In 2009 I was posting on forums.
Part of the delay in the 2012 Primer is I’ll be moving to a WordPress platform at the end of March and that’s a sizable undertaking. We need the blogsite moved and stable before releasing the book. And yes MMSL will blink out of existence for a short period and return. So don’t panic. I really love Blogger, but the WordPress platform looks more polished so that’s where I’ve got to go.
I’m aiming for an April 11th release day for the 2012 Primer, so posting and email response times between now and then might diminish a little. I’m really not one of those people that can “write a little bit here and there” over a year, I pretty much have to crunch it out in one massive push.
That being said, I’m very happy with what I’ve got so far and I can already see it is going to be an all around stronger book. Closer to release day I’ll have a changelog so people with the 2011 can better decide if they want to buy the 2012. And no I can’t give you the 2012 edition free if you brought the 2011 edition, for much the same reasons that buying a banana does not entitle you to a lifetime supply of bananas.
After that lot is done, I’m finally going to be offering individual phone/Skype coaching and shooting for that some time in May. Many details of that to sort out as yet.
Depending on how that does and book sales go, full time MMSL may happen sooner rather than later. After that, I can do all kinds of fun stuff…
So for right now, if those bloggers or other media types wanting review copies of the 2012 Primer can email me that would be great. Athol(dot)Kay@Gmail(dot)com
Jennifer: So close to full time MMSL! Woo-hoo!
I mean, 15-20 lbs over, I can overlook, sure. I’m not looking for Adonis. but it’s rapidly getting out of hand. Then the way he comes onto me for sex, it’s like, here, I’ll feel your tits. Ready now? Uh, I guess!
Then his coworker shows up… I’m sure you know where this is going. Other guy kisses like he means it, like his entire body and soul mean it. and those eyes! My god, the look in his eyes is killing me. He never blinks. Then touches my face. omg.
I want to make it stop. OR, really, the rational, logical side of me wants to make it stop. The side of me that just wants to live doesn’t care whether living ends tomorrow, or sixty years from now.
Athol: Short answer…. Oh hell no!
Longer answer…. Alarm surprise statement extreme negatory. Suggest alternate course action improved probability positive outcome. Recommend deploy escape route transversing asteroid field.
Vox said exactly the same thing I did, but with less of a cool geeky style. (You’re welcome ladies!)
Look… you have to have positive reasons to get married, not concerns about why you shouldn’t. I think the scorecard is about 0-8 on that count.
And not for nothing, you really want to be especially careful on the issue of wife choice should you ever intend to join a military service. The divorce, infidelity and non-paternity risks are higher with military marriages than civilian ones. Unless you start off with a great woman, you should simply expect serious difficulties down the line.
Even with a great woman you’re going to have some long periods of walking uphill. There’s the obvious strain of deployments, uprooting constantly, and essentially what amounts to a difficult day to day family life. There’s going to be things that you’re just going to miss out on when you’re away. Your kid walking for the first time and stuff like that. There’s no way to buy those moments back.
Unless she’s actively saying that she’s down to be a military wife, and she actually has a genuine concept of what that means, I’ll bet it all comes to tears for you in the end if you marry her. It’s a job for her as much as it is for you.
Jennifer: Three years long distance before we married was enough for me. I couldn’t imagine Athol having to go away for a year at random being at all fun. I have a ton of respect and appreciation for those military spouses who do make it work and for those who serve in the military, but these two particular people really don’t seem to be good candidates for making it work together.
Athol: So did you find yourself snorting at the line that they were both virgins?
Jennifer: Yeah she’s not. Not even close.
Athol: Something something something dark side….. you have been well trained my apprentice…
Jennifer: Shoot me now.
Some basic framing for Phase Four of the MAP
Reader: Numbers 1 and 2 could be a deep blow to some wives. Number 1 might be hard for someone like OP’s wife to hear because she probably thinks that at 3x a week, they DO have a good sexual relationship or at least as good as she can manage. I wonder if these requirements will actually make her withdraw more but maybe that is the point(?). If she withdraws from the demands, he is free to leave?
Jennifer, since you imply you went through this, I wonder if you rolled up your sleeves and got to work on these things right away or did you have a period of shock and dismay where you withdrew before deciding to forge ahead?
Athol: Okay…. I got to immediately question how (2) “Hold up your end of the relationship” is going to be a “deep blow to some wives”? If that’s a deep blow to a wife, the husband is probably going to be well rid of her.
Circling back to the original post though, the husband was hotter than the wife, and the wife was already questioning him as to when he was going to pull the rug out from under her feet and divorce her to be with someone else younger and hotter.
What you have to understand is that those five points in the frame, aren’t actually increasing the threat level to the wife. She’s already imagining much worse than that and just waiting for it to happen. What that frame actually does is reassure her that there are objective and fair levels of behavior she can realistically perform, and she won’t be dumped even if there is someone younger and hotter available to her husband.
Or put another way. If you stick to your vows, I’ll stick to mine.
Part of what caused me to stumble into the realm of Game was the desire to seduce a particular someone else a few years back. It eventually became obvious that I would likely succeed in that goal if I wanted to advance things, and if not with her, with other women if I wanted to. However in fairness to Jennifer I had to admit that she was being quite sexual with me, was basically being just fine as a wife and mother, and generally still excited about being married to me. Cheating on her would genuinely make me the bad guy. So I didn’t. I also don’t toe punt kittens.
Which is not to say that was anything other than a confusing, awkward and painful time for the both of us. We’d had well over a decade of peaceful bliss together, and I went a bit Batshit Crazy on Jennifer aka Mid-Life Crisis and we came out the other side intact. In no small part MMSL is a happy side effect of that period. Jennifer and I are happier than we’ve ever been.
So ultimately I think our agreement together runs along those lines in the frame. Jennifer is being a great wife and I’ve got a healthy dose of “Pikachu I choose you!” running through my veins as well.
Jennifer: Points 1-4 are kind of the blueprint of Athol’s marriage expectations of me. I’ve never been “surprised” by him springing them on me…I know that’s what he expects. My expectations of him are very similar, with the addition of one that says “I expect you to be a good father and pay attention to the children”, and the part about being a good wife changed to being a good husband, which includes holding down a job and not making me a Star Wars: The Old Republic widow.