This past Friday, after feeling particularly resentful over my wife’s lack of sex drive or intimacy, something happened that finally caused me to snap. A full on argument ensued, and a lot of fury from both sides got unleashed. The parting shot from my ship was me unwittingly telling her that I was ‘this close to quitting’. That ended the, uh, ‘conversation’ rather abruptly. She stormed to the bedroom as I was left to ponder just what I really meant by that.
Our seventeen year marriage is a good one in most aspects. We get along, we’re both independent enough, and up until about six years ago the sex was great. And like a majority of the stories you surely see, it just kind of faded out to a trickle. It didn’t take long before the anger and resentment kicked in, which of course led to the aforementioned argument. Trouble was, I really wasn’t eager to back up my last statement and quit my wife just yet. Still feeling just a bit angry, and perhaps thinking a bit unconventionally because of it, I turned to Google and found the ‘Man up and Nice Guy thread’ on Talk About Marriage.
A lot of stuff there made sense and then I found the link to your blog. Between these to sites, it was like a secret vault of lost man knowledge had been discovered! I spent the next several hours reading, absorbing, and kicking myself for not knowing this stuff earlier.
Feeling empowered (and having the attitude that goes with it), I went back into the bedroom to find my wife still awake watching the television. I grabbed a washcloth, tossed it on the bed, turned off the TV, stripped down, and jumped into bed. She watched all of it intently. As she opened her mouth to speak, I put a single finger across her lips, gave her ‘that look’ and then proceeded to make out with her like we were on our honeymoon again. I won’t say that she became putty in my hands, but she was pliant enough that it wasn’t long before she was naked and I was getting some with her arms wrapped around me moaning in my ear for the first time in six weeks.
The next morning, I ordered your book.
Fast forward to Wednesday night. Carrying that new found knowledge, and following your rule of ‘in her or on her’, and still yet to read your book, I’ve had action from my wife four out of the past six nights. This is in contrast to an encounter every two or three weeks at best.
I’ve got to say, if I can get such a turn around in only six days after six years of frustration by only tweaking my attitude just a tiny bit, I can only imagine what’s going to happen once I get a chance to read the book and really understand what I need to do.