Reader Polls and a Short Break

I’m going to take a short break from writing the blog. I’m exhausted and Christmas is coming so need to step away for a little bit, probably a week or so. I’m off next week and really need to work on completing a couple of shorter book projects before turning my sights on the 2012 Primer for real.
I’m at that awkward point where MMSL is earning quite well for a new blog/book earner, but it’s not nearly enough to quit my regular job just yet. But I can’t really push MMSL along the path of creating a bigger income, because I have to spend so much time working my regular job. There’s a sort of quantum leap that has to happen from one to the other.
As such, I have put up a few reader polls in the right hand sidebar, and would love to hear your feedback for what I should do next. I have books I can do now, but the next MMSL product needs to do reasonably well as I’ll probably only have the time to pick one new area in the first half of 2012. So I’d like to get that choice right. A couple of the polls allow multiple answers.
As an aside, there is a blog upgrade / switch to WordPress coming in the near future, so don’t hammer me on that one. And yes, future books will have better covers. And please add whatever comments and suggestions you have to this post. The reader polls are fairly general.
As always, I am grateful and excited to have so many people interested in what I have to say. This is a long project I’m committed to, and it is my sincere hope you are helped by it. – Athol

Comments

  1. As for your blog, just keep doing what you are doing. (that option wasn't available in the list)

  2. Overall I think you're doing a good job!

  3. I know a lot of people want a forum, but I'd advise you think long and hard about that one.
    Having spent a fair amount of time on other forums like No More Mr. Nice Guy, Shrink for Men, etc. they tend to take on a certain overall personality that may or may not jibe with what you're trying to put out there.
    They can also be a huge time suck. The bigger one gets, the more moderation it will require, which either you'll have to do or you'll have to find volunteers you can trust.
    Given the "controversial" nature of some of your material, you should prepare for even more trolls than you deal with in the comments now.
    Finally, if you don't like people reinterpreting what you're trying to say, a forum may not be a good fit for you. Ask around with people who've had experience setting up and managing forums to see if that's right for you.
    And lastly, and this is just personal preference, I've stopped spending much time on forums attached to specific blogs – the signal to noise ration usually falls below my threshold for feeling like I got something out of it.

  4. I would like more information on how to get my husband on board. At the moment I read your blog and he makes fun and doesn't listen to the things I suggest (telling me that I will believe anything). He feels that taking your advice is the same as treating me like a child, and that isn't what he wants in a relationship.

  5. I read this blog daily, and I would miss it a lot if it was not available. I have learned so much from reading daily, hearing your response to others etc. I have read your book, emailed you and I have implemented everything you have suggested. I am a changed man. My wife is happy and attracted to me. Having said all that, I know that long term your goal is to make a living at this. That I understand. Conferences are great, and they do generate money. My suggestion would be to continue to write more books, one-on-one counseling and possibly consider charging to access your blog. I personally would pay to read it. That alone will not provide enough income, but my point is despite whatever way you decide to move, please keep your blog going!

  6. Athol, There is a formatting problem with your polls and the results are too big for the column on right.

    Anon 10:25 – You need to run the MAP program and up your sex rank or start setting ultimatums for your husband or you are moving on.

  7. Thank you. I have learned a lot from your book and blog this year. I hope that you and your family have a great Christmas and a relaxing week off from work.

  8. THE WOMAN FORMERLY KNOWN AS BEAUTIFUL says:

    Hello Married Sex Guru — I wanted to let you know I nominated you for The Versatile Blogger Award. This is either a blessing or a curse as it does take work to accept it. So you can either thank me or smack me. It sounds like you're incredibly busy so there's no time frame on when one accepts this nomination, should one choose to do so.

    Also, I am sending good vibes your way so that day job can take a hike.

    If you'd like to see your nomination this is the link. http://thewomanformerlyknownasbeautiful.com/2011/12/friday-wrap-up-yes-my-pants-wont-button-but-i-was-nominated-for-the-versatile-blogger-award.html

  9. Christopher says:

    There wasn't an option for what I'd like to see in your blogging; namely, more input from Jennifer. I treasure the little tidbits from her at the end of your posts; it really sets your blog apart.

