Ted said (answering Lainey) – I fully admit that my anger is my issue to resolve. And I don’t use it as an excuse to treat people badly. But I think you truly underestimate the anguish taking the red pill can cause. Many of the guys here have been treated badly. Some are in relationships going sour, and some like myself found this site after years of living in misery followed by divorce. I lucked out because my ex is actually a good person,and we did not split hating and resenting each other. However I am a rare case, and every other man I know got royally screwed in court during their divorce.
Now imagine one of those men coming here and learning that the reason they got screwed was because they were fed a bunch of bull from an early age. I often feel like I was setup to fail by the people I love and trusted as a child and young adult. So yeah, I have some anger to work through. I’m glad you feel a bit of empathy for men like me, but I truly don’t think you understand how traumatic all this can be.
Athol: This is an important point to discuss and I take a purposely different approach than most everywhere else in the Manosphere on this issue.
Ted is right. There are genuine reasons to feel rage about these things. There is often little reason for the rage to ever fade either. Plus I get that being happily married with a good sex life is like rubbing salt into open wounds for many.
I’ve also been told in no uncertain terms several dozen times in comments and via email that I have no idea how bad the pain is about getting divorced or having your children removed from you without just cause. A tiny handful of those one sided conversations have been quite nasty. I’ve thus avoided writing on “Men’s Rights” as much as possible. I always knew I was going to pull some hate, but I thought it would be feminists doing the screaming.
That being said, I believe mindless venting of that justifiable rage, can frequently damage the cause we seek to address.
When a Blue Pill Nice Guy with a serious relationship problem comes stumbling into the Manosphere looking for answers, he comes with a pro-female mindset. After coming across variants of “All women are devious whores!” a few dozen times – something possible in the comments of a single post on some blogs – he can easily become repulsed and move on in his search for truth. Then we call him a Mangina for good measure. We do this because insults make other people listen better and consider our viewpoint.
Likewise, sympathetic women reading the same venom quickly become unsympathetic women. At some point we’re going to want some things to go to a vote and there are more women than men that can vote. Therefore we need the support of women to at least some degree.
So I see my role in the Manosphere as a diplomatic outpost. Some people start here and then explore the rest of the Manosphere. Some people start elsewhere in the Manosphere and get directed here after being jilted by what they first discover. Me being happily married, having a great sex life and generally being a quirky Vulcan makes MMSL taste like… root beer.
Just there’s no yelling in diplomacy. That’s probably a rule somewhere.
There is good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.