Reader: I’m a 22 year old guy who has had struggles off and on with girls over the years. Sometimes I’ve done well, other times not, but I have a few questions pertaining to height and personality and how they might affect attraction. I’m 6’6″ tall, and have always felt self-conscious about it. I’m also 240 pounds, and lean enough that you can see an ab outline, but not ripped, and have been told I have a good looking face w/ strong jawline. The thing is, I have a naturally retiring personality. Not a pushover in important matters, but I’m quiet, avoid confrontation, try to be polite, and don’t brag, boast, etc. The other day I talked with one of my best friends about this, and he did mention that he was surprised on first meeting me that there seemed to be such a disconnect between my body and my personality. So with this background, here are my questions:
-How should I try to deal with my height in attraction? I know they say girls like tall guys, but not this tall! Then when I put shoes on it gets even worse, and I feel a bit more like a circus freak than anything else.
Athol: It’s okay to be introverted, about half of women are too, but I think when you are physically imposing, there is an expectation that you will be socially imposing, and when you don’t immediately act that way, it gets you to a dismissal faster than you realize. So don’t worry about being edgy (whatever that is exactly), just be direct. If you are interested in a girl, just say so upfront and cut to the chase a little quicker.
I also think you need to reframe the issue a little. The problem is not that you are too tall, the problem is that most women are too short. You should be the center of your frame and rather than waiting for women to disqualify you because you are tall, playfully disqualify them and ask them if they have a taller friend (or sister!). Do that in a playful and teasing manner.
In general though, any woman 5’10” or taller is going to want your attention because you can do something that 99% of the men she meets can’t do. You can make her feel feminine. She can actually wear heels with you. You can actually look down the front of her top. You could physically dominate her without it looking like a poodle trying to bang a great dane. Suddenly she feels girly instead of feeling like a baby giraffe tricked into wearing clogs.
Even then, I’m 6’0″ and Jennifer is 5’0″. By that range, anything 5’6″ or taller is in your striking distance. We use stairs as sex toys here. It’s really not a problem unless you make it one.
Oh and a takeaway line to use with a big grin.
“I’m not trying to look down your front at your spectacular breasts. I’m just very tall.”