A double bind is a lose-lose choice presented to you. It’s sort of a Husband-as-Dilbert and Wife-as-Pointy-Haired-Manager dynamic. The choice is essentially limited to how you prefer to get screwed over.
It works something like this…. she says to you…
(1) Do something not in your best interest that I want you to do.
(2) Or you are a very bad person who isn’t caring / helping / sharing / loving / nuzzling my vagina just right.
So there’s no way to win with either of those choices. The solution is to recognize the double bind, and break out of her frame. Just call her out on it and refuse to choose either choice as valid. She’ll call you a bad person of course. Give her a big smile and thank her for the compliment and walk away.