I’ve started noticing more and more how I’m getting two sorts of general responses from guys doing the MAP and/or general MMSL thing. (Clarification: Two responses from guys who haven’t left it too late and are mired in divorce or cheating situations.)
The first set give me an almost instant thumbs up that everything is suddenly coming together and their wife is repeatedly falling over and pointing her legs in the air in a V formation.
The second set give me a story about how it is kinda slow going, but things are getting better and they’ve gone from basically next to nothing sexually to getting something.
Here’s what I think is happening. The first group doesn’t have any major structural weaknesses with their relationship other than they don’t know some basic Game understanding and moves. They have a reasonable job/income, the house is basically in decent shape, they have a reasonable physical fitness and they aren’t afflicted with a psych disorder. They’re just regular standard issue good guys. Once they get the Game moves and understanding together – a.k.a. Isolate, Instigate and Escalate – their wives just eat them up.
The second group does have some major structural weaknesses though, and basic Game isn’t a magic spell that makes those irrelevant. These guys are some combination of fat, broke, live in a dump and have some kind of behavior that is an active energy drain on their wife. Game can make the situation a little better, but then again basic first aid can make a bullet wound a little better too. Mostly what you’re doing is buying yourself some extra time to get the structural issue fixed.
In the last post, our fridge died and we had to buy a new one. Thankfully we have the cash to so because if we didn’t, we’d be stuck with individual trips to the grocery store every day keeping milk in a cooler needing ice everyday. It’s been fun for a couple of days while we wait for the fridge, but trust me that having to do it for a couple of months until we could afford a new fridge would wear on my lady love.
A playful little spank on the ass as Jennifer opens her new fridge works great. A playful little spank on the ass as Jennifer bends over for the hundredth time to get milk out of a ice filled cooler in the kitchen would read very differently. Same little Game move, very different results.
So if you have major structural attraction issues, you have to get started on fixing those as fast and as best as you can. Get fit, fix the house, have an income, don’t be crazy or a drain on her. Game is all well and good, but you have to cover the Beta basics in a marriage to have the Alpha stuff really kick in.
And yes I realize the economy sucks like a Dyson. Yes I realize plenty of good guys can’t find work. If that’s you I advise continuing to look for work actively, and ensuring you are using your time effectively to cover the other basic structural needs as well as you can. It’s not my fault that women react to guys without jobs like guys react to fat chicks.
If you’ve got an obvious glaring weak area, get started on that first. Usually as long as your wife sees you making positive progress toward a goal, it gives her hope for the future with you. Give her hope.