Don’t Model Sexual Dysfunction

Reader comment on Church Lady and Orginial Sin.
Reader: Now, there is one slight technical matter I will address. I feel Athol’s description of semen buildup may be overstated. I am not a doctor, and can only speak from my experience. I have a very high drive, and masturbated near daily from puberty until just a few years ago. I had a desire to quit in my early 20s, as I could tell it interfered with having sex with my girlfriend. However, as I only saw her once a month (different city), it was simply too long in between, and I continued masturbating unabated. So far, this fits with Athol’s description.
However, around the time I joined the Church, I finally managed to quit. Since then, I am not having sex, I am not masturbating, but I have only had wet dreams very sporadically, with 6-8 month gaps. It is not like I am lacking in stimulation, as every weekday I am on a college campus full of attractive women in the 18-25 range, and I also see and touch (just hugs, kisses, and back massage, no sex) my fiance every day who I am very attracted to. So, to make a long story short, while infrequent sex with your husband will definitely increase the probability that he masturbates, it is not a physiological guarantee in the way Athol says.
Athol: I think you’re confusing a good thing, with potentially a quite bad thing. Masturbation is normal sexual behavior and designed to remove aging sperm from the male in order to allow room for fresh new sperm/semen.
What you’re essentially claiming is that your body no longer produces any particular volume of semen. Going 6-8 months between ejaculations is highly sexually dysfunctional, and while you see this is as a good thing, there may be an underlying medical issue at work that makes this feat even possible. Most men only having that level of sexual function, would be going to doctors to try and find a fix to the problem.
Like most things, the old saying of “use it, or lose it” applies to sexual fitness. You are laboring under the assumption that once you marry, your physical ability to have sex will return to a normal level of sexual function. It simply may not happen as you hope, or it may take a few years.
I can very much assure you that women react extremely poorly to male sexual dysfunction in their first few sexual encounters with a man. Wives dealing with a broken cock husband in the opening of the marriage, may simply not care to stick around for too long at worst, or have it set a tone of a negative sexual pattern that continues into the marriage.
I strongly recommend you find out if you are still capable of producing sperm of any volume and find out if you’re now also having a fertility issue as well. Not having night time ejaculations makes me curious as to if you have an orgasmic disorder as well, or simply a total lack of semen production.
My very strong advice to your fiance, would be to not marry you until she could be assured of your ability to return to normal sexual function.
Jennifer: Seriously. OMG.

Comments

  1. (Jennifer: wow. so much said in so little)

  2. You know, there's strangely little information around on this topic. I was curious and tried some Googling, but only found two relevant explanations (and couldn't cross-reference either):

    - Semen can drip down into the urethra and be flushed out from there, which may be good enough if not much is being produced
    - Like breast milk, semen is produced to meet demand. No demand, not much semen

    So our friend is not necessarily a role model, but he may not be entirely broken either.

  3. Anonymous 10:23, I was going to ask about actual research on this topic; thanks for summarizing the little that you found.

    Also, I was wondering about a follow-up post in which our hapless Reader can be advised about his choice between being impotent and sterile or committing a mortal sin (in his religion) through either masturbation or fornication.

    If Reader is starting to worry, I want to assure him that though my husband was 27 when we married, he was well able to perform the marital act, as well as to father our children. I admire your conviction in following your religion, though I don't practice one myself, and I wager it will bear fruit in more ways than one.

  4. —–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—–
    Hash: RIPEMD160

    Athol,

    I only intended my comment as a counterpoint to what I perceived as your
    exaggerated claim about the physiology involved. Although my moral views are
    obvious, I intentionally left them out of my description, since it was not
    relevant. I am happy with my choices, and am not looking for guidance on this
    issue. Nevertheless, since you have made a full post out of it, perhaps I will
    reply again after the marriage occurs so you can do a followup.

    All the best.
    —–BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE—–
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  5. Athol, if what you say is true, how come men who hve had vasectomies don't have goolies the size of coconuts? I mean, no sperm is coming out, is it?

  6. Cheezus.

    Sometimes I really wonder why you ┬┤mericans rag on the Islamists so much.

    They┬┤re virtually your mirror images, difference is they worship their women only at home and otherwise put a blanket on them.

    /(very hairy)facepalm

  7. Anon @3334
    The prostate and seminal vesicles are still doing their thing.

    to OP:
    Religion is stupid.

  8. alphapersona says:

    Jennifer's comments make me laugh every time.

