Why Brad Pitt is With Angelina Jolie and Not Jennifer Aniston

Reader Question: Hi Athol, What do you think is the story behind the media’s obsession with the Brad Pitt/Aniston/Angelina Jolie “love triangle”? I mean, the split between Pitt and Aniston happened six or seven years ago, didn’t it? And many other celebrity couples have split or cheated on each other, etc. Why the peculiar fascination with this triad?
Here are my best guesses:
(1) Angelina Jolie’s sex rank was (and is?) much higher than Aniston’s, but Aniston was beloved by many women from being on Friends. So a lot of women identified with seeing Aniston get dumped for a prettier woman–which is a deep insecurity/fear for a lot of women.
(2) Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are a “super-couple” looks-wise. It’s easy to forget it today, but when they were in their 20s they were both gorgeous and highly desirable. So the fascination with them and their kids springs partly from that, but it’s conflicted (see #1).
(3) Brad may be good-looking, but he does sometimes come across as a bit of a beta, at least in relationships. So maybe this is a sort of surrogate for an experience that most women will never have: competing over a good-looking, wealthy beta and standing a chance?
I don’t really know, but I saw one of those tabloids in the grocery store today and it made me wonder. That’s all.
Athol:  On one hand, seriously who gives a crap about tabloid nonsense. Jennifer (as in my Jennifer) and I had a minor brush with them a few months back, and I can assure you that all that matters to them is story fodder to draw more eyes and get to sell more advertising. On the other hand, this does make an interesting puzzle to play, and I’m up for the challenge.
Firstly, let’s just call both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie a 10 in their prime and be done with it. Far too many guys have this crazy need to act like Mrs Battleaxe grading term papers and never giving anything better than a B+ because “there’s always room for improvement”. They are both rich and hot, and in their prime, definitely 10s. So that angle to me is a wash.
But that being said, they do have some critical differences that swing the scales to Angelina, that make Brad’s choice the logical one.
Jennifer Aniston comes off as a “good girl” and possibly in need of fresh sheets on the bed to be able to come to orgasm. Well okay, maybe that’s a bit much, I was saving that line for a Martha Stewart joke and got tired of waiting. Anyway… Angelina Jolie comes off as a fair bit slutty and into having sex. When she was married to Billy Bob Thornton she used to have a vial of his blood in a necklace – I think once bodily fluids become jewelry for a chick, anal is actively ruled in. Plus the tattoos are a fairly good sign of brazen sexuality too. Jennifer Aniston did get that whole cult following of women getting their hair cut in “The Rachel”, but guys didn’t give a toss about it. Angelina Jolie was Lara Croft for crying out loud, so guys care about that seeing polygon count was involved.
So while I have no hard proof, my hunch is Angelina is the better one in the sack. But that in and of itself probably isn’t enough to make a guy jump ship from Jennifer to Angelina. Hit it on the side once in a while sure, but not divorce the good girl.
Once you start looking at their ages though, it gets more interesting… the switch went down in 2005…
Bratt Pitt (1963), age now is 47 and age in 2005 was 41.
Jennifer Aniston (1969), age now is 42 and age in 2005 was 36.
Angelina Jolie (1975), age now is 35 and in 2005 was 29.
The difference between a 36 year old woman and a 29 year old woman is huge in terms of fertility… and thus sexiness. Remember the rule that “what is sexy is what is good for making and raising babies”. Once a woman is 36 she is really starting to get into the realm of having a hard time getting pregnant and increasing her risks for birth defects. A 29 year old is going to have a much easier time of it.
Also there have been rumors yada yada yada that Jennifer lost not one, but two of Brad’s babies in 2003 and 2004. So if that is true, it’s very definitely a non-hopeful thing to succeed on a third attempt. She may just have not wanted kids, but the general scuttlebutt is that she is infertile and no matter how you slice it, she’s now 42 and childless.
Angelina on the other hand was already adopting children and showing heavy duty interest in kids before she started with Brad in 2005. If he wanted children, that would have been a potentially quite positive pull on him. Since then they have had three biological children together and have three adopted children. So on the children front, Angelina owns Jennifer completely.
So there you have it, Angelina just comes off as the better choice every which way, kinky in bed, younger and more fertile. If women in the general public were unhappy with Jennifer Aniston getting dumped by Brad, it’s kind of understandable in that Jennifer Aniston comes across as the good girl, and in this case there were no rewards for being good. So it does seem unfair. Especially unfair if the issue was infertility and miscarriages that were the real wedge between them.
But Sex Rank and Body Agenda have little concern for what is fair. As far as Body Agenda is concerned, Brad Pitt did exactly the right thing in switching to Angelina Jolie. Three biological children for the win. Game, Set, Match.
And yeah… Brad Pitt does seem to be dragged all over creation on Angelina Jolie’s leash doesn’t he, so he does seem awfully Beta and heading for a bad ending. But then again, the tabloids aren’t likely to have a fair shake for the man seeing they are purchased primarily by women. When Inside Edition interviewed us back in May, I had about twenty questions and answers about Alpha and Beta, and (my)Jennifer had about four of them. The final cut had her answering four questions and me a single one… and a Beta one at that.
See how that works?
 

