Sexy Move: Be A Smooth Criminal

So your mom made you learn cello.

How do you regain your Alpha frame? 


I’m not saying it’s going to work on all the girls. But you will get mad interest from the girls in the band who are your easy (heh) target audience.
Don’t pass over the girls in the band either. Learning music takes intelligence, excellent manual dexterity, patience to stick with something and the ability to work in a team for a shared goal. All good things. Personally I have a preference for girls that played wind instruments. Jennifer played the clarinet, which means she learned how to breath right and sustain long periods of blowing.


  1. Looking Glass says:

    So many double entendres! I foresee many band jokes about to happen. Just make sure that's actually a clarinet in your pocket, though, Athol. :)

  2. LushLindsey says:

    Cello does it for me. Always has though, even in the classical sense. Something to do with the passion behind the music and nimble fingers ;)

  3. Anonymous says:

    Ha! So cool!
    Another sexy instrument is the Ukulele:

    Stephenie Rowling

  4. Anonymous says:

    Add piano to a clarinetist' abilities and you have quite a woman. I have excellent manual dexterity and can sustain a very long blow :D

    -Stargate Girl

  5. jadagul says:

    No love for the singers? All the advantages of a wind instrument–and you forgot learning to relax your throat–plus lots of control over the lips and tongue.

  6. Looking Glass says:

    So, in hindsight, you really should pick up girlfriends from Band. Wish I'd realized this in high school, lol!

  7. Athol Kay says:

    I love how all the music girls just blurt out their sex skills in the comments.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Give ya three guesses where OffTheCuff and I met….

    -Stargate Girl

  9. I didn't know Edward Cullen played the cello.

  10. Athol,

    You've done what the PUAs call "qualifying," now they are trying to prove themselves ;P

    On a related note I am going out with a self-described "band geek" in a few hours.

  11. Haha, lame copycats!
    If you want to see how to get pussy playing the cello, these guys are the originals: (Can't find the original music vid, but this live show should give you the idea ;-)

  12. Looking Glass says:

    Badger: he qualified them, but admitting to being in Band is generally considered "uncool" or "unsexy", unless you're the guy playing the guitar. (That and the dedication to get good tends to select the less social people)

    Still, Athol does point out the rather good benefits to dating someone that was in Band. :)

  13. Anonymous says:

    Damn! Former choir girl who gave up when I realized I wasn't going to be competitve. Too innocent to realize the benefits! I'm gonna start singing again!

  14. jadagul says:

    Uh…..Athol, I'm a dude. We need lips and tongues too.

  15. Tarlach says:

    My fiance is a classically trained trumpet player, he can play other instruments as well. I think the sexiest thing I ever saw him do was conduct. Very passionate.

  16. The Mrs. says:

    Athol, we clarinet players also learn fancy TONGUING techniques…single, double, triple…

    Let's just say people would be surprised what "band geeks" will do behind the scenes. A bunch of people with serious passion and skills that are sexually useful? Yeah…

  17. Really? No one has said, "One time, in band camp…" yet?

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