  9. No wonder religions are involved in so many wars, the men are all so sexually frustrated and full of unused testosterone they feel the need to kill one another. ;~)

  10. Dude, seriously, see a doctor. My testosterone levels tanked for some reason early in my marriage. It took a while to figure out. Even though I'm OK now, it may have ruined my marriage. See a doctor!

  11. I was under the impression that semen not released via orgasm eventually comes out in your urine – retrograde ejaculation, for example.

  12. "to OP:
    Religion is stupid."

    As are blanket statements.

  13. File this under "Don't believe everything you read on the Internet". I mean come on Athol, you providea lot of good marital advice but perhaps you should let those that have more education than you handle the medical aspects of this. I know you're a nurse and all, but I think at least you should post a disclaimer. Or would that be too beta?

  14. To all the religion bashers… Seriously people?

    The OP tries to point out that Athol might not be the final authority on a physiological matter and all you have to say is that religion is stupid and dangerous. You may be right, but it has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

    The guy just said he is happy with his choices. He seems pretty well adjusted and is reading this blog so I am guessing he and his wife-to-be will do better than most in thier married sex life. Cheers to you OP.

  15. I agree, Adam.

    This post and the comments are a low blow. And yet Reader still has the aplomb to respond as a Christian and a gentleman. His fiancee is a lucky woman.

  16. Ian Ironwood says:

    @ OP: Regardless of your personal religious and spiritual dictates, the evacuation of your seminal vesicle on a regular basis is a good, healthy thing. Sure, you can go months or years or even a lifetime without ejaculating. You can also have your balls cut off in your youth and you can live out the rest of your days as a eunuch. That doesn't make either solution a "healthy" one, just one that the human body can tolerate. Whether or not it's sinful is up to your individual soul, of course, but I might point out that there are many, many religious deprivations designed to inspire or cause mystical and spiritual growth . . . but that doesn't mean they're good for you. Being celibate might not be up there with self-flagellation, extreme fasting or circumcision, but that doesn't mean you're doing your body any favors.

    @Anon 11:09: Do you have any idea just what a nurse has to learn — and continuously know — in order to do their job? The difference between an MD and a Nurse in terms of education is mostly a matter of specialization. Anyone who has worked in the medical field for any length of time understands this and knows that Nurses often have a far better understanding of the healing process and better clinical skills than doctors. And if a nurse has a particular interest — say in urology or reproductive biology — learning the deets from the respective specialists isn't hard. I'd say that considering I've read less-scientific explanations from credentialed sex therapists before makes Athol's medical insights here pretty valid. Waiting for endorsement from someone "with more education" is a crock. This is the 21st century. You don't need three degreed experts to come along and bless you before you can explore a scientific topic and do so thoroughly enough to gain a profound understanding. Nor are degrees any guarantee that the authority in question actually can discern his ass from his elbow. If you can find credible data countering Athol's statements, this is where you put it up. If you can't . . . then I suggest you lay off the condescension. Just sayin'.

    Lastly, to the religion bashers, I would say that not all religions are necessarily anti-sex and unhealthily counter-survival when it comes to reproduction and pleasure. That seems to be more of a thing for the Abrahamic religions and some of the more extremely conservative Hindu sects. Most of the other world religions are a lot less fussy about how you orgasm and where.

  17. Ian Ironwood says:

    @Polly: I don't consider this a "low blow". Far from it. Athol very graciously took up a dissenting viewpoint, applied his medical knowledge to it, and expounded upon it without making any moral judgements on the commenter. He expressed concerns over the health of the commenter in context of the discussion, nothing more.

    I'm eagerly waiting the commenter's follow-up post-wedding. I'd love to see how it plays out, long-term. In my experience, those couples who wait until marriage (especially if they have no other sexual experience) are just begging for a heap of problems later on.

  18. Ian Ironwood, it appears disingenuous to mention a specialty in urology. My understanding is that Athol gives personal care and dispenses psych meds to patients in a group home. If this is incorrect I apologize. But even if he is a researcher in urology or reproductive medicine, it would still be courteous to give citations so it does not look like he pulled this information out of his…er…hat.

  19. I HS health class we were told that sperm was reabsorbed into the body when not expelled. Seems like that function would have to be stepped up to account for no release over an extended period.

    Maybe the female teacher was just trying to spare all the girls from the boys using the blue-balls excuse.

  20. Polly, are you unfamiliar with google? Are you so lazy a thinker that you would rather type out multiple comments in a forum then one google query? A "how much semen produced per day" google search comes up with 12 million responses and the first three answers say about 5 ml. Which is 1 tsp. Dont be lazy. Google it.

