I’m getting a ton of questions about Natural Family Planning these days. I must have gotten mentioned on a Catholic website or similar somewhere, because I’ve never written about it before now. So here goes…
All forms of birth control, including Natural Family Planning, are extremely effective when done correctly. The weakness in any method, is the users who are hard wired to try and find ways to get pregnant, or get someone pregnant. It’s the “one time” you forget a condom that just happens to line up with her ovulation. It’s her flushing the birth control pills each morning. Even something like a Depo-Provera shot, you would think it’s pretty much foolproof, but it’s always possible to miss an appointment to get the next shot.
Or as Dr Ian Malcolm says, “Life finds a way.”
So while Natural Family Planning done correctly is extremely effective, it is also one of the most wide open methods of birth control to allow life to find a way. Ovulation does skip around a bit. Right when she’s most horny is when you’re not supposed to do it. You don’t have any other form of birth control available on hand to cover the moment of weakness.
I’d also mention that Natural Family Planning is the most perfectly created system of “birth control” to allow a husband to be cuckolded. It purposely keeps the husband’s semen well clear of the vagina during her fertile period, and a lover would be unimpeded in impregnating her. In this sense it is completely unnatural and major display of weakness for a husband to take part in. If she’s ovulating, you’re totally meant to be filling her vagina up with your semen.
That being said, the wives all crazy for Natural Family Planning are typically highly religiously motivated, and one hopes that they are likely to stay faithful if they stay true to form. They are also highly likely to have traditional values and want to get pregnant anyway. So ahhh… wife will find a way.
So anyway, my hunch is that if you’re in a Natural Family Planning relationship, the wife is pretty much running the show as she has total control over the sexuality of the husband. If you’re a husband, you’re having reduced frequency of sex, and having more children than you probably want. So all in all, a woman all excited for Natural Family Planning, is probably fairly questionable as a wife choice for a highly sexed guy.
Which is not to say you should rule out Catholic women as a whole… from Wikipedia…
“Catholics for a Free Choice claimed in 1998 that 96% of U.S. Catholic women had used contraceptives at some point in their lives and that 72% of Catholics believed that one could be a good Catholic without obeying the Church’s teaching on birth control. According to a nationwide poll of 2,242 U.S. adults surveyed online in September 2005 by Harris Interactive, 90% of Catholics supported the use of birth control/contraceptives. Use of natural family planning methods among United States Catholics purportedly is low, although the number cannot be known with certainty. In 2002, 24% of the U.S. population identified as Catholic. But of sexually active Americans avoiding pregnancy, only 1.5% were using NFP.“
Or put another way, it’s a religion/Catholic thing that most religious/Catholics think is weird/stupid. Not sure how else to spin that. If you’re a husband in a Natural Family Planning marriage, my advice is to simply assume that you’re going to become a father in short order and repeatedly.
Jennifer: All birth control methods have side effects and negatives, it’s simply a case for shopping for the one that works best for you as a couple.I’ve always done well on birth control pills, so we’re doing that. If I wasn’t, we’d find another option. Likely a Copper IUD would be our next option.
Often there’s the issue where the husband wants sex, but the wife is a little tired and not immediately responsive. Essentially a sexually neutral position. I often suggest that she allow herself to be seduced and go along with it, and after a few minutes of foreplay actually find herself quite enjoying the activities. It may not be crazy hot sex, but certainly pleasant, bonding and fun.
Or as some women have been known to say, “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.”
But what if she wants it, and he’s feeling a little sexually dull?
Ladies try this…
Just say, “Why don’t you just lie back tonight and let me do all the work.”
Take your time getting him hard via fingers and blowjob, then go into the cowgirl position and while he’s inside you, masturbate yourself to orgasm.
It’s ahh… kinda difficult to not get excited by a woman orgasming impaled on your cock.
Jennifer: It’s also an amazingly good orgasm for me that way! (official disclaimer: you must have short fingernails lol)
The Preselection Effect is when one woman becomes more interested in a man, simply because other women are interested in him. The rationale being that if he pulled all their interest, he must be something special.
So when other women start expressing interest in you, your wife tends to sit up and take notice. Not merely for the imagined threat of you sleeping with them or dumping her for one of them, but simply because other women are interested in you.
So part of the reason I advise men to self-improve and become more attractive, is not to just directly pull their wife’s interest better, but to also pull the interest of other women. Thus creating a preselection effect.
The key though, it that it’s preselection when another woman is interested in you, as opposed to you hitting on another woman.