Everyone has good days and bad days in a relationship, so not every day or week will go wonderfully in your marriage. Bad moods can come and go. However bad moods, changes in behavior or general wierdness shouldn’t go on and on without explanation or investigation.
I’m still somewhat reading the Talk About Marriage forum but commenting less and less. I’m just getting frustrated with the near constant issue of variations on the theme of, “My wife has been cranky with me for no reason that I understand and going out with her newly divorced girlfriend a lot. This has been going on for the last two years. How do I reconnect with her?”
Regular MMSL readers will already be facepalming and groaning. Dude, did you not see the signs?
And yes, almost always the problem is that an affair of some sort has been going on for the last two years. Which generally means the poster is screwed with an enormously difficult situation to resolve. The biggest aspect of his failure is simply a failure to do anything to understand the situation. Nearly any other reaction would have been better than simply doing nothing and hoping her attitude would change toward him.
A wife’s affair at the two year mark is usually deeply physical and emotionally intense with the lover, and coupled with a very shallow connection to the husband. But at the two week mark, an affair is usually only at the flirting level with inappropriate texts, emails and phone calls. That’s vastly easier to head off and resolve things.
It may not even be cheating either. It can be any number of potentially relationship breaking problems that cause your spouse to get strange on you.
So the rule is simple…
Anytime you notice your partner being usually moody, odd, avoidant or devious with you, never let it go on more than two weeks without getting to the bottom of it.