    Or admit your real issue which is credentialism vs actual experience and applied knowledge.

  21. Strong Man says:

    Good summary. I'm with Athol on this–the research is plentiful and obvious–he doesn't need special credentials to make the statements he's making.

    And to committed, believing Christians–or people of all religious, might I remind you that you believe God created us.

    God created our testicles and created our bodily functions and intentionally set us up with a very pleasurable way to release semen–and a schedule that required it's regular release–with strong motives for that to release to happen inside a woman.

    Suggesting He doesn't want it to happen the way He designed it makes no sense.

  22. Am I the only one who thought Athol's response seemed unnecessarily harsh, even bordering on passive aggressive hostility?

    It is a fairly substantial claim to say if one chooses to stop ejaculating for extended periods of time they run the risk of developing long term sexual dysfunction. I've never heard that before and it doesn't make intuitive sense to me. As others here have mentioned, the body has ways of dealing with excess sperm production other than turning the testicles into watermelons. I think you should back up such significant claims with medical sources, especially if you are going to go as far as to recommend the guy's fiance hold off on marriage because of his choice.

  23. And for what it's worth, I think likening his choice to "modeling sexual dysfunction" is sort of like criticizing somebody for taking a mid-day nap because it's too much like "modeling a coma".

    Not trying to troll here, I just think this response is really reaching, and I can't figure out why Athol would have such a strong opinion about it that he'd recommend putting off a wedding.

  24. Agree with Eric – this seemed like a major overreaction out of a clear blue sky. OP isn't even remotely trying to tell anyone else to bottle up his semen, so there's no need to panic.

  25. I'm the 11:09 commenter and I stand by my comments. The condescending tone was a deliberate attempt to mirror Athol's condescending reply to the op. I'm no doctor (nor nurse of any type) but I'm with commenters here that Athol's comments don't pass the smell test. It's certainly not incumbent on any commenter to provide the research to disprove Athol's statements any more than Athol is required to. However,if Athol desires to continue to remain a trusted source in these maters then he might want to either leave these matters to trusted experts or site some legitimate sources.

    I will say that this appears to be beneath most of his standard works. Perhaps we were just witnessing a brief display of peacocking from Athol.

  26. Athol, if what you say is true, how come men who hve had vasectomies don't have goolies the size of coconuts? I mean, no sperm is coming out, is it?

    The sperm gets reabsorbed into the body, however there is often an immune response at work to do this. There are studies that suggest long term immunological concerns because of this.

    Also there is a pressure issue with vasectomy. From Wikipedia…

    There is a noticeable increase in pressure within the vas deferens on the testicular side following vasectomy.[8] The epididymides of vasectomized men are often swollen and distended from backpressure effects.[8] The efferent ducts and seminiferous tubules of the testes are also impacted by backpressure, leading to an increase in area and thickness.[9] Backpressure from blockage of the vas deferens causes a rupture in the epididymis, called an "epididymal blowout", in over half of vasectomy patients.[3] Sperm sometimes leak from the vas deferens of vasectomized men, forming lesions in the scrotum known as sperm granulomas. Some sperm granulomas can be painful.[10] Paradoxically, the presence of a sperm granuloma at the vasectomy site prevents epididymal pressure build-up, perforation, and the formation of an epididymal sperm granuloma. It thus lessens the likelihood of epididymal discomfort.[11]

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-vasectomy_pain_syndrome

  27. I wrote this post because I am concerned the OP is causing damage to his ability to be sexual with his future wife. If you think I'm trying to score points or respond with an alpha smackdown to someone that disagreed with me, you're simply wrong about my intentions.

    If he's right and all is well and everything springs back into normal function for the OP when he marries, then great. If my concerns are true though, then he's seriously damaged himself and his marriage likely won't survive it. If stating my concerns makes me a jerk, then so be it. Personally I think it would have been wrong for me to not say something.

    I stand by my statement that if I was advising his fiance, I would suggest she delay the marriage unless he can prove / offer assurance of normal sexual function. I recommend this to everyone for all marriages.

    I don't think you need to be a urologist to think that two ejaculations a year is in any way normal sexual function.

  28. My understanding is that Athol gives personal care and dispenses psych meds to patients in a group home. If this is incorrect I apologize.

    That would be the job of direct care staff. Loosely speaking I'm about three layers of supervision up from that.

