Green Eggs and Hamster

Soft Neg:  Often confused with an insult or a put-down, but is more properly a light playful teasing verbal instigation. Shows confidence and being unaffected by the beauty of the female target.


Hand:  The state of the male being the more dominant half of a couple on the basis of his strength of personality. Having hand is a key concept in game.

I am man

I am man
Man I am

That Mister-Man
That Mister-Man!
I do not like
that Mister-Man.

Do you like
soft negs and hand?

I do not like them,
Mister-Man
I do not like
soft negs and hand

Would you like them
Here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
soft negs and hand
I do not like them,
Mister-Man.

Would you like them
in a bar?
Would you like them
in my car?

I do not like them
in a bar
I do not like them
in your car.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like soft negs and hand
I do not like them, Mister-Man.

Would you like them
sext at work?
Would you like them
from a jerk?

Not at my work.
Not with a jerk
Not in a bar.
Not in your car.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I would not want soft negs and hand
I do not like them, Mister-Man.

Would you? Could you?
in a truck?
Try me! Try me!
Wanna fuck?

I would not,
could not,
in a truck

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
and cock is free.

I don’t care that it’s free.
Not in a truck! You’re offending me!

I do not like sexts at work.
I do not like them from a jerk
I do not like them in a bar
I do not like them in a car
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like soft negs and hand
I do not like them, Mister-Man

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Do you, want to
on a train?

Not on a train! Not for for free!
Not in a truck! Mister-Man let me be!
I would not, could not, sext at work
I could not, would not, with a jerk.
I will not like it in a bar
I will not like it in a car.
I do not want it here or there.
I do not want it anywhere.
You’re an asshole Mister-Man.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would you, could you,
at the park?

I would not, could not, at the park.
Not in your truck. Not in the dark
Not in a car. Not at work.
Not in a bar. You’re such a jerk.
I will not date you here or there.
I will not date you anywhere!

You do not like
soft negs and hand?

I do not
like them,
Mister-Man

Could you, would you,
with a goat?

That’s in poor taste Mister-Man
Sloppy cut and paste, I’m not a fan.

Would you, could you,
on my boat?

I probably would not, should not, on your boat.
I will not, will not, you horny goat.
I will not like them on a train.
I’m gonna PMS, you hurt my brain!
Not in the dark! Not for free!
Not at the park! I’m wet, maybe.
I do not like them in a bar.
I do not like them in your car.
I will not sext you while at work
I do not like you, arrogant jerk
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like
soft negs and hand.
I do not like them,
Mister-Man

You do not like them.
SO you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may I say.

Sir.
If you will let me be,
I will date you once
then plan to flee

OMFG!
I like soft negs and hand
I do! I do? I do! Mister-Man!
And I would like them on your boat!
And something something something goat…
And I will blow you in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And for free.
It’s my choice, game doesn’t work on me.

So I will like them in a bar.
And I will like them in your car.
And I will sext during lunch at work
Naked pics? Just one you jerk.
And I might date you here and there.
Wait! Don’t leave! Take me ANYWHERE!

So I guess I like
soft negs and hand
Thank you!
Thank you,
Mister-Man

Comments

  1. LadyGrace says

    Ha! I'm glad I was not taking a drink while reading this because I would have shot it out my nose. Very funny, AK, and very appropriate to the recent tone of comments. Love it!

  2. Anonymous says

    How much of your life are you not going to be able to get back having wasted it re-writing Seuss's original garbage? What a waste of time and bandwidth. Find a better model.

  3. Sam says

    Maybe if the terminology were "teasing" rather than "negging" people might find it a little less repugnant.

  4. Ian Ironwood says

    Let 'em bitch. I consider this the first Red Pill Nursery Rhyme. Considering where most of the Blue Pill fellas are starting out, this kind of remedial education could prove invaluable.

  5. (r)Evoluzione says

    This.. is classic. I cannnot express enough appreciation for this.

    This is pure evil genius. Bravo, and..

    encore!!
    encore!!

  6. Squishy submissive says

    Sam, I can see your point. Out of context, yes, negging sounds bad. I hated it, too. But when I read examples, I realize my man is doing this already. And I beg him for more. Context is key… He already provides me the beta comfort so I know he loves me, and then it comes off more as play. And it's fun. Then again, I'm not one who thinks I'm beautiful. I can see where someone who uses beauty might need play that *is* more negging in order to balance the power better. We have the equivalent of this when I get cocky with my tech skills and he takes me down a notch when the ego gets a little puffy. And, yes, I do lean into him and cuddle up with my submissive self and start focusing on how I'm gonna get his cock out of those jeans. ;)

  7. Alphabeta Supe says

    Very clever. Careful though…if you make money from this site you could be exposed to IP issues under new SOPA legislation.

    Here's a case where the copyright holder successfully sued a publisher for doing much the same thing. The link doesn't show the result but you can Google it….Dr Suess won.

    Wouldn't want to lose you, Captain.

  8. lovesexandmarriage says

    OMFG! This cracked me up! I haven't read anything in awhile that made me laugh out loud. So glad I signed up for this! Congrats.

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