Feminist Princess Gets On Board and Pushes The Primer!

Obviously it’s trolling, but I actually think it’s the most brilliant advertising for the book ever. Anyone that reads that on Amazon is going to think the book is so dangerously powerful it should be made illegal.
I mean I would love to be able to say that sort of thing myself, but I’d be called on the carpet for that immediately. I have to settle for something bland but truthful like, “It’s a lot of really good information that I cherry picked, and it’s a lot more organized than the blog.”
Which is just McWeaksauce compared to, “This book will immediately reduce wives to mindless obedient sex toys with no hope of escape. It needs to be banned before more women become multi-orgasmic.”
So wow. Just wow. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
So anyway…
April is, as we all know, “Girl Game” month. I’ll return to our regularly scheduled behavioral programming to reduce husbands to mindless obedient sex toys with no hope of escape.

Girl Game: Post-Coital Cuddling

After having sex, you snuggling into him and laying your head on his shoulder will frame him as strong, comforting and powerful. It’s like you’re telling him you feel he’s got the Alpha Male thing down.
Making him feel more Alpha, is going to make him act more Alpha. You might like that.
There’s often a little bit of a chicken and the egg thing happening here for Jennifer and myself. It’s usually after the rougher Alpha poundings that she snuggles into me like this. Usually I tease her just a little for it too.
Me: “Well somebody liked that didn’t she.”
Buy Me!

Girl Game: Touch Is Love

This one is simple, simple, simple.
Most men are never routinely touched by anyone other than during handshakes, doctor visits or getting punched – playfully or otherwise. Even hugs from your mom tend to vanish at some point midway through childhood.
The other way men get physically touched is through sex. Half the reason men automatically think that getting touched by a woman is a direct line to the bedroom, is that all too often that’s the only time they get physically touched. A decent part of the reason men want sex is simply to get physically touched. 
When a girl flirting with you does that playful slapping thing on your arm or shoulder, it’s powerful, almost electric sensation for most men. Instant attention getter; for a lonely guy it’s pure Kryptonite.
So touch him. Do the arm slap thing. Rub his back a little. Cuddle. Kiss. Do whatever incidental touch you can. I spend a lot of sitting in front of the computer writing. Jennifer running her fingers over my back as she passes me going from the living room to the kitchen is utterly enjoyable for me.
I. Could. Be. Massaged. All. Day. Every. Day. Forever. (Caveat: Happy Endings required though.)
Breaking it down a little further. Being sexy and alluring to him is going to be your Alpha ticket that creates your attraction goodies. But physical non-sexual touch is going to be comfort building to him, so it’s a Beta skill for you.
A husband lacking a supply of comfort building touch outside the bedroom, will probably try and get it met by having sex with his wife. You know this is happening when you want him just to pound the crap out of you like a wild man… and he wants to have some sort of slow cuddly-wuddly sex. Again.
Half the reason husbands trapped in sexless marriages feel so emotionally hurt by it… and have these enraged feelings of abandonment like they are little boys who have moms that don’t want them… is that they simply lack any single person in their life that has any regular physical contact with them. They haven’t had any comfort-building done to them. When you do that sort of thing to a newborn, the resultant syndrome is called “failure to thrive” and the baby has a pretty good chance of just dying. It’s not really much different at age 42, or 34, or 56.
Everyone needs positive touch in their life.
But to most men, touch is love.
This is why when men suddenly become a widower, their odds for suicide just skyrocket. He’ll put his wife into the ground and throw dirt on her casket, and half the people at the funeral won’t reach out and touch him and the other half will only shake his hand. A tiny handful will hold him, but after the funeral, he’s on his own in an empty bed and a silent house for a long, long time.
Without her touch, all the love in his world is gone.
If you can, lavish a bit more of the physical touch on him outside the bedroom. Kisses. Hugs. The hand on the shoulder. Massage him. Cuddle. If you can get his routine comfort needs for touch met outside the bedroom – when you guys go into the bedroom, all the need that’s left of his to meet…
…is his studfucking need.

How To Get Your Wife To Read The Book

I’ve had this question four times in the last three days….
“How do I get my wife to read the book?”
Dude? Did you read the book?!?!  A major premise is that women are curious sluts that don’t always like people knowing they are curious sluts, so they do stuff in private.
Just leave the book out in the open and then walk away from it. Say you’ll be gone a couple of hours.
Book mark the chapter you most want her to read.
You could do some sort of hidden camera routine to see if she reads it, or some sort of old school thing where you drape a single hair over the book and see if the hair is gone when you come back. But it’s probably a good enough sign if you get an unusually high sexual interest that night…
…for no particular reason.

