Green Eggs and Hamster

Soft Neg:  Often confused with an insult or a put-down, but is more properly a light playful teasing verbal instigation. Shows confidence and being unaffected by the beauty of the female target.


Hand:  The state of the male being the more dominant half of a couple on the basis of his strength of personality. Having hand is a key concept in game.

I am man

I am man
Man I am

That Mister-Man
That Mister-Man!
I do not like
that Mister-Man.

Do you like
soft negs and hand?

I do not like them,
Mister-Man
I do not like
soft negs and hand

Would you like them
Here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
soft negs and hand
I do not like them,
Mister-Man.

Would you like them
in a bar?
Would you like them
in my car?

I do not like them
in a bar
I do not like them
in your car.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like soft negs and hand
I do not like them, Mister-Man.

Would you like them
sext at work?
Would you like them
from a jerk?

Not at my work.
Not with a jerk
Not in a bar.
Not in your car.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I would not want soft negs and hand
I do not like them, Mister-Man.

Would you? Could you?
in a truck?
Try me! Try me!
Wanna fuck?

I would not,
could not,
in a truck

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
and cock is free.

I don’t care that it’s free.
Not in a truck! You’re offending me!

I do not like sexts at work.
I do not like them from a jerk
I do not like them in a bar
I do not like them in a car
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like soft negs and hand
I do not like them, Mister-Man

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Do you, want to
on a train?

Not on a train! Not for for free!
Not in a truck! Mister-Man let me be!
I would not, could not, sext at work
I could not, would not, with a jerk.
I will not like it in a bar
I will not like it in a car.
I do not want it here or there.
I do not want it anywhere.
You’re an asshole Mister-Man.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would you, could you,
at the park?

I would not, could not, at the park.
Not in your truck. Not in the dark
Not in a car. Not at work.
Not in a bar. You’re such a jerk.
I will not date you here or there.
I will not date you anywhere!

You do not like
soft negs and hand?

I do not
like them,
Mister-Man

Could you, would you,
with a goat?

That’s in poor taste Mister-Man
Sloppy cut and paste, I’m not a fan.

Would you, could you,
on my boat?

I probably would not, should not, on your boat.
I will not, will not, you horny goat.
I will not like them on a train.
I’m gonna PMS, you hurt my brain!
Not in the dark! Not for free!
Not at the park! I’m wet, maybe.
I do not like them in a bar.
I do not like them in your car.
I will not sext you while at work
I do not like you, arrogant jerk
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like
soft negs and hand.
I do not like them,
Mister-Man

You do not like them.
SO you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may I say.

Sir.
If you will let me be,
I will date you once
then plan to flee

OMFG!
I like soft negs and hand
I do! I do? I do! Mister-Man!
And I would like them on your boat!
And something something something goat…
And I will blow you in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And for free.
It’s my choice, game doesn’t work on me.

So I will like them in a bar.
And I will like them in your car.
And I will sext during lunch at work
Naked pics? Just one you jerk.
And I might date you here and there.
Wait! Don’t leave! Take me ANYWHERE!

So I guess I like
soft negs and hand
Thank you!
Thank you,
Mister-Man

Comments

  1. LadyGrace says:

    Ha! I'm glad I was not taking a drink while reading this because I would have shot it out my nose. Very funny, AK, and very appropriate to the recent tone of comments. Love it!

  2. John Durant says:

    Well done, sir — well done.

  3. Anonymous says:

    How much of your life are you not going to be able to get back having wasted it re-writing Seuss's original garbage? What a waste of time and bandwidth. Find a better model.

  4. Maybe if the terminology were "teasing" rather than "negging" people might find it a little less repugnant.

  5. Ian Ironwood says:

    Let 'em bitch. I consider this the first Red Pill Nursery Rhyme. Considering where most of the Blue Pill fellas are starting out, this kind of remedial education could prove invaluable.

  6. (r)Evoluzione says:

    This.. is classic. I cannnot express enough appreciation for this.

    This is pure evil genius. Bravo, and..

    encore!!
    encore!!

  7. Squishy submissive says:

    Sam, I can see your point. Out of context, yes, negging sounds bad. I hated it, too. But when I read examples, I realize my man is doing this already. And I beg him for more. Context is key… He already provides me the beta comfort so I know he loves me, and then it comes off more as play. And it's fun. Then again, I'm not one who thinks I'm beautiful. I can see where someone who uses beauty might need play that *is* more negging in order to balance the power better. We have the equivalent of this when I get cocky with my tech skills and he takes me down a notch when the ego gets a little puffy. And, yes, I do lean into him and cuddle up with my submissive self and start focusing on how I'm gonna get his cock out of those jeans. ;)

  8. Alphabeta Supe says:

    Very clever. Careful though…if you make money from this site you could be exposed to IP issues under new SOPA legislation.

    Here's a case where the copyright holder successfully sued a publisher for doing much the same thing. The link doesn't show the result but you can Google it….Dr Suess won.

    Wouldn't want to lose you, Captain.

  9. lovesexandmarriage says:

    OMFG! This cracked me up! I haven't read anything in awhile that made me laugh out loud. So glad I signed up for this! Congrats.

Speak Your Mind

*