    Also the Terms of Use should clarify a few of the concerns in the comments.

    http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/p/terms-of-use.html

  29. Athol, thanks for the additional feedback. It just seemed like an odd sort of post coming from you, both in tone and substance. I was wondering if there wasn't some underlying aggression there surrounding the religious views driving his behavior (views I do not share, FWIW), but if you say there isn't I certainly believe you and apologize for the accusation. I think your view on this subject is a bit extreme, and am not convinced of the science that is driving it, but I respect that you are giving advice with the utmost concern to his well being and that of his future wife. I'm more or less a daily reader and most of the time I agree with you. This time I don't. I commend the guy for being dedicated to his principles and practicing what must be a very difficult form of self restrain. Not something I would want to do, but I have a measure of respect for someone who can pull it off (pun completely intentional).

    I agree two ejaculations a year is far below normal, but I don't think 'below normal' is the same as dysfunctional, especially when the subject is purposefully trying to abstain from having ejaculations.

  30. My only concern about religion as far as MMSL is concerned is whether or not it causes sexual problems.

    I think just trying to abstain from having ejaculations for two+ years is dysfunctional in and of itself.

  31. Curious if comments are moderated here. I noticed that 1 comment I made went through but a follow-up post did not. I got confirmation that it posted. Please confirm your policy for commenting so i can understand if I should bother wasting my time.

  32. Ok read the terms of service and see your comment policy and the acknowlegement that you reserve the right to basically be full of crap in any post. So now I know.

  33. My initial reaction to the post was to agree with those who think Athol sounded hostile, but I think he's just using a forceful method to get his point across. It sounds like he's treating sexual urges the way a monk would, or how we might fight urges to eat sweets or have a cigarette. One way to quit smoking/sweets/maybe anything is to just fight the urge, allow cheating, but just keep fighting it, try to space out the time between giving in more and more. Eventually, the cravings go away.

  34. Anon – Blogger comment moderation for spam is automated, so multiple comments left in quick succession go into the spam holding cells. There's no notice of this to me unless I manually check the spambox.

    If it makes you feel any better, a comment of yours (assuming you were the orginial 11:09 anon) and a comment of Jennifer's (!) were released this morning.

    Your first comment demanded that I have a disclaimer. I directed you to the terms of use which is my disclaimer. This made you angry. I am unsure how to please you.

  35. And considering how frequently my wife was called a whore in the comments of the previous post, I believe if anything I am far to patient with comments that are directly insulting to Jennifer and myself.

  36. "And considering how frequently my wife was called a whore in the comments of the previous post, I believe if anything I am far to patient with comments that are directly insulting to Jennifer and myself"

    Oh boy! If Jennifer is a whore, there's no word for describing me! :D

    SGG

  37. Dont worry about pleasing me. That's not your job nor do i expect it. I do enjoy reading your blog and for the most part I believe you have great advice for marriage which appears to be well thought out and researched. Even though I often cringe at much of the intimate details you provide of your marriage, I understand what service you are providing in doing so. I enjoy most of the direct advice you provide to readers who write to you personally as well. It's just that I feel strongly that what you wrote in this post simply simply off the mark. Reading your terms of service clarified my understanding of what you have going on here. In the past I respectfully took nearly everything you wrote on its face. Now I understand where you're coming from and won't get so worked up. And for what it's worth, I'm not angry. Sorry if I came across that way. I dont know you from Adam except what I read on you blog and have no reason to be angry with you.

  38. As for the whore comments, I think they're just jealous. My wife said something about being a million dollar hooker in bed for a successful marriage when we first married. 26 years and never had a desire to stray in all those years. Whore=good. :-)

  39. It sounds to me like the Reader who attempting complete sexual continence has merely chosen a path that is suppressing the hell out of his testosterone production. If so, his fiance will be storing up hate for him in her hind-brain that will explode all over him before long.
    If they marry and he does less than pound her to screaming orgasms from start, he is toast.
    And this daily back-rub thing reeks of pedestalization. Without a hard change in course, this guy is on a glide path to seeing everything he hopes for in marriage turn to shit.
    And that is the polite way of saying it.

  40. Rollo has a different view:

    Rollo suggests a guy with a fiance has two wet dreams a year and rubs her back a lot as his sexual outlet? I somehow think not.

  41. Ok reading these comments is terribly jarring for several reasons.

    Everyone hating on athol is using a sperm = semen argument. But sperm is NOT semen. Semen is a carrier created by the body to hold and deliver sperm, also created by the body. Sperm production is independant of semen production. STOP IT. ITS NOT THE SAME THING. You are all making my brain hurt. Sperm CAN be reabsorbed by the body, but sperm reabsorption is not the issue here. Semen is.