Comments

  1. From observing Pitt in interviews and movie commentaries, I am well assured that he is an alpha. Not alpha in the sense of "AMOG", but alpha in the sense of "I easily win over chicks and I am in control of my reality". Which to me, is more efficient.

    And yea, he made the honest move when he went over to Jolie. Anyone who thinks Aniston is a better bargain is delusional.

  2. Aniston is aging better the Jolie. Aniston is aging so well that she really is a genetic freak. She's prettier now than Angelina is. But, yea, Brad made the better evolitionary decision.

    doug

  3. Maybe it's just me, but Jolie has always been a 9-10 in my book, where Aniston has never been above a 7.

  4. Good post. I'm still not sure why the media is obsessed with *them* and not some other couple, though. But, like you said, who care?

  5. Looking Glass says:

    I remember seeing an explanation for the fascination with the story in the weekly rags. It pretty much came down to that "Brad + Jennifer" was the "perfect" Hollywood couple. Angelina ended up being the perfect home wrecker. So the story line hit perfectly for their type, and they've harvested 6 years out of it. (Which is good business, really)

    As for Aniston, there's always been a vibe of "ballbustery" to her. Not sure why. Seems nice, but there's never been much of a hint of sultry in her acting. That's probably a lot of it. She has her type of role and she sticks to it. Angelina Jolie has an Oscar from a film about gender confusion. Leaves very different perceptions. And she had a role being a badass (plus partially naked) and saving James Bond's life. What's not to like?

    And I don't think it's just Aniston's acting roles, for that whole view. Aubrey Hepburn played wonderful characters, but she had sultry down to a T. Even in a horrible Cockney accent. There's just something to Aniston's public persona that comes off as odd, at least to a guy.

  6. Looking Glass says:

    Oh yeah, if Aniston did have 2 miscarriages, it's possible those events simply blew up the marriage in the first place. It's fairly common for the death of a living child to cause a divorce. The trauma (and seeing the child's face each time you look at the other spouse) is intense and really does destroy all but the best of relationships. That's not something to be discounted. The relationship could have already been over.

    Then when Pitt & Jolie worked together (and they had great chemistry in that film, btw!), it just became opportunistic for both of them. Yeah, don't really approve, but can fully understand why it would happen.

    Though I do find it really interesting how Jolie is going the Mia Farrow route with adopting most of a 3rd world country. Always find that a little interesting, haha.

  7. Looking Glass says:

    One last thing for tonight:

    Athol, you really should review Mr. & Mrs. Smith (the Pitt/Jolie movie where they had the affair). The framing device for the movie is the married couple, living the ideal life, isn't having sex and they're barely communicating. The counseling sessions are what bookend the movie, with some hilarious little jokes in them. I thought it would fit right up your alley. The whole thing, as far as the framing device, always made a lot of sense, and it makes so much more after your work. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

  8. Can't stand celebrity worship, and I couldn't care less* about any of them, but… I really want to know what planet these people live on where Jennifer Anniston is a 7.

    I don't know the specifics of their relationships. But all things being equal (and assuming I had my pick of unobtainable women), I'd certainly take Jolie for a romp in the sack, but Anniston is far better LTR material, IMO.

