Repeat UTI Issue (You’re Welcome Baby)

Athol,

I found your website a while back and it changed my life. You have given me insights into how my wife thinks and using your advice has improved our relationship in ways I could have never imagined. We have been doing it like rabbits for several months now.

However, every couple of months my wife is getting urinary tract infections from all the sex we’re having. And to be clear, she’s loving all the sex like I would have never imagined. But I think she just came down with the 4th one this year. Its painful for her and she has to go to the doctor to get antibiotics. And the last couple of times, she has said that she doesn’t think we can ever have sex again because its so painful. Warranted or not, she also doesn’t want to become immune to antibiotics due to having to take them all the time.

I can understand her concerns, but I can’t live without sex for the rest of my life. I’d like some advice on how to handle this without damaging our sex life AND some practical medical advice on how she can prevent them from ever coming back because going to the doctor when they appear and getting antibiotics every time is wearing her thin.

HELP!
Hi there
(1) I would look into cranberry juice extract pills. They help prevent UTIs from even starting. You can google that and there’s plenty of evidence out there for it. You can buy them in most supermarkets.
(2) It may be a lubrication to roughness ratio issue. Chaffing can lead to increased chances of a UTI.
(3) I don’t mean to be rude here at all, but I have to mention it. There may be a personal hygiene issue there for either/both of you. Good handwashing and you doing the wash-your-cock thing before sex may make her more comfortable with the idea of having sex again.
(4) Jen adds…peeing after intercourse can also help to prevent UTI’s…you are cleaning out the works, so to speak.  No really…
(5) and Jen thinks of one more…does she take a lot of baths or use a hot tub/spa pool frequently?  This in combination with the increase in sexual activity can lead to more UTI’s.
Hope that fixes the problem!

Comments

  1. Another idea (speaking as a family doc), would be to ask her doctor for an antibiotic prescription that she can take when she feels UTI starting (without needing to go in). Usually, if caught early, 3 days are enough. This problem tends to lessen over time, even if frequent intercourse continues.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Keep these on hand – Azo Standard Urinary Pain Relief Tablets – no prescription needed – works right away, and yeah, wash the dick! (insert stupid smiley face here)

  3. Anonymous says:

    Does not live yogurt also help? I mean eating it, not applying it topically.

  4. Chronic UTIs are the only thing standing between me and a porn track in our marriage. It has wreaked havoc with our sex life. We've been married for sixteen years and I've done it all: cranberry, peeing after sex, wipe front to back, a 10-point list of questions at the Urologist's, garlic pills blah blah blah…nothing has worked, and in the end, I'm back at the docs dancing around waiting for an antibiotic to put me out of my misery.

    A couple of new things that I've tried this year that may be helpful if the other suggestions above don't work (and they never did for me):

    1. D-mannose has received rave reviews from Amazon. It's tasteless and odorless (much like iocane powder). It didn't work for me, but it may be worth a shot for your wife:

    http://tinyurl.com/3j7nurd

    2. I've also been reading a new book "Patients Encyclopedia of Urinary Tract Infection, Sexual Cystitis and Interstitial Cystitis: The international bible on self-help" by Angela Martin that has a few solutions that I haven't tried before. I'm going to give a few of her methods a shot to see if they're useful. (Her tone is a bit preachy and shrill in some areas, but if her methods work, then I'll take it.)

    http://tinyurl.com/3n49kzd

    3. I also take a low-dose antibiotic post-coital that my doc prescribed, but if your wife is not a big fan of antibiotics, then that's a no go. I'm not a big fan either, but it's been the most effective thing for us. Although, once my husband activated the powers of game we were on fire for three weeks solid and bingo, I got another UTI…so it's not bulletproof.

    4. Diet may also play a role. My urologist gave me a list of foods that could make a sensitive bladder unhappy. It contained fun things like "chocolate, alcohol, cheese, tomatoes", etc. Your wife may want to keep a log of that and see if some foods set her off.

    Finally, I hope you and your wife can find a solution that works for you both. If she's anything like me, she's miserable about the whole situation. I felt so much guilt about getting UTIs, and needing/wanting to limit intimacy because of it. It really helped that my husband was both patient and loving throughout all of it, and didn't blame me for my horrible bladder. Good luck!

