My Second Book Is Done And I’m Ready For Your Money

My second book is done! Available in print ($13.99) and Kindle ($5.99).

EDIT:  The Paperback page on Amazon is getting synced to the Kindle one and is semi-AWOL. Find the paperback on Amazon here.

In retrospect writing the 2011 Primer was a little bit nutty. I had a bunch of great ideas, I could write, but I had this idea that I could just round up a bunch of the blog posts into some semblance of order, and push print and the book would be done. Turns out I was wrong. Writing a book is hard.

To be sure some of the original posts made it into the Primer partially intact, but there was a huge amount of rewriting to do. Plus it turns out that formatting a book is harder than it looks, and formatting a Kindle version of a book requires a “Merlin” level of skill while I was still struggling as “Sorcerers Apprentice.” And 344 pages of book was idiotic for a first attempt as any mistake required far too much repairing.
But in the end it was done, and pushed out the door. Despite my technical shortcomings the 2011 Primer has sold very well, primarily based on it’s strength of content and the loyalty of my fanbase spreading the word. If you’d asked me two years ago what having a fanbase would feel like, I would have told you it would feel awesome and egoistical. The reality is having a fanbase is a precious and rare thing. Most books don’t sell at all, mine does and I’m grateful for that. Truly.
So to the second book…
This one really is a bunch of posts rounded up and put into book form. It’s 101 of my best posts from Jan 2010 through October 2011. It’s a mix of stuff that was too personal, too funny, too off topic or too whatever and didn’t fit right for the Primer. Plus it’s some of my most important posts that to me really matter in a historical sense. You see I have to write to think, and sometimes when I write I have mental breakthroughs where I discover my best thoughts.
Also this time around I got the formatting down much better, and finally got the Kindle stuff sorted out much better. Actually reading the book you probably aren’t going to notice much of a difference, but I can assure you I got  5-10 times faster with setting things up between the Primer and the Pants book.
Plus it has a much nicer cover…
So now to the sales hype…
Important stuff this book tells you that you simply have to know:
The two types of men that women ping pong between. Page 9.
How to answer “Do these pants make my ass look fat?” and get laid like tile. Page 11.
Why the wedding vows aren’t the actual marriage agreement. Page 16.
Seventeen ways women reveal they are attracted to you. Page 25.
How to tell if a SAHM is going to be great, or spend half the day on Facebook. Page 27.
How to beat approach anxiety. Page 31.
What to do when your wife won’t have sex with you. Page 35.
How to lead your wife so that she wants to follow you. Page 40.
Why monogamy works best for most men. Page 50.
How the wrong college degree can ruin your sex life. Page 59.
How to spot when your wife is testing you. Page 69.
What it means when your wife says she’s bored. Page 71.
What she’s really saying when she says, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” Page 76.
Why you should never ask for marriage advice from your close friends. Page 79.
How submission really works for women. Page 85.
When you should rescue her and when you should let natural consequences just play out. Page 91.
Why everyone gets the male mid-life crisis wrong and what is really happening. Page 92.
What makes up the female mid-life crisis. Page 94.
How to hit her sexual “Big Red Easy Button.” Page 106.
What happens when you have sex at 87.3% of maximum roughness and why it drives her wild. Page 108.
What you should never do if she asks you to move out. Page 110.
The “Second Date Rule”. Page 116.
Why her gaining fifteen pounds means she’s into you. Page 117.
Why it’s not your job to cure their sexual dysfunction. Page 123.
What the female arm slap means. Page 125.
Learn what acts like Kryptonite to women. Page 131.
Why being an asshole secretly pleases women. Page 137.
Why being a White Knight is a bad idea, and being a Horny Knight is a great one. Page 150.
Why catering to women makes them like you less. Page 152.
How to get her to try something kinky. Page 154.
Why SAHM’s need to be SAHM’s “Plus Something.” Page 160.
How helping a friend out can accidentally make your wife attracted to him. Page 169.
What to say after she cooks dinner that will make her melt. Page 172.
How to tell the difference between your marriage sucking, and your life sucking. Page 176.
How a hot bedroom fantasy can turn into your wife cheating on you and refusing to stop. Page 178.
How polyamory  and swinging really works. Page 180.
Why being playfully mean to girls turns them on. Page 182.
How female logic works when it comes to men. Page 196.
What to do if she offers you sex, but says she doesn’t want an orgasm. Page 197.
The best revenge possible to take against a cheating girlfriend. Page 201.
How to handle a drama queen. Page 204.
Why women should have long hair and ignore their friends telling them to go short. Page 208.
The #1 thing men crave women to do in the bedroom (It’s not a blowjob!) Page 213.
What to do when your friend starts trying to steal your girl. Page 217.
Learn just how many women fantasize about being used for sex. Page 224.
Assuming she’s into it, why you should only spank your wife when she’s being good. Page 228.
How to fall out of love as quickly as possible. Page 234.
Why a wife going on a Girl’s Night Out drives her husband batshit crazy. Page 240.
The only way to build self-esteem that works. Page 244.
Why the main complaint about monogamy is that it works. Page 254.
How to know if she is worth marrying. Page 264.
What people really mean when they tell you to “Just be yourself.” Page 267.
“A collection of brilliant and hilariously true essays that everyone interested in love, sex and marriage needs to read. A fearless intellect coupled with a compassionate spirit, Athol ruthlessly tosses out the politically correct bath water but keeps the babies safe. At times controversial, at times wickedly funny, but always a powerful voice for love, marriage and hope.”
Which I hope means you can give it as a gift and read it in public lol. It’s only available as Kindle as an ebook because I’m seeing how the Kindle lending library works out and you can’t offer it on competing ebook formats. The free Kindle download for the PC is pretty easy though and overall better than reading a PDF on a PC.
And for those waiting for the 2012 Primer. It’s going to be late March when it’s available.
If other bloggers/reviewers want copies for review, you’re more than welcome to email me and I’ll send you an Amazon gift card for a Kindle version which allows you to post a review on Amazon itself. Though if I have a choice between getting a Primer 2012 review or a Pants Book review on your blog, the Primer one is more important. I have a 40 copy budget, so be in to win.
Jennifer: YAY!  BOOK!  I mean…yes, I’m very proud of my author husband and it’s a fabulous thing to see another book available after a lot of hard work.


