Reader: So how do I get myself to not let her anger effect me?
Athol: You’re confusing your feelings with your actions.
Feeling full of guilt and stomach churning desire to comfort her, you just say, “That didn’t work, my bad, I’m going to give you some space to sort it out.” and then you walk away and give her space.
While you give her space, you exist in a maelstrom of dread that you have ruined everything and your marriage is over.
Then she comes back to you acting better and more interested in you. You are stunned and don’t really understand why that is so.
Life continues on a little better than before.
You can feel one way and act another. I mean we’ve all wanted to use the Darth Vader force grip power on someone and choke them to death at some point in our lives, but that’s just a feeling. Doesn’t mean we actually do it – an action. So you can feel like you have to coddle up to your wife, but you don’t have to do it.