Loss of FaceBook

Once the state of the marriage being not so good is announced on Facebook, it’s usually just a recruiting attempt for moral support to start pulling the trigger on the other spouse. This is a large Fitness Test.
If the relationship status gets changed to “It’s Complicated”, it’s not complicated at all. It’s usually a recruiting attempt for a new sex partner or announcement of the existence of one. Huge huge Fitness Test.
If they suddenly punt all your friends and you from being Facebook friends and throw down the “blocked” smackdown… the clock is ticking on something very very bad for you.
If they announce their new lover on Facebook and post pics of them together, it’s a scorched earth approach to ensure that you can never have a relationship with them again, without you suffering a total loss of face. This isn’t a Fitness Test, this is pure unbridled seething contempt. It’s intended to destroy you.
So once you see any of this early stuff happening, you need to act very quickly and firmly to stop it in it’s tracks. I’d suggest a very blunt and immediate reply of, “We can do this in counseling, or we can do this in court, but we will not be doing this on Facebook.”


  1. Hell, that's not a fitness test..that's simply DONE.

  2. And there's a HUGE difference between this happening while you are legitimately married (file now, fool, it's over) and it happening after papers have been filed. In the latter, just walk away. If this is happening, specifically the blocking, it means you're not accepting reality and potentially making an ass of yourself.

    The whole "it's complicated" status only serves the purpose of creating drama. Either you're legally married, in the process of divorce, or you're not married.

  3. Puddin' Tame says:

    "…but we are definitely *not* doing it on Facebook."
    Umm…I'm not certain what kind of partnerships you think exist out there…and, I'm not active on SpaceFace, anyway…but, trust me on this one, if I went far enough to do any of the scurrilous things you mentioned in today's entry, I don't think I'm going to be abashed when she steps in with matronly disapproval and a one-liner of an ultimatum.
    FACT: If I've pulled away enough to be doing SpaceFace relationship tricks, then, I suggest she find another place to live. Court costs are on me.

Speak Your Mind