :-)

  6. Ray Sawhill says:

    Congrats, looking forward to it.

    For the ebook version … Have you heard of Joshua Tallent? He does a great job of taking manuscripts and turning them into first-class ebooks.


  7. Antigone Amplified says:

    Congratulations, Athol- a momentous occasion!! :-)

  8. Athol Kay says:

    Next time around possibly Ray. The book is fairly straightforward in terms of formating, so "looks easy enough" to DIY right now.

    2012 edition will likely have a lot more going on needing fancy ebook formating though.

    Live for about 10 hours and at #14075 on Amazon for sales!

  9. Susan Walsh says:

    Congrats, Athol! What a monumental achievement!

  10. Athol:

    An eBook needs a hyperlinked table of contents plus, ideally hyperlinks on all your internal references.

    Also, formatting can be tricky. The conversion software can do funky things like centering paragraph text. It can really be annoying.

  11. Ray Sawhill says:

    This is supposed to be the best, or at least easiest to follow, of the DIY Kindle formatting books:


  12. gamingmywife says:

    It's showing as #6,232 in "Books" now and #75 in "Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Marriage." Not bad for one day. :)

  13. Anonymous says:

    Anxiously looking forward to the version for Kindle!!!

  14. Dave in the cave says:

    Congrats, Athol. I'm curious, did you write the "product description" part yourself? It's good.

  15. Athol Kay says:

    Dave in the cave – I wrote that myself. I dislike the way it removed my line returns though. Going to have to clip a few words off to get them in under the character limit though.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Hi Athol,
    Just wondering can you make the option of paying and downloading a pdf available?

  17. The Private Man says:

    And now it's time for the Manosphere to pitch in to help with sales.

    [New post on my blog!]

  18. Athol Kay says:

    I hope the Manosphere does pitch in The Private Man. We all have a crediablity gap until there's a decent volume of published books.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Prepare to get burned at the stake by the feminist propagandists.


  20. Athol Kay says:

    Hollenhund – I've had near zero issue with them up until now. The MRA types will no doubt have a go because I support marriage.

  21. Anonymous says:

    You've had zero issue with them largely because they haven't noticed you. Once the book is out, people will call you to their attention. And given that your advice contradicts their ideology, well, we all know how they will react.


  22. Athol Kay says:

    I'm quite aware the book isn't going to please everyone.

    I'll just have to thank them for spreading the word about the book. :-)

  23. From the Amazon description, it's "mother lode". Two words. It's a mining term.

  24. Confidunce says:

    Congratulations on getting this done. I just bought my copy.

  25. Athol Kay says:

    Thanks Confidunce!

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