  10. Hi Athol,

    Train up some guys, make them sign nda's & none-competitive contracts, so they cant set up competitive bootcamps

    & release some DVD's also split your dvd's into girl game & marriage & relationship game …

    Go nationwide

    You're literally sitting on a gold mine here …

  11. Hi Athol,

    "I would like more information on how to get my husband on board. At the moment I read your blog and he makes fun and doesn't listen to the things I suggest (telling me that I will believe anything)."

    This is why you need a seperate product for girl game …

    There's nothing out there for women stuck with men they settled for, who have no way of getting their husband to learning game …

  12. I would love to see two things, though they may be too far from what you want to cover:

    1) More articles for women who want to play the game, as Rmaxd said.

    B) Information for singles, especially formerly married people, who are looking to be married again, but want to get it right this time.

    I've learned so much about myself and marriage from your blog, Athol, but as a middle-aged divorcee, I'm worried I won't be able to put it to use.

    Z

  13. A well-deserved happy holiday to you. I'm agnostic about how to expand, but second SW AL's caveats about forums. Areas I'd like to see covered is dealing with career/entrepreneurship/money vs. the fear of failure & further deteriorating your relative rank. If my Internet research is correct, you've swapped careers in your life. I'd love to see you relate some of that. Thanks.
    Jason

  14. At least for the short term, consider adding a donate or voluntary pay button to your current blog. I bought your book, and would also make a voluntary payment as I understand you are giving this blog a tremendous amount of your time, and I want it to continue.

    I also suggest making such voluntary credit card payments to the blog appear as a generic item on the credit card bills. (I do not mention to W that I read this blog or your book, and I would not want her to learn about it from the CC statement.)

    Please add some success stories from some of those who avoided divorce because your book/blog.

    Also please keep your MMSL book to just info for the married men. Put info for the unmarried men in a diff book.

    Thanks for all that you have done. I think I have a shot at averting divorce because of your book/blog.

    Hope you and four family enjoy the holidays.

  15. Thanks, Athol, for all of the work you put into this and I hope you can go full time some day. Unless I missed it, is there a place to ask specific questions to Jennifer? I think that would be a great addition to the site.

  16. Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all.

  17. I agree with Anon 10:25 and Christopher, as a single young woman, I love reading bits from Jennifer and seeing how I can implement these things from a woman's perspective and get my male counterpart to also start seeing things proactively.

  18. Introverted Alpha says:

    Athol, this blog is BY FAR the most important and valuable thing I've found on the internet this year. You need to add a "Donate" button.

  19. Another idea.

    How does the Marriage Game work for older people, in particular, post menopausal women? Hormonal mixes change with age, and health problems can mess with both sex rank and Game. How do men react when their wives leave the baby-making years? Is monogamy no longer necessary?

    As a newly divorced 50+ woman, I'm noticing that all the available men in my age range (who are not looking for younger women) are looking for open relationships with independent women – Captain to Captain. I'm a First Officer and would love to get married again (to a man who does not go batshit on me).

    Z

  20. Hi there
    I love your blog! I am a woman married to an MD…in this economy I would do …both. I really have enjoyed your book.

  21. You should do workshops for married couples! Just sayin. I would totally pay for that.
    :)
    I love reading the blog and I think it's a great perspective on marriage, and has really helped me have more insight into my husband's behavior!

  22. Dreadpiratk says:

    As others have mentioned, I'd love to see another book geared towards singles, men and women, along the lines of 'how to start right'. Mate selection, ect. I think you've got some very valuable things to say in this area.

    Merry Christmas and I look forward to reading you're blog in the new year.

  23. There seems to be a lot of women out there that need advice and a lot of singles. Athol, don't go down that road. Stay true to your guns and keep it about married men, we are the ones that need the most help! Plenty of places for singles and women to get help, but not a lot for married men!

  24. I agree with Anon 9:38, please "stay true to your guns and keep it about married men, we are the ones that need the most help!"

  25. The way I look at it Athol, you've been right about almost everything so far so whatever you decide to add or not will probably work. Hope you and your family has a great holiday season and a nice week off. You deserve it!

  26. While I wish there were good advice out there for girl game, I do think Athol should stick to the man side of it. Girl game advice seems like it should come from a woman.

