Due Diligence Before You Marry

When you rent an apartment, all the landlord truly cares about is, (1) will you be able to pay the rent, (2) are you going to trash the apartment, and (3) are you going to turn the dining room into a meth-lab. So if the landlord has even a walnut sized brain, before they lease the apartment to you, they run credit and criminal background checks on you. If all checks out, you get the apartment.
The landlord does not care if you are pretty.
When you meet a woman and start thinking about moving from a non-serious relationship into a serious one, all you tend to automatically care about is whether or not she is pretty.
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The Female Adaptation Problem With Game

This was the post I started writing yesterday… but I got side tracked writing about how smart my cat was.
The original point I was going to use Max for, was that despite being “just a cat”, he clearly displays adaptation to his environment. If you do something a few times related to something important to him, he learns and adapts to the situation. He gets used to it.
As long time readers know, I work with developmentally disabled clients. Now while they are by definition below average IQ, I can very much assure you that they learn and adapt to their environment. They extremely quickly learn who the weak staff are and who will stick to the plan. Who gets scared and who will stand their ground. Who makes the best food for dinner and who doesn’t. Sure they need assistance to live safely, but they learn and adapt to the situation in a way that simply dwarfs any animal. They also get bored.
For a normal or above range IQ human, adaptation is wickedly fast. We hear a song on the radio and just love it, but by the tenth time it’s just okay. We read a dozen fiction books in a genre, and halfway through the next book we are already starting to predict the plot. We mix and match recipes with ease and predict the taste of food we’ve never eaten or cooked even as we make it. Humans are the absolute masters of adaptation.
This mastery of adaptation is problematic in two ways for Game. The first is obvious, all those Pick Up Artist special routines and gimmicks are great for meeting a woman for the first time or a second time. But once you’ve done your clever routine twice in her presence, she adapts and realizes it’s a canned routine. Doing it a third time to her makes her want to switch her attention to another guy just the same way she flips from station to station trying to find a song she likes.
The second problem is less obvious, but dramatically important. If you keep displaying nothing but Alpha traits to her repeatedly, she adapts to it and the Alphaness is less impressive. While you are off doing your man of action thing, she’s sitting home and complaining to her friend that you’re supposedly Mr Impressive, but somehow she isn’t all that impressed.
Likewise if you display nothing but Beta Traits to her repeatedly, she adapts to it and the Betaness is less comforting and emotionally meaningful. You’re always around doing stuff for her, but you’re more of a friend than a man.
The solution is as I’ve said often before to mix up the Alpha and Beta on her. Think of it as a relationship “muscle confusion” tactic aka P90X or Supreme 90 Day exercise. You never give her time to fully adapt to you being a certain way, so she has an ongoing positive emotional reaction to you that builds over time.
The absolute wrong answer is to switch from an “all Beta” approach, get the early positive reaction from switching to an all Alpha approach, and then struggle to understand why continuing to be perfectly Alpha is less and less effective. Then when Alpha is less effective… add even more Alpha and become bigger, louder and more obnoxious to her.
If the problem is you’re too Alpha, add Beta. If the problem is you’re too Beta, add Alpha.
You have to switch back and forth on her. Hey look at my nice body, watch me be a man of action, I’m so in love with you. I’m going to studfuck you, then we’ll cuddle. Don’t shit on me or I’ll kick you out, but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.
It’s really that simple. Now go read Chicken, Monkey, Duck.
 

The Best Pussy I Ever Had

Max is the best cat I’ve ever had.
I found him as a tiny kitten utterly lost, crying and stumbling across the back lawn one Saturday. A scrap of black fur inconveniently placed in front of my mower. We bottle fed him for a while and he pulled through just fine. The girls were so little then, everyone got their ba-bas, and no doubt Max thinks he’s one of our kids. He’s also calm and affectionate with visiting kids and toddlers and always quietly leads them on the guided tour of the house, ending in the kitchen and him staring at the drawer with the cat treats.
Max is exceptionally smart, knowing everyone’s pattern of movements and sleeping schedules. During the week, he will climb on Jennifer in bed by 730am to make sure she’s up. On the weekend, Max sleeps in too. On Jennifer’s work from home days he sits on the chair next to her and naps on and off, with periodic prompts for strokes and cuddles. He greets everyone as they come in the house as a sort of feline doorman. Artful Dodger style, he’ll will hit up…
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The Two Week Rule

Everyone has good days and bad days in a relationship, so not every day or week will go wonderfully in your marriage. Bad moods can come and go. However bad moods, changes in behavior or general wierdness shouldn’t go on and on without explanation or investigation.
I’m still somewhat reading the Talk About Marriage forum but commenting less and less. I’m just getting frustrated with the near constant issue of variations on the theme of, “My wife has been cranky with me for no reason that I understand and going out with her newly divorced girlfriend a lot. This has been going on for the last two years. How do I reconnect with her?”
Regular MMSL readers will already be facepalming and groaning. Dude, did you not see the signs?
And yes, almost always the problem is that an affair of some sort has been going on for the last two years. Which generally means the poster is screwed with an enormously difficult situation to resolve. The biggest aspect of his failure is simply a failure to do anything to understand the situation. Nearly any other reaction would have been better than simply doing nothing and hoping her attitude would change toward him.
A wife’s affair at the two year mark is usually deeply physical and emotionally intense with the lover, and coupled with a very shallow connection to the husband. But at the two week mark, an affair is usually only at the flirting level with inappropriate texts, emails and phone calls. That’s vastly easier to head off and resolve things.
It may not even be cheating either. It can be any number of potentially relationship breaking problems that cause your spouse to get strange on you.
So the rule is simple…
Anytime you notice your partner being usually moody, odd, avoidant or devious with you, never let it go on more than two weeks without getting to the bottom of it.