    Semen is removed from the body via ejection through masturbation, wet dreams and sex. DIFFERENT SYSTEMS. If this man is only having 2 wet dreams a year, and you produce an average of 5 mls a day, then he should, by definition, be having a wet dream of approximately 912.5 mls each time. thats almost a liter, or for perspective, almost 2 starbucks venti capachinos. Also about twice the volume of the average human bladder, so where is he storing it?

    An average ejaculate volume is between .1 and 10ml. Even if we take the upside on account of reduced frequency, close to 10ml, and to make the math easy to see, lets use 9.125ml. That means this man is producing 1 /100 the average mans semen.

    Now, applying some of these "sniff tests" of the commenters, does it sound healthy, or normal, to be producing 1/100 of the average ANYTHING inside a human body? Or is that something you might want to see a doctor about?

  42. I`ll give teh perspective on this from yoga, tantric sex and the eastern spiritual and sexological traditions in generall. I have both some theoretical knowledge og them and a fair amount of practical experience with their teachings. Although there are strong moralistic streaks within these traditions tehir basic view on this is entirely pragmatic and empirical. They have vast systematic experience with both celibacy and sex without ejaculation. THis is going to have to be a long post as the subject is wide and hard to explain to someone who is not familiar with this perspective.

    Within these traditions an ejaculation per se is seen as a very strong loss of especially valuable energy. The tiredness and drained feeling you have after ejaculations is connected to this. (I don`t know were Athol got the stuff about oxytocin causing this, it doesen`t prolactin causes it as far as I have read. Oxytocin makes you feel exactly like you do after you have cuddled for an hour.) If you go a week or two or even months without ejaculations you will most likely feel a lot more energetic, you will feel physically stronger, you will feel mentally sharper, you will probably also feel an increase in concentration and memory. You will also notice that you get A LOT more attenation from women. THe eastern view is that you build up a ton of sexual energy and women sense this. The reason boxers often go for a month not just without women but without masturbation as well is because of this buildup of energy. It makes them stronger, sharper and more energetic. A key reason the eastern traditions focus so much on this is that this buildup of energy makes deep meditative states much easier to attain.

  43. This is only part of the story. If you have sex with a woman and ejaculate they view it as if you loose less energy than if you just masturbate. THey also view sex without love as more draining than sex with love. However, you can as a man actually have multiple whole body orgasms without ejaculating. You can have such orgasms of two kinds. Peak orgasms which resemble those you are familiar with, explosive, expansive, makes your body shake etc. and valley orgasms which are peacefull timeless orgasms with no clear begining or end and does not make your body shake much. THese feels more like implotions than explotions. Now, if you have valley orgasms with a woman and don`t ejaculate at all teh view is that you actually increase your energy levels and health, A LOT, and do not loose anything. If you have peak orgasms with a woman its a bit more murky. It varies from slight energy loss to quite a large increase. This is a key reason for the practice of tantric sex. Monks and yogis will actually often pair up with nuns and have daily sex for hours on end at certain points in their time in monastaries and advanced yogis that are married will often practice tantra like this in large part because of the energy benefit.

    I have some but modest experience with this. I have gone for much longer than I normally would without ejaculations and sex to see what happened and I did get all the supposed benefits. Actually I got much more of them than I expected and is normal and I got them quicker. Especially noticable was interest from women whihc started to go up arround day 3 or 4 of abstinence and increased steadily after that and got VERY noticable after a couple of weeks. People commented on how great my skin suddenly looked. IT was very different.

    I have also had multiple orgasms of the peak and valley orgasms kind with and without women and my experience is that the eastern view is correct. I also have a meditation teacher who hold sregular workshops about yogic and taoist sexual practices and his students get the same results. I have discussed online with hundred of meditators, yogis, martial artists and qigong practioners which also have exactly the same experience (with some variations, a few get very little benefit but most get a lot and some much more than others). Also the site reuniting.info is filled with men who go for weeks and months without masturbation or sex or with only karezza sex without ejaculation. Their experience bear out exactly the same.

    As for these things being bullshit and quackery beacuse western sexology is unaware of them consider this. Eastern sexology knows how to teach all men to have multiple whole body orgasms that are as strong as those of women while western sexology has just recently gotten somewhat aware of this through learning about it from teh east. The eastern tradition also had precise descriptions of the whereabouts and best ways to stimulate both the G-spot and the A-spot thousands of years ago but they have only recently been "discovered" in the west. Based on that they clearly do know something and something more than the west.

