Captain and First Officer in a Crisis Situation

Adding on to yesterdays post… 
(1) Captain and First Officer is a metaphor for marriage roles and chain of command. It is quite purposely based on Star Trek because it is immediately understood by readers as both roles being positive ones. It is extremely important that I take this approach, otherwise women almost invariably have an immediate and strong negative reaction to any suggestion of female submission and completely stop listening to anything else I have to say.
Once women can hear exactly what I’m saying, most admit to liking the idea.
(2) There are no combat situations in a marriage where a husband would need to send his wife and children to their deaths without them questioning his basic sanity. There is always time to discuss important family decisions. It’s a family unit, not a military unit.
(3) There are occasional family emergency situations where the Captain may simply give direction without discussion. If a kid falls out of a tree and breaks their leg, there is simply no time for discussion and clear instant direction is the order of the day. “You stay with the kid, I will call 911.”
(4) That being said, true emergency situations typically require immediate 911 calls as a default action. Both Captain and First Officer should be capable of acting appropriately in such situations, either alone or in tandem. Heck, the kids should know how to do this as well.
(5) True combat situations where the family is under direct physical threat of harm, the Captain and First Officer do their best to ensure the safety of the rest of the family. If need be, sacrificing their lives for the safety of the children. If there is a choice available over who lays down their life, the Captain does.
And just to underline that this is a shameless metaphor designed to speak to geeks, here’s a Captain and First Officer combat situation video lol.
And just to underline things one more time…
There is no requirement that you do any of this. It’s your marriage to live together. I’m simply describing a model of marital functioning. I don’t get upset if you have the wife as Captain and the husband as First Officer for instance; what you do in your marriage doesn’t affect my marriage. It works for Jennifer and myself, so we’re talking about it.
There’s no MMSL hell I send you to if you don’t live the Captain and First Officer lifestyle. I’m an author, not Mr. Deity.

Comments

  1. Thank you, Athol. I know you were referring to me. I totally agree with you on each person's marriage being their own. If you and Jennifer and other people are happy with their marriage, it is none of my business. Most here would probably look at my marriage and question why I'm posting differences when it probably looks more like the most ideal capt/1st officer example. Ah well. Have a great weekend.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I really like how you followed up with this post. The first anon that posted yesterday about a Captain will sacarfice his whole army for the mission.

    I think that if there was an intruder in our home my husband and I would both do whatever we could to protect the kids. If it came to one us having to be done in it would be him first as he would never send me or the kids to fight that fight.

  3. Athol – thanks for the explanation. We need to remember you are explaining and providing one model for a successful marriage to a certain market segment. Nobody can be everything for everybody. Re a previous post – I'm glad you realise that some people could misinterpret you to justify being overly overbearing to their wives and thus provide clarification in that area as well. Keep up the good work! :-) C

  4. NO ATHOL! IT IS A CAPTAIN'S DUTY TO MAKE SURE HIS ENTIRE FAMILY GOES DOWN WITH THE SHIP. I GO OUT AND SEEK MUGGERS AND THEN THROW MY CHILDREN AT THEM AS A DEFENSIVE TACTIC BECAUSE I AM THE CAPTAIN AND MY ORDERS SHOULDN'T BE QUESTIONED. EVER.

    I TRIED MMSL ON MY DOG FOR 3 HOURS, AND HE STILL PEES IN THE HOUSE! WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT!

    lol No but seriously, Thank you for putting words to ideas. For years I've tried to explain to my mom and sister what it means for a woman to submit to her husband – neither of them really got it and thought I was being "oppressive". It wasn't until I could break it down like this that they understood.

  5. Southern Man says:

    That clip was better than any of the prequels.

  6. The MacNut says:

    I know right? Almost wish they'd make that into a movie…

  7. So eloquent, puts into words what we've been trying to do.

    I think this will work for most couples, because of how men and women are wired. But there will be substantial outliers. These models only run into trouble when they fail to consider outliners.

    I like how Athol gives a model, and acknowledges that it's a model, not a fiat proclamation from above. Do what works. This might.

  8. I should have realized my marriage was doomed when the man I chose as Captain declared a "No Questions!" emergency over where to look first for a pinata stick for a child's birthday party.

    Z

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