Not sure I’ve covered this one before because it’s such a red flag, but you never know, so I’ll throw it out there anyway. All this applies to men taking their ring off too.
It’s not always clear precisely what it means when she takes the wedding ring off, but it always means “something is rotten in the state of Denmark”.
She might be gearing up to cheat on you. She may already be cheating on you. She may hate your guts and fantasize about poisioning you slowly over six months. She may be mentally checking out of the marriage and thinking about divorce. She may be taking off the wedding ring to compartmentalize doing something very nasty to you. She may be taking the ring off to try and freak you out. She might have taken the ring off because she knows the divorce papers she ordered to be served to you are arriving in three days. To be honest it’s not even the reasons she takes her ring off that we can think of that should scare you, it’s the reasons we can’t.
The wedding ring is extremely symbolic of the committment to your marriage. Thus when it comes off, it’s extremely symbolic of the lack of committment to your marriage. So as long as the ring is off her finger, it’s “Red Alert. Shields Up.” Then you find out through whatever legal means are at your disposal what exactly is going on with her. There will always be something funky going on. Always. As in always.
Should the ring come off her finger, it’s often a passive-aggressive version of saying “I want a divorce”. You wouldn’t let that one slide by without a serious apology if it was said in anger, and should the ring slip off her finger and then mysteriously slip back on again, you should also expect an explanation and an apology. Otherwise, just assume that the increased passivity of putting the ring back on is matched by an increased rage against you beneath the surface.
So always get to the bottom of it. Always. As in always.
That being said, there are some quite legitmate reasons not to wear a wedding ring. It is against regulations to wear them in several professions/jobs. Some people become allergic to the metal and can’t wear them without getting a nasty rash on their finger. In these cases you can’t wear the ring because of these legitimate reasons. That’s the key phrase though – legitimate reasons. You have to be able to point to a legitimate reason where you both understand that for either some or all of the time, rings can’t be worn.
If for whatever reason you lose a ring, have an excellent cover story announce it without sounding frightened and with a tone of anger-at-self. When they ask you where you lost it, yell “If I knew where I lost it, I wouldn’t have lost it now would I!” Spend hours looking for the ring. Hours. As in hours. If you can’t find it, put buying a new one high on the priority list. If you’re a wife that lost them down the kitchen sink, it’s ideal if your husband finds you on your hands and knees… pulling apart the U-joint trap thingy under the sink trying to find them.
So anyway, be advised. The rings are teh serious.
And guys…. stop taking them off and spinning them on the table. There are no prizes to win and only punishments if you lose. It’s like Russian Roulette Lite.