  1. Anonymous says

    I BOUGHT your last one….I will BUY this one too. Thank you for your inspiring words. You are a wild man.

  2. GudEnuf says

    It doesn't matter what the picture on the back looks like. In my mind, you'll always be Jimmy Nuetron. :P

    Congratulations Athol

  3. Anonymous says

    Is the 2012 Primer essentially an updated/improved version of the 2011 Primer, or will it be a different book?

  4. Ducardo says

    Not finished the first one yet! I am sure it will be good, not too sure about all the Sperm War stuff, I beleive it's pretty much discredited by almost everyone, beleive me as you get more popular critics are going to pick on you for anything. The message you are conveying goes right against the normal guidance, and guess what the normal guidance sells millions of books to millions of men and women, regardless of the fact that it does not work! You and a very few others are daring to tell the truth and long may you continue, but don't give them excuses to attack you

  5. Athol Kay says

    Updated and improved version of the 2011 Primer.

    To put it in context, the 2011 Primer is 120k words long and pulled from about 200-250k words of blog content

    The 2012 Primer is going to pull from about 400-450k words of blog content. So there will be a decent content improvement.

    Plus some error correction and better arrangement of content.

  6. CC says

    Nice cover and mmsl thingy on the back. Do you mind sharing who did that for you? I'm in the market for a good and hopefully inexpensive designer myself.


  7. Anonymous says

    Hi. I'd love to buy this book but I cannot do it digitally (no Kindle) and I'm a purist that loves an actual book. Where can a hardcopy be purchased? I didn't see anything except Kindle on

  8. Athol Kay says

    There's a paperwork version available on Amazon. However it appears to have disappeared from the store.

    I believe they are snycing up the Kindle and Paperback into "the same book" so it should be back soon. I can see both editions on my Amazon Author back end.

  9. Rudd-O says


    I am ready to buy this book as I bought the other one. Where is the link to the PDF version to buy?