  5. Anonymous says:

    I have known several women that got repeated infections while on birth control pills (including yeast infections) and when they got off of those everything cleared up! Maybe that is due to hormone imbalance? Not sure. In one case a diaphragm was not fitted properly and that seemed to encourage UTIs and when that was corrected no more UTIs. Another friend of mine found out she had what is called a horseshoe kidney and this seemed to be contributing to frequent UTIs (not sure about the scientific validity of that). Perhaps your urologist is not looking for deeper background problems that have nothing to do with frequent sex.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Athol, last year alone I had 8 yeast infections, and they usually occured after great sex with my husband. How do I prevent these? This year am up on my 2nd. Very frustrating, sometimes it can be up to 2-3 weeks before I'm better. Yes, I'm very clean, I don't bother with baths, since I know I'm sensitive down there.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I have the same issue. UTIs are incredibly painful, especially for women. Here are a few things that have helped me:

    1) Pee. Don't pee before sex. Save it up to clear the works after.

    2) Shower after sex. Yes, every damn time. Do not stay in bed and get sticky, no matter how much you want to cuddle and fall asleep.

    3) Drink plenty of fluids. I drink probably a gallon of water every day. Getting even remotely dehydrated is a straight line to a UTI, sex or no sex.

    4) Trim the hedges. Both of you. There should be no hair down there whatsoever. If my husband starts getting a little fluffy down there, guaranteed UTI, and he's a very hygienic dick-washing sort of guy.

    5) No cunni. You think your dick is dirty? You don't even want to know what's growing in the human mouth. I really cannot get oral without getting a UTI, and my husband is a floss-every-day sort of guy. Sorry, ladies.

    6) Lube (or don't). Like Athol said, there may be a friction issue, but for me, lube makes the UTI problem worse. My body just doesn't want that foreign goo all over me. Your own juice is best, so embrace foreplay.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Condoms with spermicide. Once I quit them, I never had another UTI.

  9. I think the big take-away from these comments is, if there isn't any anatomical dysfunction, then there could be quite a few factors that could trigger a UTI, and tracking, identifying and eliminating them will help.

    The trick is to find it.

    …but bear in mind, what's a trigger for one woman isn't necessarily one for another. And you may *never* find the trigger. I haven't yet, but am still on the look out. (We've ruled out anatomical issues from urologist).

    I truly envy those women who can have hot, sweaty sex, no clean up, fall asleep, spent, and then sleep through the night and not get UTIs. LIke sex in the movies… It's sadly my ultimate sexual fantasy at this pont! Our before and after sex routine is like a haz-mat chemical cleansing.

    My urologist claims that I'm lucky, because some women don't even get relief from anything, they always get UTIs. *shudder*.

    Re yeast infections above, have you looked into Acidophilus pills? Or had your partner checked for yeast? It may be that y'all are reinfecting each other…

  10. Anonymous says:

    Hand jobs only…with rubber gloves, sorry guys!

  11. Candice says:

    Sounds like a totally horrid problem!

    I'm just wondering – perhaps yogurt fortified with acidophillus as a lubricant? Types of sex that don't rub or impact the urethral opening? Oral sex using some sort of barrier – as in safe sex? Has anyone tried this?

  12. anonymouse says:

    Coconut oil is an amazingly good lubricant, very healthy for you, won’t stain the sheets, has antibacterial properties, and helps fight infections down there. It works perfectly for a lube for so many reasons. If you’re using chemical based lubes then I would try the coconut oil (a 16oz jar of organic from Spectrum in the grocery store is about $8-9 and lasts a while… a little goes a long way). It would help fight off any infection on the outside, and reduce friction overall, so it could be helpful. I don’t really get uti’s, even when we’re going at it like rabbits, but having some sensitivity issues down there, coconut oil is one of the best options I’ve found.

    Keeping up on cranberry is good, also keeping your sugar intake a little lower will help. Acidophilus (in yogurt), is more for treating yeast infections if I remember correctly…

  13. Angeline says:

    No one has yet mentioned pantyhose or underwear. Working in the heat of a deep south summer the heat and sweat caused by either gave me recurring UTI’s and yeast infections. Both problems were lessened by peeing after sex, but giving up synthetic underwear, and scrapping them altogether for the most part, and not wearing pantyhose (I cut out the crotch completely if I *have* to wear them) was the real cure for me. I also cosign to the hydration + cranberry juice (not cocktail, juice), it is mildly acidic and I think it changes the ph of your urine. Smoking, birth control hormones, too much sugar, too much clothing, all can affect your urinary tract.

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