    Having said that… and as a married woman, I would love to hear more from Jennifer as well. Not saying she needs weekly posts of her own or anything, but her input towards the end of posts lately has been helpful to me, and getting an occasional full post from her could be helpful to me as I try to figure out how to run girl game on my husband.

    I agree that having a forum is probably not a road you wanna go down. Forums are extremely exhausting to try to manage and my experience with it is only small scale. MMSL would likely go huge as a forum, very quickly.

    I also like the idea somebody mentioned of posting success stories from people who've turned their marriage around using Athol's advice.

    Merry Christmas to you and yours, Athol!

  27. http://www.takeninhand.com

    great site about men taking control in marriages, being more alpha, women tell stories about how their man is dominating them and how great it is.

  28. Just a note that the taken in Hand site mentioned above is nothing like the advice Athol gives. It's actually pretty yucky/creepy, unless you think that basically telling men to treat their wives like small children is good advice.

  29. Actually takeninhand is an excellent guide on treating women, as the childish, immature, entitled brats they are … especially western sluts …

    lol @ Rachel

    Girl game is essentially be a bitch, emasculate the husband, till you fall out of love with him

    Be batshit crazy, drain his bank balance, rape him in divorce court & steal HIS children, the same kid's he paid for & puts through school

    While she stays at home, counting how many times the male's been beta & how many gina tingles she's missed

    So no, I dont think girl game should be taught by a bitch .. i mean a carousel riding slut … erm i mean a gold digger …

    oh wait … damn it, girl game sucks …

    DONT teach it Athol …. let the women destroy their marriages, cos you're not a woman obviously … as according to Rachel only bitchy women should be allowed to teach girl game …

    May the PMS be with all you married beta chumps & your gold digging wives …

  30. Oh yes as the commentors above, Add a Donate Button, your site's easily the best site for married couples & relationships

    Not everyone wants to buy a book etc

  31. Though I'd love to find an equivalent of Athol for women, I don't want him to give advice for women.

    Rather, I'd like to see advice for men that goes beyond the current advice limits. As in, how older men who are single again can find women who satisfy their needs — and what those needs are.

    Two very different examples … my ex's father, less than a week after becoming a widower, was moaning about how badly he needed a woman in his life. And 6 months later, he was telling me how horny he was. Not exactly what a daughter in law wants to hear, but the message was he desperately needed a new LTR. [He eventually found a lady friend, 5 years older than he is, in their assisted living place.]

    He could definitely have used advice on how 70+ year olds can play the game.

    On the other hand, I have a profile on a singles site, looking for men around 50. Virtually every man's profile specifies they don't want to settle down, do want open relationships, and are not interested in marriage. Is this their best strategy for getting sex, or should they be looking for monogamous relationships? These are not men who want more babies, they are done with kids.

    My stake in the game is that if I know what men in my age rage want, I can work on being the type of woman they want a relationship with. If they want middle-ages Alpha, I can work on my looks, if they want Beta, I can do that too — but which is more important?

    Z

  32. Thanks everyone, I will post something in response later today.

  33. Liz – I think you correctly ID a gap in the advice market. However, Athol will surprise me if he can fill it adequately. He has little experience of being an older/mature man and being in a relationship with a mature lady (perhaps something he can start to address in 10 years time?). Also, the dating market for older people is a tad different than that for younger people and I hope he never experiences it directly.

    50+ men have differing goals re relationships. There are quite distinct market segments including those that want a cosy LTR and those that want to play the field. Similarly, there are women to match. You'll find heaps of men looking for exciting affairs – just don't engage with them if you want a LTR.

    I think a 50+ woman needs to identify her own needs and then target those men that match. Improving oneself and appearance / presentation is always good. There appears to be less of a need for mothering skills (not surprising) except for those single men with kids at home who will hugely value them.

    A matching libido and willingness to build intimacy and enjoy a physical relationship are almost universally demanded. Many ladies offer everything and then close down the sexual options after marriage – avoid this.

    Mature men are usually looking for equal contribution and are wary of gold diggers. Your ability to manage your assets and income and career development (or retirement plan) will be quietly assessed.

    An active mind, self improvement and similar interests are important as companionship grows in importance as people age.

    I hope this helps … C :-)

  34. So any book tours?

Speak Your Mind

*