    Yes, Jolie has her brood she carts around with her, but those kids seem more like accessories to her fame than actual children she loves and cares about. Mommy Dearest, anyone?

    *It's a colloquialism

  9. Again, only from the tabloids and gossip rags: It's said that Pitt likes really kinky stuff, like being dominated by a woman in leather. Jolie was very comfortable in that role and supposedly shopped for toys, costumes, etc., as part of her seduction.

    I have a friend who's a foot fetishist, and the first girlfriend he had who would enthusiastically play along, got the ring.

    One thing you didn't address was that Jolie is nothing close to virginal and makes no such pretense. She was a woman who'd been around the block with a lot of men and women. Doesn't the manosphere tell us that men are repulsed by this sort of thing?

  10. The obsession is among women. (To the extent men are interested, it's in figuring out a way to emulate Brad Pitt.)

    And the obsession comes from the fact that Aniston is an icon for the classic suburban regular girl. That's what she plays in all the romantic comedies. Look at her primary TV role — shallow but wants to be less so, interested in shopping, shoes, etc. This is the same demographic that buys tabloids and celebrity magazines.

    Jolie plays up the batshit crazy sex freak angle. Broken home, Hollywood dad, etc. Played a crazy girl more than once. She met Billy Bob on the set of a bad movie where she played the role of the crazy-sexpot wife who didn't fit in among the other suburban wife/moms. This character was introduced by listlessly walking through a grocery store in a leather tits-out outfit, sobbing about something. The other suburban wives took an immediate hostile stance. She's been playing that role ever since.

    It's a cartoonish scenario — pretty suburban girl versus dark vamp — but then again, all stereotypes are true to an extent.

  11. It may be that Angelina is really Brad's Jennifer – I mean Athol's Jennifer – wait, what?

    Billy Bob told Esquire several years ago that sex with Angelina was like screwing the sofa. When trying to find that quote I found this from Angelina when explaining some of the more odd things she and Billy Bob did: "I wanted him to feel good. I believe that's something that you do. That's something a wife would do, for … to or for her husband."

    So if anything you read about celebrities (or coming from celebrities) is to be believed, it may be that Angelina's quite submissive. If Anon @9:33 is right, she's also willing to give Brad his vitamin K.

    So, Angelina is Brad's Jennifer, and Jennifer is Athol's Angelina. That's clear, isn't it?

    SW-AL

  12. My sense of the whole thing was chalked up to two items: Aniston's inability to have children (or want them) and also the fact that she's been through a bunch of relationships now. Angelina obviously didn't have problems with either. There ya go.

  13. Don't know if this was said, as I haven't read all the comments, but I heard on the radio on the drive to work this morning that Brad was quoted in a magazine as complaining that he was beginning to feel like a real loser in his relationship with Jennifer. He didn't say specifically that she caused him to feel like a loser, but he did suggest that the marriage *might* have been the problem – whatever that means – and that he found himself spending all his time hanging out on the couch, smoking blunts, etc. He said he now puts himself first in his relationship with Angelina – his own satisfaction, what he wants, what he needs. I'll leave it to each person to decide whether this is an evolution or a devolution in his character and agenda.

    Now, I feel bad for Jennifer, real bad, but there were three people talking on the radio today, two men and a woman, and of course the woman was really on Brad for even mentioning his marriage. And while I see her point, I was like – "You know, women do this all the time – complain about their marriages and how their ex-husbands hampered their precious 'self-fulfillment'. When that happens, no one bats an eyelash. Now a guy does it and you're all over it. Do you see how it feels now? Maybe the ladies can lay off a bit and… grow up."

    This coming from a guy who otherwise does NOT give a shit about the lives of celebrities! lol

  14. Also, Jennifer Aniston had this to say on marriage, men, and children at some point in the not-so-distant past… perhaps fueled in part by her travails with Brad Pitt…

    "Women are realizing it more and more knowing that they don’t have to settle with a man just to have that child. Times have changed and that is also what is amazing is that we do have so many options these days, as opposed to our parents’ days when you can’t have children because you have waited too long."

    http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20408849,00.html

  15. I don't care much for tattoos, crazy, or Jolie. Never saw the attraction myself, except when she played Gia. Anyway, I would take Aniston in a heartbeat, having already had kids. I thought about phoning her up when I was single, but got busy with all the other women I was dating.

