Handjobs During Her Period

Athol,
Here’s a question I was wondering about – maybe you can shed some light with your opinion:
When my wife has her period she does not like to have sex (in fact, she really prefers to be left alone intimacy wise during this time). This is due to both religious reasons as well as just plain not feeling clean.
Anyway, she does offer up handjobs as a replacement.
In effect, I’ll lie there while she takes care of me. Quick, mostly clean, painless for both of us. However, I have struggled for a while with this “compromise”. On the one hand, she is offering to take care of my needs even while she does not want her own stuff taken care off.
On the other hand, it strikes me as beta or worse – like settling for bad sex. Kind’ve like a high school kid getting a quick HJ on the down low before mom and dad get home. Or even her acting like a mother taking care of a child rather then 2 adults sexually getting it on. And we all know that your wife does not want to be your mom. (No, my mom was not giving me HJ’s but i think you get the point here – she sees my “suffering” and offers to relieve it).
Should I man-up here and show her I can handle 7 days or so (she bleeds for about 7 days) without sex. That I don’t need her to take care of me in that way? That there is more in my life then just sex and that I’ll just work out a bit more during that week.
Or is this a sweet compromise on her part and I should roll with it during those times – even if it is less than optimal chandelier swinging sex…?
Thoughts?
Hi there,
She’s being a wonderful wife and half my readers would be jealous of you.
It’s not super amazing sex, but it is consistent and good for you. By “manning-up” and showing her you can handle seven days without her sexually, you’re actually resisting her reaching out to you. I think you’re better off with the force-of-nature approach where you do need her help. If you repeatedly prove you can go a week without sexual interaction with her, you can probably go a month. Or a year… see what direction you don’t want to force things in?
What I suspect you are feeling is slightly understimulated by the handjobs though. Try having her kissing you as you come to orgasm. Have her tie your hands to the headboard and make it a little more teasing. Have her lie on her back with you hands and knees over her and cum on her breasts. Ask her to find your prostate. Toss in a vibrating cock ring with the handjob. Experiment with different lotions to use.
Kiss her afterwards. Long and deep.
In anycase… most men don’t get squat during her period. It’s a fairly bulletproof defense on her part if she doesn’t want anything sexual with you. So I think she’s being sweet to you.
Anyway, I don’t think you’re being Beta for having handjobs during her period, I think that set up is more Alpha. After all it’s all about your sexual needs and not about hers. What is more Beta though is getting all in your head and worrying about whether it’s Beta.
Don’t wait for her to offer it though. Ask for it and be more engagingly playful around the whole thing.
Athol

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    From a woman's point of view:

    She's showing you that she realizes you have needs and she wants to take care of them. Also, giving you a HJ may not physically stimulate her but mentally and emotionally it will. Personally, I look at it as foreplay happening several days in advance. In a woman's mind foreplay doesn't happen an hour before intercourse, it happens days before. A hot HJ will stay in her mind.
    We've all heard this one: Fuck a woman's mind before you fuck her body.
    So, you as the Alpha male are "allowing" her to please you. Nothing Beta about it when you think of it in those terms.

    Katherine

  2. Hughman says:

    I was about to say, this is better than what most men get. Can always push for BJs and anal if you want.

    Even in my deepest betahood before I found Game, and I wasn't getting any regular sex, I knew if I had a girlfriend, I would still expect her to blow me off during her periods. Probably explains why I accepted Game so easily, it just made sense to me.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Dear Athol: My boss keeps giving me unscheduled raises even though I'm not sure what I've done to earn them, and he never tells me I'm doing a good job. Should I man up and prove to him I can live without his money? Or just roll with it and pick up that new 370Z I've had my eyes on lately?

  4. Anonymous says:

    @ 1:44 – Good one!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Changing the subject… You should write something about this:

    http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/24732-hiv-positive.html

  6. Athol Kay says:

    Anon 9:38 – he's a troll. There's no reason to draw HIV labs for a diabetes work up. Also he spells "Moscow" as "Moscco" twice… which would be epic fail for someone supposedly Russian.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Copy pasting this and sending it to the hubby. In fact I offer blowjobs it seems like he does feels bad about it like this guy, for no reason I love giving blowjobs, swallowing it prevents eclampsia I'm doing for our future kids honey I swear :p
    S.R.

  8. Anonymous says:

    I actually think it's awesome when a guy prefers to wait. It's very arousing. Call me strange. ; )

  9. Ethan Blue says:

    Anonymous:

    "I actually think it's awesome when a guy prefers to wait. It's very arousing. Call me strange." ; )

    I will…because it is.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Mmmmm as a woman that does this for my husband that I love more than anything in the world we have had "issues" over exactly this ie "servicing him when I am "out of order"" … resulting in a few trips to the gynie to remove "deeply inserted tampons" that I could not remove.

    There is more to this than can be conveyed, some good some really bad.

  11. Anonymous says:

    .. resulting in a few trips to the gynie to remove "deeply inserted tampons" that I could not remove.

    I laughed for like 10 minutes! I'm SO SORRY! LOL

  12. Kotoula01 says:

    I always offer BJ during that time of the month. I'm 45 and he's 53. He looks forward to that 'week' despite any pms moods that come just before… I find that I do get aroused giving that to him during that time of the month, and when it's done I go wash (down there) up with the massage showerhead, and usually cum very quickly myself. Then we cuddle up and sleep like babies. To clarify, giving him BJ turns me on any time of the month, but just sayin that it still does even when I have my period. Pleasing someone you love never gets old… Great blog btw.

  13. Anonymous says:

    My bf and I used to hate having sex on period, it was just too nasty. but after I read this interesting website http://sexonperiod.com I learned how to spice it up during these days. Men are so simple, just give them great sex and you will keep them forever, LOL :)

  14. My wife does this for me several times during that week…it happened this morning. And she knows that I like it slow and teasing so she will often take 30 minutes or more. I love it. I also love that she she loves me enough to meet my need this way. i am not sure she always "enjoys" it but she does it anyway.

  15. I must be a freak. The day my period starts, I am hornier than a Spanish goat!! And my man wanted NOTHING to do with me during that time! He all but walked through the house in sackcloth and ashes, waving a pot of incense and intoning, "unclean! unclean!" while I was left to masturbate in secret, lest he be further "disgusted". Gee…now that I think about it, I'm glad I'm able to use the past tense when writing of it!

  16. carol harrison says:

    hi- when i am on my period i just put on latex gloves and get a tube of k-y jelly. after i get a large amt. of jelly on my fingers and up in my husbands anus i simply insert my finger and after finding his prostate i slowly start massaging it. in about 10 minutes i can tell that he is going to ejaculate and just before this happens i really bear down on his prostate making him, have a very large orgasm. in fact i can make him cum so much that he wont want sex for 3 or 4 days and by that time i have stoped having my menstrual period.

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