Athol – I am curious. Is there no line where the husband’s hopes become unrealistic? For example, is it fair for him to be working up to 7 x per week, thinking that if she doesn’t get there with him he is justified in putting on the heat (implying divorce)?
Only the captain decides? Is 14 x per week asking too much? : )
The issue is usually that the husband is missing a certain sexual element they want, and believe simply getting more sex will meet that need. Somehow.
The husband that wants her to initiate for example will never be truly happy with simply more sex that he has to start. Even if it’s a lot more sex. He can get sex every day and twice on Sunday and still feel sexually unhappy.
It’s essentially the Vitamin D vs Vitamin S thing I mentioned in a post earlier in the week. Or sometimes it’s something a little kinky and unusual… Vitamin K! For example I do enjoy prostate stimulation, but not all that often, maybe eight times a year. Once I get it, I don’t tend to focus on it or think about it much at all. But if Jennifer was never up for doing it, I’d start craving it and getting frustrated by not getting it.
I think a large part of the problem is that most men don’t even have the language to explain what they want sexually beyond “I want her to initiate” and then they usually constantly ask her for sex so she never even gets a chance to initiate. Once they realize what they actually want is not her so much to initiate, but to be active during sex and dominant, it becomes a little easier to express and get something you want.
A very simple way of making her be active during sex is for you to be tied up during sex. This can be as complex as you want with handcuffs, ropes and suddenly realizing that the collars that are sold in the adult store are in fact cheaper and more comfortable from the pet store. Or it can be as simple as lying on your back and “not being allowed” to let go of a scarf threaded through the lattice in the headboard. Once you are tied, you are “forced” into a passive role, which then “forces” her into an active one. She can tease and toy with you and get to set the pace she wants. Just try it together.
The other easy move is to be blindfolded. Once again this forces you into being passive, and therefore her into being active. But you can still initiate wearing the blindfold, or being tied up for a night, and yet getting the sense of her being active anyway.
For most men the starting point is getting a baseline 2-3 times a week of Vitamin D to keep her vagina topped up with his sperm before they can relax and feel like a rational human being. But like I said earlier, if what you then want is Vitamin S or Vitamin K, getting a dozen more servings of Vitamin D isn’t going to make you feel sexually fulfilled.