Perhaps my all time favorite comment on the blog…
Ian Ironwood has left a new comment on your post “Beta Orbiters Don’t Ever Understand “No” Unless It’s Cruelly Spoken“
I got into someone’s orbit, once, back in the Blue Pill days. I did all sorts of things for her, treated her nicely, waited patiently while she ended a relationship, undertook a lot of responsibilities for her. And then, at a critical moment, I made my Move. She was shocked. She was offended. She rejected me good and hard, told me that we would only be friends at best, that “I wasn’t her type.” She was kind of brutal about it, as if the very idea of me dating “out of my class” was ludicrous.
So I walked away. I quit calling her. I found distraction. I quit answering her calls. I got angry with her, then objectified her, and I completely severed any ties with her. Since we had a common group of friends (we were undergraduates) the group ended up shattering when I quit attending functions, and our friends wanted to know why. She blamed me for getting mad, blamed me for upsetting the group and starting a fight with her friends, and blamed me that I wouldn’t “just be friends” and keep coming to her study group.
And you know what? I survived. Not only survived, it was the first real taste of “red pill” I’d ever had. I felt powerful, if wounded, and even though I was angry at her, I was able to turn it into something much more productive.
And do you know what else? Without my help she couldn’t complete two key papers she needed to graduate, she failed, and she flunked out of school. According to mutual friends she’s now divorced and hideously fat in Seattle, her life having taken some unfortunate turns since she failed out of college.
Was it her “fault” that I liked her and she didn’t like me back? Perhaps not. Nor was it mine. Was it her “fault” that she flirted with me in the first place to get my help in a class she was struggling with, knowing she wasn’t interested in me? Perhaps not. Nor was it mine. Was it my “fault” that I withheld assistance she was counting on to not fail out of a $40,000 a year private university, because I was embittered over her rejection? Perhaps not. I could have gone over at the eleventh hour, helped her out, gotten her through her crisis and got her to graduate, but honestly once she rejected me, I didn’t see that as a compelling course of action.
Several lessons were learned, among them: don’t flirt with a nerd unless you mean it, ladies.
Athol: The beauty of this is it’s a revenge story, but Ian did nothing that was actually causing her suffering. He just ended his above and beyond assistance and let natural consequences take it’s course. He was under no obligation to run her through college at all. She wanted something for nothing and that’s an unfair trade.
He could have done her papers for her, but after she was done pumping him for them, she would have dumped him.
Now imagine if he’d run her ass through college and actually managed to marry her… talk about your bag of sand to drag through life. Anytime you find yourself in a World of Warcraft guild where the guildmaster’s wife or girlfriend is an underperforming healer, just quit the guild. Trust me on that one.