I’m getting tired of being labeled as always having my finger hovering over the divorce button. Divorce is nasty but a required item in your tool set, but it’s not like I’m in a rush to just throw a marriage on the ground. One of the things that those who have only read parts of the blog and not The Primer seem to misunderstand, is just how long it takes to work through The MAP successfully. It’s more like a marathon than a sprint.
The Timeline spelled out Chapter 16 covers seven distinct phases of action in running The MAP. Each of the first three phases can take anywhere from three months to a year to work through depending on how you are in comparison to her Sex Rank. The fifth phase can take just as long as well. The ultimatum doesn’t even happen until the sixth phase… assuming you even need to get that far.
By controlling the approach to fixing your intolerable problem, and slowly changing yourself / turning up the heat, the other spouse usually changes for the better well in advance of ever needing a divorce ultimatum.
In fact, I’m not sure I even remember getting a reader email that said they had gotten as far as the divorce ultimatum. Most all reader email tells me that it worked quickly and the wives were responsive by Phase Three or Four. A small percentage did have wives that filed for divorce or left for the other man, but they were usually in a very rough starting place to begin with.
So I’m curious. Has anyone that has run The MAP ever gotten as far as needing the divorce ultimatum to wake his wife up to the seriousness of the the situation? How far did you need to get to in the Timeline before seeing real results?
(And no I’m not going to spell out the Timeline on the blog. Not ever. I have a crap ton of free content and I have to hold something back. Buy the damn book.)