Sexy Move: Hair Pulling When On Top

If she likes having her hair pulled during sex, it’s easy enough if she’s on top, you just reach up and grab a handful. But most pull-my-hair types like being on the bottom and it’s harder to get a proper handful when she’s under you. You do need a proper handful because that spreads the pull across her scalp as a sense of pressure, rather than grabbing just a little hair and turning it into something painful… or a lost clump of hair.
The real issue is that the pillow gets in the way, so toss her pillow away. Then if she turns her head to one side, that allows you to get good access to most of her hair and get a good handful. Once you have a good hold, her head is fairly well stuck in place as some of your body weight will be resting on your elbow/forearm attached to the hand holding her hair.
This is a very firmly held position even compared to her being tied up with low end bondage equipment. That she could probably break out of if she wanted to, but you on top of her holding her head turned to the side leaves her with zero leverage. Unless you let her go, she’s… ahh… fucked. Which is the idea and the excitement, but also she may find it a little more than she expected. So a safeword may be in order. If you don’t have a safeword, consider “stop” or “let me go” or even “ow my hair!” acceptable attempts at using a safeword.
The upside is that she’s basically held stationary and you can’t (and shouldn’t) accidentally jerk on her head/neck and risk her injury. So it should be quite safe while being very firm.
And like anything else rough, this is something to talk about before you do it. Consent is important and besides… she’ll just be confused as hell if you throw her pillow off the bed without cluing her in.


  1. Anonymous says:

    My wife of 20+ years seems to enjoy these three domination moves… perhaps yours will too:

    - In the missionary position, I put my non-dominant hand under and behind her head and brace myself with my dominant hand and forearm. Sometimes I will grab her hair as you stated. Firm french kisses usually provoke her to grab the bicep of the arm behind her head which makes her stationary. When it's time, there's no holding back and she gets a firm pounding fuck for as long as I can last. This move has really improved since my abs are strengthening by following the Supreme 90 Day workout. Thanks for that tip, Athol!

    - Again in the missionary position, I will take each hand in mine, fingers intertwined, and pin her down with her hands palm up on the bed and my hands face down toward the bed. I watch for signals if she ever wants to get free, but she never has wanted to. She usually pulls her legs up around my midsection, but other times I will float on top of her to get as much clit contact as I can. It doesn't take long for her to moan in ectasy.

    - Finally, when doggy style fucking (my favorite), she gets a special domination treat. I will slow down to make it last and take my nails and make long scratch marks on her back. The goal is not to break skin, but she looks like a zebra when we're done. She usually cums each time I scratch… at least three per session. I will also throw in pulling hair in the middle and at the end, and I love to grab her shoulders and push myself deep into her when we finish. This happy couple instantly falls asleep dreaming of the next doggy encounter.

  2. Awesome. As a woman, I think it's worth noting that if you don't give me the heads up prior to the session, things can get awkward real quick. You can easily take it from light, sexy domination to aggressive, turn off I-can't-believe-you-did-that.

  3. Good advice, Chiara. I think anon 10:34 knows his wife after 20+ years. :)

    I like everything you mentioned anon, but I haven't been scratched. I'd like a heads up from the hubster too before he tries it. I don't crave to be scratched, but I'll bet a lot of women love it.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Anon 10:34 here…
    Lainey – Yes… I know my wife pretty well after 20yrs! The scratches are more or less the same pressure as a back scratch, except done slowly from top to bottom. The "zebra" lines only last a little while (15 mins?) and fade away. I make sure my nails are evenly clipped so skin isn't broken. She loves having the standard (non-sexual) action of me scratching her back to get rid of an itch, so one time I tried this since my hands were looking for something to do. :) It's something that clicks with her. Maybe it will with you… give it a try. Note: Recently she has scratched my back during our mutual climax and I enjoyed it as well!

    Re: Chiara's "I-can't-believe-you-did-that", although my wife doesn't usually talk much during sex, she will let me know if something isn't to her liking and I will accommodate her request. When we perform #2, she moves her second hand toward mine which gives me confirmation that she wants to proceed. All is good.

    BTW: We don't do these activities every time. We just add them into our repertoire to spice things up occasionally. Do only what's comfortable for both of you, but think about stepping outside of the "every day" once in a while. If you're a visitor to this site, I suspect you do that anyway or are considering to. I'm always looking for fun, safe and unique ways to have sex with my wife and that's why I visit Athol's excellent site and others similar to it.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Love when my husband grabs huge handful of hair and pulls/holds firmly….. especially in "doggy" style. Oh. Yeah.

  6. Anon: Good to know :)

  7. Robertson says:

    I'm going to give anon's idea a try. My wife love…LOVES being scratched. Never thought to try that in flagrante delecto. Let's see how that goes.

  8. Anonymous says:

    When fucking doggystyle, a really alpha move is to hair pull with one hand while slapping her ass with the other. I've been with many girls who've liked that.


  9. Thag Jones says:

    You can easily take it from light, sexy domination to aggressive, turn off I-can't-believe-you-did-that.

    It depends on the individual I guess, because this has never come up for me except perhaps the odd bite that's been a bit too hard, which isn't much of a deal – I'm usually nudging for more aggression if anything. The element of surprise is important too; if you discuss every little thing first you lose that. You can always have a safe word if you're that worried.

  10. Rickey wiliams says:

    On the other side of the coin what about women pulling a mans hair during sex? When having sex my girl would always like pulling my hair.My hair is medium length afro making it easy the grab my hair in tiny fist.At first I kind of liked it but she became abusive soon after was grabbing me by the hair to do everything from kissing me to pouring a drink down my throat.It was very hard to make her let go of my hair.She could be very dominating with this.I got used to it though.

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