Reader comment: I have discovered that my wife WANTS me to make the move. She will hardly ever initiate. But she NEVER says no and always is enthusiastic when I do.
I am like Chip. It takes some getting used to, to just assert your sexuality, admit that you want to get laid and take what is yours.
But my wife even told me a while back to just ignore her protests that she has some blah blah blah thing she has to do for the next hour and can you wait until after that. She told me to let the cake burn in the oven. Just take her by the hand and tell her “we’re doing it now”.
How cool is that? My wife told me that she is available anytime anywhere. I just have to be man enough to demand it and she will go for it.
Athol’s advice has been an epic win for my wife and I. She MELTS when I dominate her. Who would have known? This is not what men are taught these days.
Athol: There’s a sort of a quantum leap between weakly asking for sex and making a stronger statement that sex will be happening. The husband is too afraid to make the jump without reassurance that she isn’t going to react very badly to him, and for the wife, giving him reassurance she won’t react badly kills her reaction to being dominated.
You can’t ask for permission to dominate in the moment because it ruins it. Asking for permission means you’re far more the submissive than the dominant. “Please Mistress, may I serve you by pulling your hair and spanking you?” See, just doesn’t work does it.
However you can have that conversation outside of the bedroom, without having that same ruining effect happening. You can clear dominance ahead of time and then just move forward with actual attempts later on. The first few times probably won’t feel all that powerful, but if she likes it, then she likes it, and that will encourage further attempts to be more interesting.
The very simple move to try out first is ye olde missionary position, but doing it rougher than you have done it in the past. Just crank it up 15-20% rougher than your previous maximum. Gauge her response. You may be surprised at how much she likes it.
Don’t worry about hurting her, as long as she’s wet / lubed enough you can’t really hurt her in that position. Vaginas are designed to survive eight pound babies squeezing out of them, so a standard issue penis isn’t going to tear her open unless you’re Superman. Actually now that I think of it, wouldn’t Lois Lane having sex with Superman be kinda risky? I mean never mind ripped condoms, wouldn’t he just blow her head off when he comes?
Anyway…. I’ve actually experimented with trying to have sex in that position at my 100% full force maximum. Jennifer liked it. It’s not an everyday thing by any means, but it’s in the rotation. Personally I don’t enjoy the sex itself that way as much as I do other less aggressive ones, Jennifer clinging and snuggling into me afterwards is very enjoyable.
Jennifer: I do enjoy that style of sex, but like Athol said, it’s not an everyday thing. He always teases me a little for the snuggling too. (And thanks for the comment…it’s really good to hear when things are working!)