Testosterone that most male of hormones, takes a dive after a man becomes a parent. And the more he gets involved in caring for his children — changing diapers, jiggling the boy or girl on his knee, reading “Goodnight Moon” for the umpteenth time — the lower his testosterone drops.
Scientists say this suggests a biological trade-off, with high testosterone helping secure a mate, but reduced testosterone better for sustaining family life.
The lowering of their testosterone did not prevent the men in the study from having more children. “You don’t need a lot of testosterone to have libido,” Dr. Kuzawa said.
“If guys are worried about basically, ‘Am I going to remain a guy?’ ” Dr. Worthman said, “we’re not talking about changes that are going to take testosterone outside the range of having hairy chests, deep voices and big muscles and sperm counts. These are more subtle effects.”
Testosterone does a boat-load of different things for males, so a drop in testosterone doesn’t automatically mean your penis suddenly turns into a vagina. It can simply cut back on a few areas that testosterone was used for.
There’s also a step down in testosterone after getting married as well. So marriage and then fatherhood is two steps down in testosterone.
My hunch is that a lot of the risk-taking and aggression elements in men reduce on getting married and then becoming fathers. Essentially risky behavior is aimed at finding and winning a mate, and then once you have a mate, you body plays a more conservative strategy and calms you down and makes you more responsible. It’s one thing to do some exciting dangerous crap to make the girls squeal and pay attention to you. It’s another thing to do that when you have pussy waiting at home.
However I would tag testosterone as far more associated with the Alpha Traits than the Beta Traits. So a drop in testosterone can indeed lead to an unconscious drop in Alpha behavior. Then once you add kids into the mix, you tend to need to play more of a comfort role and thus you natural attend to the Beta Traits. Along the way that Alpha drop and Beta gain turns into full fledged Betaization.
The solution is to be conscious of what is happening. You don’t need to have an overload of testosterone to consciously pay attention to doing some Alpha stuff. If you find yourself hooked on watching the Knitting Channel, maybe it’s time to break it up a little and find a channel with monster trucks, naked tits and needlessly large explosions with minimal plot development.
By all means do the Beta Traits, you have to if she is going to be comfortable with being in a relationship with you. Just pay conscious attention to having some male interests and not folding up and bowing to her every whim.
However if you do have very low testosterone, read over Hypogonadism and see if that’s you. If so, off to the doctor, you can’t game a medical condition away.