    If you go to the aneros.com site you will find a ton of western men who have insane multiple orgasms through the aneros sex toy. What they experience are very similar to what I am talking about but a little different. At teh key sound multiple orgasm technique forum you will find a ton of guys having them through a strange sound technique.

  44. There are actually some serious dangers with some of these techniques when learned by people without extensive training in yoga and meditation. One danger is that some of the techniques are based on too forcefull clenaching of the pc muscles and you can physically mess yourself up down there. The web is full of guys who report having done this if you look arround for it. Very common problem. Another problem is that those who have peak orgasmic multiple orgasms without ejaculation and who do not also meditate often get not just more energy but become manic like in bipolar type manic. THe symptoms also look a lot like extreme excess dopamine levels. This can be mitigated either by ejaculating most times you have sex or through certain meditation techniques.

    The only sound way to go about learning any of this for a westerner today is IMO to either practice Karezza or learn tantra in the way Diana Richardson teaches it. It is extremely simple, no technique really, just requires about two weeks of patience to start feeling how it is supposed to feel. These versions are based solely on valley orgasms and hanging out in what can be called "preorgasmic bliss". Thos methods have zero danger, loads of benefit and are easy. THat kind of sex is faaaaaaar more pleasurable than any other ordinary sex you can have. One guy said to me ejaculatory sex is just sad when you know what else there is and I agree the contrast is especially big for a man. If you ever have been jealous of the sexual pleasure of women you should try this as it not only levels teh playing field but gets you more pleasure than your average woman. In addition this type of sex tends to hold couples together. Sorry for the long posts. THere was really no option as this is hard to explain and a big topic.

  45. Oh, and by the way there are quite the number of pickup artists that have found that it is beneficial to abstain from masturbating. Af fastseduction.com many who have experimented with it found that it gave them better results partly because they somehow felt they got more mojo.

  46. I am sooo tired of people claiming that all Christians are forbidden to masturbate or that Christian men or women are uptight prudes that don't enjoy sex and are not enjoying creative sexual play. I have been a Christian for a long time in a quite conservative denomination and have never seen such views promoted. Furthermore, in many surveys Christians state they have a high rate of marital satisfaction.

    Basically it is a stance that lust is something to be aware of and that there are some basic boundaries involving faithfulness and consideration for the other partner. It is considered a sin to withhold yourself deliberately from the other partner and if masturbating while married means the other person gets less of you then you have sinned.

  47. About the whore thing and the wife being a whore. I just don't get what men mean by this. A whore uses you for money. A whore is not in any way faithful to you. A whore does not appreciate the Beta in you and probably couldn't care less about the Alpha. A whore does not want to have and rear your children. A whore may be under the control of a pimp (another man).A whore is out to attract the attention of multiple men–not because she loves to be sexy but because of money. She is not going to be any more experimental than you are willing to pay for. She may also be or become mentally cold about men in general and may become addicted to alcohol or drugs. How do i know this? Because I was friends with a whore and saw the outcome. I have also read a few books lately on call girls and though they make more money their lives are always negatively impacted.

    Back to being the whore wife. Is it not ok to have a wife that may like sex a lot,want to dress sexy for you and try a spicy bedroom life without thinking of her as a whore or slut ? I think this shows an unhealthy view of what is "normal" for a "good" wife and no reality check of what a whore's life is really like. Now if you want to play dress up mentally or in costume there are a lot of pretend roles that couples like —but to categorize a vivid sexy wife as a whore seems a bit skewed.

  48. I am new here and have been reading these comments with great interest and here are my random thoughts:

    I am going to skip the whole "sperm/semen" build up thing because I think it is not the point. The OP stopped masturbating after joining the church. "The church" has been wrong about so many things in the past. At one time the church held to a geocentric view of the universe. The church said that the Holy Spirit left the room when a couple had sex. I could go on and on. Masturbation is never mentioned in the Bible and the whole view against it comes from one verse in the Old Testament, and that was not even the point of the verse. The "church" has done a lousy job with sexuality, and I know. I was raised in the church and am now a pastor. Can masturbation be a problem? Sure if the man is depriving his wife of sex. The Bible talks in Corinthians about not depriving each other of sex. That goes both ways.

    The other comment is about the whole "whore" thing. Some have the impression that there is something wrong with a woman who is sexually aggressive or uninhibited with her husband. There is somehow something wrong with a woman that enjoys sex in a variety of ways. There is nothing in the Bible that prohibits that. Whatever my wife and I do that does not harm the other is OK.

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