Turning Beta Up To Eleven…

Jennifer and I are tired out. Yesterday was The Charity Event That Cannot Be Spoken Of and we’re beat, so talking the weekend kind of slow.
Everything went really well and as this is far more Jennifer’s show than I ever want it to be, I actually catered to her for the majority of the week leading up to it, and essentially as much as humanly possible on the day itself. Someone has to make her eat and drink or she’d pass out I think. So turned the Beta all the way up to eleven and massaged her feet once I finally got her home.
The best part of the night actually came from my eldest daughter texting me in response to my questioning if all was going well at home…
Eldest: I forget when are you home? I need to know if I have enough time to hide the body. Holes don’t dig themselves.
Which somewhat reminds me of the time my youngest – as a 5th grader no less – with big glassy eyes and twisted angelic smile, ended a discussion about stranger danger and getting into someone’s van, with… “But what if they have a puppy?”
I wonder where they get it from…
…oh yeah. Grin.
Jennifer was to be sure a real softy, but she’s gained an appreciation for a darker sense of humor over the years. Apparently both the girls were born with it too, though eldest runs a little darker than youngest. My sister is hands down the funniest woman I’ve ever met my whole life, such perfect understatement in her delivery. Youngest does the same style as my sister. Dad was very funny too, and my writing style on the blog is very similar to his not-at-work writing. So we have this whole family lineage of humor going on. Jennifer’s family is very short.
Anyway, I occasionally get concerned emails and comments from people worried about my poor sexually harassed and brutalized Jennifer. My suggestion is not to worry about her, she’s fine. She gets snacks, naps, orgasms and spends a lot of her time at home laughing hysterically. She likes it here.
 Here’s a video she picked out that perhaps explains things better…
And besides, massaging her feet pretty much covers up any weakness in my Game. It’s like her version of a Scooby Snack….


  1. Looking Glass says:

    Tim really is brilliant.

  2. Anonymous says:


    Well done to the Kiwi's in making it to the World Cup Final, you should be red hot favourites to beat the French.


    Depressed Wallaby

  3. Was closer than the scoreline suggests. Australia so close to that try early on. Would have made a huge difference.

    France only beats Wales playing with 14 men and unfortunate kicking by a single point.

    Honestly apart from the Australia game the whole thing looks like the World Cup gets handed to NZ on a silver platter. Very easy run to the final.

    Well here's hoping anyway. My luck is so frakking awful with paying attention to rugby that I always make a point of cheering for Australia these days.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Tsk tsk, you need to tell Eldest that hiding bodies is Daddy's specialty. Especially when they're boys that try to cross the line with Eldest.


  1. […] Not Be Spoken Of. TCETSNBSO. It’s an annual work drama-fest, and last years quick summary was Turning The Beta Up To Eleven. It’s kind of a five months of dread, two weeks of stress, two weeks of panic and a single […]

Speak Your Mind