  10. Rudd-O says


    I am ready to buy this book as I bought the other one. Where is the link to the PDF version to buy?

  11. Anonymous says

    What's the difference between this book and the 2012 primer?? I'm a little confused. Still ready to purchase any content that I'd get value from, but still confused.

  12. Codeazure says

    Money sent as requested. Please deliver the drugs to the usual drop point. Oh sorry, wrong money ;-)

    I bought the Primer, learnt a lot from it. So happy to support you for this one as well. Looks like a useful addition (especially as I'm starting a new marriage…)

    Already loaded it into Kindle app on my phone…

  13. Athol Kay says

    This one really is a bunch of posts rounded up and put into book form. It's 101 of my best posts from Jan 2010 through October 2011. It's a mix of stuff that was too personal, too funny, too off topic or too whatever and didn't fit right for the Primer. Plus it's some of my most important posts that to me really matter in a historical sense. You see I have to write to think, and sometimes when I write I have mental breakthroughs where I discover my best thoughts.

    The 2012 will be an updated and revised version of the 2011 Primer.

  14. Athol Kay says

    It's only available as Kindle as an ebook because I'm seeing how the Kindle lending library works out and you can't offer it on competing ebook formats.

    The Kindle sales just go up and up and the PDF hardly sells much at all.

  15. Anonymous says

    Dear Athol, I don't want another book, but I do want to give you money – where's the Donate button…?

  16. Ted D says

    That really sucks. :(

    I went with a Nook because I'm a Barnes and Noble fan.

    Any chance a PDF version will be out down the road?

  17. Evan says

    Just ordered it. Can't wait for the 2012 Primer. I was going to give the 2011 Primer to my brother-in-law when the 2012 edition comes out. But your book most likely saved my marriage so I'm too attached to it to give it up. I'll order two 2012 Primers and send beta boy a copy.

  18. Ian Ironwood says

    You can always download the free Kindle app from Amazon to read it on your computer or tablet.

  19. Ian Ironwood says

    Congrats, Athol. It's always rewarding to see your book up and selling. May the gods of publishing bless it.

    Is that Jennifer on the cover? 'Cause, y'know, then you could write her off as a "business expense". And you could brag that you were sleeping with a model. Just sayin'.

  20. Big Jay says

    The cover design… do you think you could do something to make it more… matrixy?

    I'm just kidding. We'll done as always.

  21. Ted D. says

    The only portable reader I have is an original Nook. Well, I have an Android phone, but I don't know how well I'd like reading an entire book on the little screen. :P

    I'll give it a whirl though.

  22. Anonymous says

    Back cover pic = Athol.
    Front cover model = Jennifer?

    And while we're at it, how do you respond when the item she's modeling/showing you DOES make her look fat (or cheap, or anything bad), and it's adding to an awfully cluttered home?

  23. CantBeJustMe says

    Read it. Great book. It was worth it for ONE of the posts I ran across. If you read it, REALLY read it you are bound to find a post that almost looks like he wrote it for you specifically…..that alone is worth it.

    Great Job man, keep it up. You give hope to all us sarcastic assholes that there are women who will lay us like tile. I'm hoping that ends up being my wife…but because of your words, I know I can only do MY part…

    Thanks for that.

  24. Rudd-O says


    I don't use Kindles or Nooks because they are not searchable, they are inconvenient, and they have DRM. I use Linux everywhere, and both on Linux and on my phone I can read PDF just fine.

    I guess I will have to find the cracked version of the book (and then send you money some other way, as I value the author as much as I value the book).

    I hate that I have to break the law in order to get the book I want.

  25. Athol Kay says

    Rudd-O – the book is always going to be cracked and stolen to some degree. My feeling is that even offering PDFs damages the professional appearance and credibility of the book and me as an author. Overall it costs me money.

    Whether anyone likes it or not, the book market is Amazon.

  26. max firmin says

    athol-got the book and read it cover to cover the first afternoon. Good on you,mate. I came to game and the MAP a little late, but it's definitely working. Can't wait for the next installment. Max from Christchurch.

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