(This is all the same reader by the way… in a sort of Stream-of-Hamster-Consciousness…)
I Think your missing the bigger picture in this question. As a wife in this situation it’s not the lack of sex so much as the sex I get when I do get it. I’m a 4-7 times a week kinda girl. My dh is a 2-3 times a week guy. I’m also 13 yrs younger. I would be alright with 3 times a week if it was come up behind me, grind a hard cock against my ass, throw me on the bed and fuck me sore sex. Then I don’t think I would mind a slight pause in between. The problem is my dh will do me every other day. Sometimes everyday. IF I ASK. If I do all the dirty work. If I approach him if I blow him. Yadda yadda. So is allota ok sex better than really good sometimes sex. Not for me. What I miss, What I’m craving is the pursuit. I want to feel wanted. Not humored. There are times when I’m horny and I approach, am given the green light and then almost lose interest as I know that I have to fondle for 5 mins the suck another 5 before he’s even ready. It’s routine. It’s boring. It’s not hot. So what do I do? I don’t want a vibrator (have one) but that’s not what I’m looking for. For me the suggestion of have him just not cum half the time seems…. Like I might as well just use the shower head. I think that alot of the women who ask you this question are not seeking the sex as much as the chase. Or lack off
I doesn’t matter if it’s once a day or once a week (I’ve tried this) it’s the same level of interest either way. I dont keep him limp all the time, mostly when I’m ovulating Im just extra horny and like it 24/7
On average I’d say were a 3-4/wk couple. I said if I ASK I can get some everyday. Not that I do ask everyday. I’m trim. Long hair. Look nice. Wear the thongs he likes. So what else do I do? Because ur blog is all about giving ur man all the sex he want and things will be awesome. But what if all the sex HE WANTS is less than I want? I do all the things as far a my appearance goes that I can do. So what next? ( I know that tone doesn’t come across so well in writing, I’m not trying to be snarky, I really do want to know) because I tolerate the lack of sex as I very much love my husband. But I am not happy about it. I think my husband is hot. I want him. Alot. So what gives? I’ve done the back of and let him approach. Doesn’t work. He will approach me. But once a week. Seriously Athol would u be good with once a week?
Oh and as far as the suggestion above. I don’t get the point. For me one of the greatest parts of sex is satisfying my partner. Of having that together. And doubt he would go for that anyway. I’ve asked for him to just “do me” on occasion and he thinks that is selfish on my part. That he should be included or I should wait.
Never mind. Scratch that while post above. I think I may have figured out the problem. I was just re-reading the part where I say my husband would do it if I asked. That pretty much sums up our relationship. I think I’m testing here. I’m waiting for him to push back. My husband is great and will do pretty much WHATEVER I ask. This is the problem. I think I’m using sex as an issue to get him to man it up elsewhere. Maybe I don’t want him to half- hard dick me. I just want him to say ” not tonight. I let u know when u deserve it” ( or something like that) that would be hot. Holy shit Athol ur a genius. LMFAO. U don’t even know how many blogs and sites I’ve been to trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong and what to do about it and sex wasn’t even the real issue in the first place. So next step is buy book-leave it on nightstand
Can you make this a post? I think it woild really help other women I’m my same situation. I literally just had an epiphany above. I knew something was off I just didn’t know what it was let alone how to articulate it. My husband is too beta for me. I just didn’t realize it. So I used this issue because I genuinely thought this was the problem. It is not. For me one of the most alpha traits i can think of it a caveman like throw me down, pull my hair and smack my ass move. But what I’m really wanting is just a little more alpha in general. It’s not the sex. It was just the easiest fix for the problem that I didn’t even know was there. If my dh threw in a few of the moves I said above it would probly quench my alpha thirst and things would roll more smoothly. But just the same if he alpha’d up elsewhere i bet I would perfectly fine with the sex were having now. My dh is a stay at home dad and I work. I tend to take the leadership role out of default. I DON’T WANT it! I don’t want my husband to do whatever I say. I don’t want my husband to do things just to appease me. I want him to say what he wants and be firm about it. I don’t want all the power it’s exausting. I would rather be the one at home but it just didn’t play out that way. Ok. Sorry for the multiple comments. I’ll go shut my mouth n read now