Pair-bonding is real and won’t be disappearing anytime within our lifetimes. Which means that relationships that are in the “this sucks infected donkey-balls” to “this is fairly good but not great” relationships range, will hurt like hell when you break them off in search of a great relationship.
The Badgerhut – Moving on and when to do it
MMSL – Red Flags
Hooking Up Smart – When you can’t let go of an ex
To be sure some men don’t ever want to be married and that’s cool. They automatically won’t care about breaking off a relationship because that was their intent from the get go. But most men will want if not a legal marriage, a V(ery)LTR, so the rules apply just the same to that as a marriage… wife choice is extremely critical.
The solution is obvious, simple but a pain in the ass to actually do. Just don’t get hooked into a relationship that isn’t worth going the distance with. If you’re with someone that is good for you but not great for you, the longer you spend with them, the more of your precious time you use up. Men have a Sex Rank shelf-life just as women do, it starts off slower and ends later, but we do still have one. (Unless you have what amounts to “fuck-you” money and can rent a hottie on a semi-permanent contract of course. But I’m guessing my average reader isn’t up in the eight or nine figures net worth range.)
So if you want to look for your “One and Done” girl, you have to actively look for her and not waste time with second best.
From the Primer page 300 (28.2 in Kindle)….
A key problem is that most men do not go looking for a wife. They start looking for a date, and then try and turn the date into more dates, then the dates into a girlfriend, then a girlfriend into a serious relationship, and then and only then worry about whether or not to bridge the relationship into marriage. Of course by then you may be realizing you’ve been backing the wrong horse as what was great for a few dates (that would be tits, ass and easy pussy) isn’t always the best woman for a lifetime together.
If you’re really looking for a wife, kids, the PTA, ER visits, Thanksgiving Dinners, a joint bank account and someone who will hold your hand until the last minute as they push your bed into surgery, then you need to start with that somewhat in mind. By all means date around, but when you start to see major red flags, just stop dating them and move on. If you’re dating within any sort of coherent social group and you are passing on women because you are “looking for a woman with wife material” that will likely make all the women in that group sit up and take notice of you.
The truth is that men willing to commit to a woman in this day and age are in short supply, and by being willing to express interest in commitment, your value goes even higher. You might land a highly attractive woman simply because you were willing to commit to marriage, when supposedly better men than you were available to her.
So start with the end in mind rather than blundering into things just because you can get laid.