Forget The Ring, The Schwartz Is In You!

Mike has left a new comment on your post “What Does It Mean When She Takes Her Wedding Ring Off?”
For some reason this post resonated with me when I read it a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know if that has anything to do with what happened but basically while at the beach the other day my wife and I were goofing around wrestling in the ocean and the waves. She had fallen down and was getting tossed around so I quickly grabbed her hand. Well, her hand slipped and took my ring with it and was lost for good.
Spent the next two hours combing the beach hoping against logic that it would wash up but..I mean, why would it?
What are the next steps a happily married couple should take? Just go buy a new one and call it fixed? I know it’s just “stuff” but we’re both really bummed that we lost my ring and it almost feels like getting a new one would be a limp gesture.
Athol: Awwww that’s crappy luck, but it’s all in the way you frame the story.
In the utter insanity of looking for a tiny bit of heavy metal in the crashing surf, you both searched for the ring for hours. Together. Side by side. Hearts as one.
Put that way, it doesn’t really seem like you lost anything but a couple hundred bucks. The ring is just a symbol. It’s not the love. There’s no magic in the ring itself. It’s in the wanting to wear it with pride and honor.
Or put another way…
Just go buy a new ring together and tell the story about the day you guys lost the old ring for the next 40-50 years. Have two versions… playfully blame each other in each other’s version. Then kiss each other long and deep as your children and grandchildren roll their eyes and moan disgust, but feel a deep inner peace from hearing the family legend retold nonetheless.
Marriage is a long time. Some days you’ll win, some days you’ll lose. But you’ll win and lose as a team.


  1. Looking Glass says:

    Ah, Athol does have a sentimental side. :) Then again, you can do that after talking about "Ocean Voyage" and not come off as schmaltzy.

    Good points all around.

  2. Anonymous says:

    And remember next time that "reasons to leave your wedding ring off" include "going to the beach". I never NEVER wear mine to the beach, and neither did/does my mom!

  3. I disagree with Athol in his conclusion, but I do think he was correct in putting in the clip from Spaceballs. What that clip goes to show is that she's not your wife anymore. Instead she's your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

    Sorry to have to break it to you this way.

  4. My wife and I did not wear wedding rings for the first 5 years of our marriage. We were too broke to buy anything nice when we first got married, and then after awhile it was sort of a point of pride. Then my 10 year high school class reunion was coming up and suddenly my wife wanted us both to get wedding rings. Heh. I always thought that timing was kind of funny. Now I feel naked without mine.

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