Tall Guy Game

Reader: I’m a 22 year old guy who has had struggles off and on with girls over the years.  Sometimes I’ve done well, other times not, but I have a few questions pertaining to height and personality and how they might affect attraction.  I’m 6’6″ tall, and have always felt self-conscious about it.  I’m also 240 pounds, and lean enough that you can see an ab outline, but not ripped, and have been told I have a good looking face w/ strong jawline.  The thing is, I have a naturally retiring personality.  Not a pushover in important matters, but I’m quiet, avoid confrontation, try to be polite, and don’t brag, boast, etc.  The other day I talked with one of my best friends about this, and he did mention that he was surprised on first meeting me that there seemed to be such a disconnect between my body and my personality.  So with this background, here are my questions:
-How should I try to deal with my height in attraction?  I know they say girls like tall guys, but not this tall!  Then when I put shoes on it gets even worse, and I feel a bit more like a circus freak than anything else.
Athol: It’s okay to be introverted, about half of women are too, but I think when you are physically imposing, there is an expectation that you will be socially imposing, and when you don’t immediately act that way, it gets you to a dismissal faster than you realize. So don’t worry about being edgy (whatever that is exactly), just be direct.  If you are interested in a girl, just say so upfront and cut to the chase a little quicker.
I also think you need to reframe the issue a little. The problem is not that you are too tall, the problem is that most women are too short. You should be the center of your frame and rather than waiting for women to disqualify you because you are tall, playfully disqualify them and ask them if they have a taller friend (or sister!). Do that in a playful and teasing manner.
In general though, any woman 5’10” or taller is going to want your attention because you can do something that 99% of the men she meets can’t do. You can make her feel feminine. She can actually wear heels with you. You can actually look down the front of her top. You could physically dominate her without it looking like a poodle trying to bang a great dane. Suddenly she feels girly instead of feeling like a baby giraffe tricked into wearing clogs.
Even then, I’m 6’0″ and Jennifer is 5’0″. By that range, anything 5’6″ or taller is in your striking distance. We use stairs as sex toys here. It’s really not a problem unless you make it one.
Oh and a takeaway line to use with a big grin.
“I’m not trying to look down your front at your spectacular breasts. I’m just very tall.” 


  1. Miles Anderson says:

    I'll second Athol on your not being too tall. I'm only 6'2" but throughout my life have had women say things like "I fit well under your arm", "I can wear heels with you", "you make me feel safe", etc. and with the ones I knew better occasionally heard them straight out say that they only dated guys taller then them. Of the traits women talk about and I believe I think height might be the most common. I had a GF that had a height fetish. I was at the bottom end of her acceptable spectrum. And she wasn't over 5'8". As a meta concern to maintaining your tall frame I'd say it sounds like you might lack some confidence. Maybe you hunch because of your height or just hang back. Lead with your hips, cultivate a shit eating grin, and play to your introversion by observing, talking less frequently, more directly, and hopefully with more insight. Cultivate a wee bit of mystery. The geek in me is envisioning the transformation from Strider to Aragorn.

  2. haylestales says:

    as a 5'9 woman…i love tall men for the exact reasons Athol has mentioned. the freedom to be feminine.

    embrace it, reader.

  3. Dude, Women love tall men. Stand up and run with it.

  4. Being too tall is not about height but about your posture.
    Girls love tall guys. They don't like guys that carry themselves insecurely. Have strong body language and do not slouch.

    I am a 6'6" Dutch guy dating a 5'3" American girl and believe me, girls want tall guys. I'm going to America for the first time in a month and the attention I'll get will be good, pussy-wetting attention.

    I have talked about it with a lot of small girls and we all agree that masculine men (often tall) and feminine girls (often small) are attracted to each other. So your 'reach' is wherever you want it to be.

  5. Yup, tall girl here. I'm a hair under 5'10, and sturdily built. That equals spending most of my life feeling like Godzilla in lipstick. My female friends relate to me almost as a man, in that I'm always being asked to reach high things and carry heavy things. On the other side of things, short and average height male coworkers have told me that it makes them nervous when I wear heels.

    Big girls like me can relax around super tall men. Own your height and joke about how you like to be the first to know when it rains.

  6. My husband and I are both 5'9. I am lucky he is able to still present a very manly appearance when I am wearing shoes that make me taller than him. Because of my height I typically went for men at least 6 ft. BE proud! Use it to your total advantage!

  7. just visiting says:

    No such thing as too tall. (Unless you're really skinny and bony.) Use it to you're advantage.

  8. I am also tall and until recently had suffered from bad posture and low confidence projection.

    I wish someone had told me when I was 16 – "dude, chicks love height, stand tall and use it!"

    In addition to feeling people taught me to be unattractive to women by being super-beta, they also neglected to tell me what God gave me that was actually attractive.

  9. You are not too tall. Women are very crafty when they want to reject a guy in a "nice" way they only used what it was in front of them. 95% of women prefer guys taller than themselves.

    That being said you should try to hit on as many tall girls that you can. I'm not that tall 5' 8" but even I preferred men taller than me because I could wear heels without feeling self conscious most of my friends that date short men for other reasons abstain from heels, so you have a lot of potential on getting positive responses from tall girls with similar issues.

    I wish you luck with life and love.

  10. I am a 6'2'' division 1 volleyball player and I have a tough time finding dates taller than me. I would love someone of your height and would most likely seek you out :) I am very attractive, in shape, been told I look like Kate Winslet, yet can't find tall men….What to do? Keep looking I guess…

  11. i strongly advise to have sex before engagement

  12. Anon 9:17:

    "I am very attractive, in shape, been told I look like Kate Winslet, yet can't find tall men….What to do? Keep looking I guess…"

    My email address is on my blog… :-o

  13. Sometimes I get really angry at "problems" like this. As a 5'4" tall man, that have to struggle with the issues of being a short man, the lack of woman interest in it etc, so it is really annoying to see someone tall like this complaining over it.

    Of course, there is really no need for being angry over this, but sometimes I can't help it. if you don't want to be this tall, do you want to trade with me?

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