Girl Game: When You’re Smarter Than He Is

Reader question… and a huge messy answer… I’ve been neglecting the ladies with the Girl Posts for a day or two.
“Speaking for myself and a few of my friends it seems that men who marry wives who are much geekier than them eventually feel frustrated by their wives bookish ways. When one spouse is a life-long reader who likes to gain as much knowledge as they can on every topic and the other is more of a “doer” type who learns through life experiences eventually a hierarchy is formed. This can be beneficial when the “smart” one is the man, but when it is the woman the hierarchy can be problematic.
Is there a specific way a woman can contribute her researched knowledge without being intimidating or taking on the role of the Captain?”
They have to work on their communication skills and verbally express understanding of their roles and abilities.
The smartest person does not have to be the leader. The leader provides decision making. The smartest person provides insight. The smart person can provide the leader with insight and the leader can agree with the input and decide for it (or not).
The majority of leading does not require mega-smarts, but critical choices do require smart thinking. So the leader can lead without consulting over much a fair bit, but should actively poll the smart one for advice for the critical choices. A lot of time critical choices are between two good things, rather than a good thing and a really bad idea. A presentation of her thoughts on available options – in an even tone of voice – and open discussion about them is extremely helpful. Then let him make the final decision and abide by it without verbalizing second guessing on it endlessly. (The difference between asking to review a decision and ranting that he’s an idiot is a helpful distinction here.)
So the framing for the smart-wife leader-husband set up is both of them have to be able to verbalize and agree that yes indeed she is the smarter one of the couple, but he is the leader of the couple. So when critical choices come up, he can comfortably ask for input, she can give it freely, and he can agree with her suggestion, without reversing roles where she becomes the leader. Most wives don’t actually want to make the final decision on the really big stuff, but they do want to be able to give input into the decision.
Think of the Kirk-Spock Captain and First Officer partnership. If there was ever a more Doer-Leader coupled with a Thinker-Support pairing, I don’t know what else there is. Doer and Thinker are skills, Leader and Support are roles. These aren’t perfectly male or female skills or roles either. Some marriages work perfectly with a female Captain and a male First Officer – there’s not a moral imperative in my mind to have a male head of household – I’m just saying that for the majority of couples, this is what ultimately works best.
And seriously… do not say “I told you so” after you told him so and something went wrong. It’s important to support the team and take a united front together. Just fix the problem together. Not everything is going to go perfectly in your married life and sometimes their will be unintended bad decisions and accidents. Sometimes your team will win, sometimes your team will lose, but you win and you lose as a team.
It’s not wifely smarts that pisses the husband off, it’s the going turncoat on him and the contempt.
Even being the smartest as the husband doesn’t get you an automatic right to lead without her input. In our marriage, I am the smartest one. Jennifer is a bright girl to be sure, but I get the Jimmy Neutron brain blasts thing happening. But Jennifer is far better grounded and more stable than I am. So even though I’m smarter than she is, I very much want her input on the big decisions. I make better decisions for her being around. I’m the lightning and she’s the earth. We’re a team.
Sometimes I’ve made just truly awful decisions and she has gotten extremely stressed out in the aftermath, but never reached for the contempt and mutiny options when she could very well have. That’s golden. Loyalty is a key Beta personality trait for both sexes.
Going back to the Star Trek theme of Captain and First Officer… a couple of lines to use.
Captain: “Options Number One?”
Translation: “I want your input here and I am actively listening to you.”
Captain: “Captain’s Prerogative Number One.”
Translation: “Okay I heard all that and I’ve come to a decision and we’ll be doing this. For the moment at least the discussion is closed.”
Captain: “You have the Bridge Number One.”
Translation: “Your choice / you’re in charge of X / whatever you do here is fine … and I will back you up.”
Captain: “Make it so.”
Translation: “That was a damn good idea! Let’s do that.”
Most importantly… there is an element of the Captain and First Officer approach being a way of us playing together as a couple. It’s 99% of the time a playful sort of shorthand with communicating with each other. The other 1% of the time is a critical decision discussion.