Passing Fitness Tests and Getting Laid When She Has PMS

Athol,

Do you allow any more leniency during PMS time? In other words, if she usually is not showing disrespect, but might slip into it during her blue days, is it ever appropriate to just let anything go?
Hormones explain behavior, but do not excuse behavior.
If she is disrespectful during PMS and you let it slide, you’ll eventually give her permission to be disrespectful the entire time. Then you’re toast. If she’s being disrespectful, you need to address it – PMS or not.
It’s really an anger management issue and nothing else. If a man gets angry because of high testosterone and some sort of irritation, he’s expected to hold his crap together and not turn into an ogre. The exact same thing should be expected of women when they have hormonal issues.
However that being said, PMS is a very predictable circumstance. If you’re following my advice (in Chapter 15 of The Primer) you have your wife’s PMS week marked in your calendar and can see it coming. This is the week where you can turn a little more of the Beta stuff on and provide comfort for her. Cook dinner more nights than usual this week. Don’t spring a new or unusual demand on her this week. This is a good week to tell her to go out by herself for some alone time (if introverted) or visit one of her friends (if extroverted). Take the kids out by yourself for half an evening or something. Essentially create lessened demands on her through this time period.
Just bear in mind that when you turn the Beta stuff on, she should recognize and appreciate it and not simply just expect it as a divine right.
Just like any other anger management issue, a key approach is for the person that is angry, to recognize it as an emotional state they are experiencing and actively seek to address it rather than simply rage. One of the things I most love about Jennifer is that when she is PMSing, she just states in a calm but tired tone that she is experiencing PMS. I always do something to try and aid things then for her. Compared to having to live with someone that starts screaming, throwing things, picking fights with me, or acting impulsively before saying PMS is an issue… having her simply say she is having PMS is a true gift.
Come up with a coping strategy for her PMS times. Whatever that is will be individual for her. Jennifer calms down and relaxes by taking long baths with a book and a beverage. She also likes escaping to Panera Bread for something medium sinful to eat and fancy coffee and read a book for an hour or so. Or falling asleep on the couch while clutching a book. Whatever the coping strategy is, figure it out in advance together and when the moment comes, you can both remind the other of the plan and put it into action.
I’ve also done the Captain thing and just ordered Jennifer to go away and relax when she’s cranky. Quite often she works too hard and needs to be directed to knock it off and self-care. Given the choice between having a cranky wife all evening and not have sex at bedtime, I’d just rather kick her out of the house for a bit, clean the kitchen and get laid at bedtime.

Comments

  1. The MacNut says:

    Glad to see you think it's OK to provide some extra care to the wife during PMS time without losing too many Alpha points-provided she recognizes and appreciates it, of course.

  2. PMS?
    Meh, nothing but an excuse to shit-test the crap out of you just out of the sheer hellish "fun" of it.

    Watch how all the crankiness vanishes when she gets a call from mommy or some other person she actually respects.
    I bet this guy knows ALL about it. LOL

    As for the "no sex when the Indians (feather not dot) are circling".
    Google "sex sponges".
    Hookers use those routinely to earn their living. As unlike the normal wifeys they can´t pretend it´s a "warzone" down there.

  3. Jasmine says:

    Hans,

    For some women that is true, but PMS is very real. I do the same thing Jennifer does and come right out and warn my husband what is going on. Then we usually just leave each other alone (I'm an introvert) until I am feeling better. I am lucky in that 90% of the time I feel the change in my body and recognize it as hormonal and am able to completely control it. 10% of the time it gets really bad and I don't recognize it and end up profusely apologizing and having a great time making it up to my husband.

    I think it is important for the men to realize that hormones really can screw us up. The key is to find a woman who realizes this and does not take advantage of the situation. Many will treat you like crap during this time and especially during pregnancy because, simply, they can. If you find a good woman she will fight these hormones for both of your sakes.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I will back up Jasmine 100%. Also, the man's role is important here, too. It's very different when your man approaches you with confidence, assuring you that it's really okay – take some time, take extra pain meds, whatever. That opens up the good women to do just that – take care of themselves, and then they can turn their attention back to their man. Yep, it's high beta, delivered with high alpha. Done right, good women melt. I know I do!

  5. I like the part of our relationship where sometimes my wife seduces me and sometimes I seduce her. I take PMS to mean that there is no question it is my turn to do the seducing. From tht viewpoint, everything is easier to handle (my wife is admittedly more emotional than bitchy during PMS… I don't have to work to keep her from being mean, I have to work to keep her from breaking down in tears at the sight of a sink full of dirty dishes).

  6. Anonymous says:

    Mother of all shit tests! On more than one occasion (in my pre-Game past) my wife asked me to buy sanitary napkins for her. “The ones with the wings.” I failed miserably and agreed and went and bought them. Just wanted to note though that the women I’d see in the gina products aisle would coo, smile and make eye contact while I searched for her stuff. Just saying. But I wasn’t clear if it was pity or they were turned on my uber-beta behavior. P-Love

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