The Best Pussy I Ever Had

Max is the best cat I’ve ever had.
I found him as a tiny kitten utterly lost, crying and stumbling across the back lawn one Saturday. A scrap of black fur inconveniently placed in front of my mower. We bottle fed him for a while and he pulled through just fine. The girls were so little then, everyone got their ba-bas, and no doubt Max thinks he’s one of our kids. He’s also calm and affectionate with visiting kids and toddlers and always quietly leads them on the guided tour of the house, ending in the kitchen and him staring at the drawer with the cat treats.
Max is exceptionally smart, knowing everyone’s pattern of movements and sleeping schedules. During the week, he will climb on Jennifer in bed by 730am to make sure she’s up. On the weekend, Max sleeps in too. On Jennifer’s work from home days he sits on the chair next to her and naps on and off, with periodic prompts for strokes and cuddles. He greets everyone as they come in the house as a sort of feline doorman. Artful Dodger style, he’ll will hit up…
Buy Me!

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Comments

  1. johnnyshornofplenty says:

    Rick-rolled.

    I clicked on the title of this post at Keoni's blog.

  2. Athol Kay says:

    Look deeper Johnny.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Love it. My husband and I were just watching the Dog Whisperer episode of South Park last night, and wagering that you were a Cesar Milan-style behavior modification fan. :)

    Sometimes I find it disturbing that humans act so much like animals, that the difference is not so great in many ways … but probably the most important thing I've learned from the "manosphere" is that if you deny reality it will hurt you (h/t Delusion Damage). So it seems best to approach new people (with unknown trust level) as simply animals, until they show they can rise above their basic instincts/natures. Or can we never completely trust our intellects? I.e., is it ever possible to move past [the need for] these techniques and rely on rational thought and discussion? Or do I need to more fully accept the fact that this is just how the world is?

  4. johnnyshornofplenty says:

    Ah, so the moral of the story is at the end in brackets?

    The awkward thing with human females is knowing what counts as a "reward" or "punishment".

    With men or domestic animals its more cut-and-dried.

  5. Lainey says:

    "With men or domestic animals its more cut-and-dried."

    For men, I would hazzard a guess that it is sex, food, backrubs, admiration, verbal praise. Am I missing anything?

    For women, praise, hugs, kisses,cuddling, really listening to her, sex, help around the house, filling the car with gas, any other kind of maintenance, going out together, buying flowers, taking her shopping or just giving her the money to go, etc. Chime in ladies if you can think of anything I missed.

  6. Lainey says:

    Oops forgot punishment. I think for both sexes punishment would be the other partner gets angry, irritated, or annoyed, and withdraws emotionally or physically.

  7. Athol Kay says:

    "With men or domestic animals its more cut-and-dried."

    Women aren't complicated. Buy the book :-)

  8. Leonidas says:

    This is more or less EXACTLY the way I treat our dogs. I keep trying to explain this whenever Hermione wonders why they bug HER all the time and won't leave her alone, but they never bother me.

  9. Charles, RN says:

    Max must be short for "maximus" or "maximum _personality_" or something.

  10. Badger says:

    "Oops forgot punishment. I think for both sexes punishment would be the other partner gets angry, irritated, or annoyed, and withdraws emotionally or physically."

    One thing many of us guys have found out too late is that for many women in many situations, emotional response is itself a reward – whether it is positive or negative. Fitness testing has a strong component of trying to elicit a reaction. Women love hearing about their haircut or shoes because it's evidence we're paying attention.

    It's half of why negging is effective as an attraction tactic – even if you're disagreeing with a woman, you're telling her that you notice something about her.

    Makes me think Elie Wiesel was talking about women when he said "the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference."

  11. Lainey says:

    "One thing many of us guys have found out too late is that for many women in many situations, emotional response is itself a reward – whether it is positive or negative. Fitness testing has a strong component of trying to elicit a reaction. Women love hearing about their haircut or shoes because it's evidence we're paying attention."

    Hmmm, I don't know about that. I know I have read it on the man blogs, but that is so not the case with me. I like a nice peaceful life, so when hubby gets upset I respond accordingly.

    What women do you guys deal with that like turmoil? Be careful not to paint us all with the same brush.

  12. Athol Kay says:

    Lainey – it may not be the case with you, Jennifer is low drama as well. However it's a pretty standard problem men have to deal with their wives.

    You seriously don't know women that can turn a molehill into a mountain just to be the center of attention? Imagine living with that…

  13. Lainey says:

    "You seriously don't know women that can turn a molehill into a mountain just to be the center of attention? Imagine living with that… "

    Sure. I try to avoid them. I do have teenage daughters and oh, the drama! So yes, in that case I remain calm at all times. Emotion only feeds the drama.

    Okay, why would a guy want to go out with a girl with so much drama?

  14. Athol Kay says:

    "Okay, why would a guy want to go out with a girl with so much drama?"

    The sex is usually good.

  15. Lainey says:

    "The sex is usually good."

    That's what I thought. You guys are so single-minded. LOL

  16. Anonymous says:

    The husband has yet to figure out the 'cats repeat anything that gets them a reward' concept. They prance across his head every night, sometimes he grumbles and bitches, sometimes he pets them. He has yet to understand that a single reward of this behavior undermines every time he asks them NOT to do this. He wakes most mornings to complain that X cat did whatever annoying thing all night……sometimes making this statement while he pets and loves on them doing the exact behavior he did not want all night. Meanwhile I sleep a foot from him and have not had a cat on my head in 10 years, they sleep at my feet quietly, get up only when I get up, and turn in when I turn in like clockwork every day. Must be magic.

    This would be why I bought the book. Maybe someone else can get through to him because after 15 years the animals in the house understand behavior modification better then he does. I am currently using positive reinforcement to try and get him to actually READ it now.

  17. Anonymous says:

    How can it be a good cat, when it's bastard well still breathing? The only good moggies are dead moggies.

  18. Badger says:

    "Sure. I try to avoid them. I do have teenage daughters and oh, the drama! So yes, in that case I remain calm at all times. Emotion only feeds the drama.

    Okay, why would a guy want to go out with a girl with so much drama?"

    Lainey, it's not always that simple. Many men have married sweet and kind women only to see them turn into sex-free, fitness-testing harpies. Athol's whole site is based around the premise that much of this change is not in the wife's character but in the attractiveness and core value of the husband.

    Super bitches can be spotted a mile away, but they are also probably not going to MAPped into cooperation. Caveat emptor to a guy who wants to put a ring on that. Athol's bread and butter is preventing your previously-decent wife from turning in that direction.

  19. Anonymous says:

    "Many men have married sweet and kind women only to see them turn into sex-free, fitness-testing harpies."

    Was thinking I shoulda had a pre-nuptial around that…

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