Reader: One year ago, I took the red pill. I found your blog through Captain Capitalism, and started running the MAP. Actually ran it for awhile before buying your book. Also took up Latin dancing ala the captain. Huge DHV, and I tell my wife about all my dancing experiences…… Dread. Thank you very much – you, and several others in the manosphere have made a great difference in my life.
One question – I am incredibly affectionate. If there is a dog or cat in the house – they love me, because I will rub them for hours. Baby – I am holding it, walking it around, shushing it. My wife, unless we are actively fighting, I will automatically rub her back, legs, arms, hands head. I sometimes withhold my affection – but it takes a conscious effort. I am somewhat beta – but I am quite a bit alpha as well. Is being affectionate beta???
Athol: Physical touch is Alpha, Beta, or both depending on how you do it.
It sounds like you are doing lots of affectionate non-sexual touching, and very likely physical touch is your Love Language – you also love being touched in return right? That sort of touching is in fact Beta, by which I mean the good sort of Beta in that physically touching women creates a release of oxytocin in their bodies, which creates a sense of bonding and trust in you. It’s not as strong as the oxytocin release from making her orgasm, but it’s definitely a positive effect in building a huge stockpile of relationship comfort in your wife.
So if your wife likes it, it’s a good thing. Beta is a good thing.
However the question is whether or not you have all that Beta balanced with enough Alpha. You can also do that with physical touch by touching her in more intimate areas of her body. You can rub her back for a while and then slide your hands around and cup her breasts. When you kiss her you can grab her ass and give it a couple little love slaps. You can playfully pounce on her from behind while she’s at the kitchen sink and grind your crotch on her ass as you hug her from behind.
And of course stripping off her clothes, or getting your hands under her clothes is a more Alpha escalation as well.
This sort of thing is exactly what I do with Jennifer. I probably touch her in some way fifteen times in an evening in between coming home from work and going to bed. It’s some of it is incidental touch, and some of it purposely seeking her out. It’s a kiss, a hug, a squeeze and a fondle. It’s the “Groping” part of my “Goofy and Groping” interaction with her. Just talk some playful sexy nonsense with her and physically touch her on and off.
Just mix it up like you’re a cross between a labrador puppy and a sleazy octopus.
Warning: Do not attempt a “Breast Honk” move until things like pulling her hair, erotic spanking and totally forgetting to buy milk on the way home, make her smile.
Jennifer: Athol is constantly touching me, and it’s a comforting, connecting thing…it doesn’t have to be a nod-nod, wink-wink, meet me in the bedroom baby kind of thing every time. Sometimes, yes, but not every time.