Reader: I am a new fan of your blog–57 years old, woman, two kids in college, 25 years of marriage in April, not enough sex, but some husband health issues, we shall see! Still hot for a 57 year old–but 57 is not 27 or 37!
Anyway, I have always wondered about the following: why do men love blow jobs so much? I don’t really get it. Does a mouth feel better than a vagina? Is it the (perceived) subservience of the task? (For me, it does not feel subservient in the least–happy to oblige, swallow cum, have teeth and know how to use them) Is it the opportunity to relax and not work so hard?
Athol: The short answer is that a lot of sex is essentially guys doing things to the woman and this is her doing something to him. So she’s being sexually more active with him. Guys experience that as feeling that the woman is into him. That she’s really into the sex.
The longer answer is that there really is only one basic male sexual fantasy…
…. that the woman is into the sex.
If you remember any and all porn you’ve watched, or erotica that you’ve read, or whatever, see if you can see it through the lens of the woman is into the sex.
If it’s vanilla missionary position sex… the woman is into it.
If it’s a male-male-female threesome… the woman is into it.
If it’s two women together… both women are into it.
If it’s 6-10 guys doing a gang bang… the woman is into it.
If it’s a woman bouncing on balloons until they pop… the woman is into it.
If it’s a brutal spanking that makes her cry… afterwards she smiles and lets you know she was into it.
If it’s a pulsing facial… she smiles her way through it because she was into it.
If it’s her being tied up and teased… she’s into it.
If it’s rough anal… she squeals her way through it because she’s into it.
It’s it’s dressing up in mascot costumes and simulating sex together… she’s into it.
If it’s she dressing up in a Princess Leia costume and being held down and taken by someone dressed as Boba Fett while her real life husband is dressed as Han Solo and strapped into a chair with duct tape… she’s into it.
I’m quite serious that there’s really only one male fantasy… that the woman is into it.
So when you have your head bobbing up and down on your husbands cock and going “hmmmmmmmmm” as you do it, he thinks you’re into it. And that’s his fantasy. His fantasy is you.
Jennifer: If something turns you on, your husband will usually find a way to like it too!