  16. To me Angelina Jolie looks very masculine and a lot or most of the celebrities and models that are considered specifically sexy as oposed to just beutifull, hot, cute etc. look masculine to me. THey often seem to have faces that to me imply they are risk takers and like danger which I take as a sign of high testosterone levels. This has made me wonder if men actually prefer hot masculine women for casual sex as oposed to hot feminine women for casual sex, at least of the type that looks like very sexual danger seekers such as angelina, Michelle Rodrigues and Megan Fox, only that this is not as apparent to people as womens preference for high testosterone men for casual sex because for men the primary drive would be sex with ANY hot women. Having casual sex with masculine women would have a couple of advantages. Women with high testosterone levels more often have sons so should would likely give birth to an alpha son and he would have better odds at spreading his seed than a feminine woman would producing babies. Although a feminine woman would make a better mother a masculine woman would be far more able to manage by herself without the suport of a man. THis would certainly be the case on the savanah and is proovenly the case in work life today where it is the masculine women who excell career wise.

  17. It seems to me that Mr Athol's (ahem) argument runs thusly:

    *) Jolie is probably into anal non-sex, whereas Aniston comes across as probably not … thus, Jolie is "sexier";

    *) at the time of the switch, Aniston was 36 and Jolie was 29 … thus, Jolie was by trustworthy implication, significantly more fertile, and thus "sexier", than Aniston; for "what is sexy is what is good for making and raising babies".

    Ergo) Jolie wins the majority of mate-ability points, and is it thus logical and rational to leave Aniston for Jolie (and, after all, there will always be a younger one after Jolie).

    ===
    However, anal non-sex is not about "making babies", much less about rearing them; it is about using a woman as a sterile cum-dump. Hell! why not just shit in your hand and masturbate with that?

    "Game" is about the "sexiness" of using, and justifying using, women as sterile cum-dumps and masturbation machines (with anal non-sex and exemplar) and not at all about the sexiness of real sex … and much less is it about the decidedly un-sexy facts of life of making a life together as man and wife.

  18. Llion – I wrote a one liner about anal. You wrote a whole rant about it. Look within.

  19. Can anybody make heads or tails out of Ilion's argument?

  20. An alpha male is a man who is not merely one dimensional. Any male who gets married simply so he can have more sex is obviously a one dimensional male and certainly can not be considered an alpha. A man with a 13 year old boy's mentality about sex is not considered alpha material.

    As for anal sex, Ilion speaks the truth and the truth hurts.

  21. Again, it's required to have a bit of a sense of humor in reading here.

  22. "I wrote a one liner about anal. You wrote a whole rant about it. Look within."

    This worthless comment is all that I, or anyone, needs to know about you.

  23. Then why are you here?

  24. Looking Glass says:

    Ilion, your writing sucks. You aren't that smart. Sorry to inform you. That's the take away.

  25. @Ilion, anal is about rearing the woman. Duh.

  26. "anal is about rearing the woman."

    Does this have some special meaning in a dialect / idiom I don't know, or is it merely an excruciatingly bad pun?

  27. im so scared, someone please tell me marriage isnt as bad as all you are making it out to be. Now i see why kurt said nevermind, and blew his brains out

  28. Obviously Pitt went with Angelina Jolie because of her younger age, although there probably is more to it than just that. He could have scored a woman far more attractive than Jolie, although he probably saw that Aniston was aging and got bored with her. I think that Aniston was pretty stupid for not settling for some other decent man after Pitt left her so that she could have kids (unless she really is infertile).

    I wonder when Pitt will tire of Jolie and dump her?

  29. Jen wasn't ready for kids, brad was. [this has been talked about lots of times] I think he left her bcos of that plus he said he felt quote "like a loser" so then Angie comes along and she is/was gorgeous and exciting and wants kids. If you see brad now he's always traveling/ on his motocycle etc Angie brings out his daring side/ lets him be himself. Although angie isn't very fem in the body department [i've googled her] Her face is pretty and men marry for face [mostly] and body for short term sex.

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