An update on Walkaway Wife Is Friendly and Likes Cash… (short summary, she abandoned the marriage to cheat on him and still wants his cash to keep flowing toward her. He moved on and has a new girlfriend, and now wayward wifey wants him back.)
Reader: What this all boils down to is that I was naive enough to think that we could be friends. But after reading your response and looking back on the last six months, I realized that you are right – she wasn’t my friend. Friendship is reciprocal, and friends respect each other’s need for personal space and boundaries.
Guess what happened two days ago, just after she had gotten back to [my town]? You’re going to be so shocked (sarcasm). Her boyfriend broke up with her (who was providing her with a place to stay and is the only other person in the city she knows besides me), and emailed me demanding a place to stay. Yes, demanding. Not even asking. She sent me an email that said, “I need a couch to stay on until you can fly me out of here. please call me asap.”
I’m done with it. I told her the rules, and I’ve been more than kind trying to help her get back on her feet and live her own life. My sister said I might just be the nicest man in the world. But I’m not going to be a chump and let her get away with trying to take more than she can get just because she thinks she can always manipulate me.
I sent her a very clear email telling her that I’m done being talked to like that and nobody owes her anything. And by very clear, I mean that the text “I do not want to talk to you, and I do not want to see you.” is it’s own paragraph, along with one other ones like “I’m filing the divorce. Do not come here, and do not contact me.”
…It wasn’t very nice.
I then blocked her phone number, blocked her email, and blocked her on Facebook. (Further complaints can be done via the legal system.) Oh, and she doesn’t have access to my building either. If she tries coming to my house the door man will kick her out of the building after nobody is willing to let her inside.
[edited legal discussion out as case is still pending]
Anyway, thanks for your advice. It was a bit of a reality check, and a good push to cut her out completely and get done with all of this. She wasn’t my friend, anyway. Sad, but I needed to hear the truth.
P.S. I wonder how shocked she was reading that email. This is the first time I’ve done something this harsh to her.
Athol: Thats an excellent response to her lol. I bet your new girlfriend LOVED it! It sounds like a huge step forward. Well done!
Reader: Thanks! I feel proud of myself for finally putting my foot down. As for the gf, let me put it this way – she felt like Princess Fiona after Shrek and Fiona get back from their honeymoon and Donkey is still hanging around bothering them. And I just got rid of Donkey. So yeah, she loved it.
It’s kind of sad though. This all would have gone so much easier for her if she didn’t push me and force me to push back (and slam the door). She was all happy with divorce until she realized that meant she had to lose me (and my help).
Athol: The takeaway point is pretty simple. Bullies of all descriptions don’t stop bullying you until you stop acting like prey. Being nice to a bully is acting like prey. So don’t be nice.