Male Sexual Dominance is Super-Effective, But…

Ben:  Athol, can you give one example of where you’ve firmly, alpha, told Jennifer something explicit that you want? Are you saying something like, “I need you to lick my X, and do it hard?” Sorry for being explicit but I have a hard time being that specific because I feel like I’ve told her so many times what I like that if she really cared she’d do it. Of course it’s not working.

Athol: There’s two things going on here, so lets separate them.

The first thing is understanding that asking her to do sexual things relies on her attraction to you to be effective. If she’s not into you, asking that she do things sexually for you will be met with strong resistance. If she is into you, you won’t need to force her to do anything because she’ll want to.

The second part is knowing that being dominant in the bedroom is attractive to most women.

However simply being dominant in the bedroom, isn’t enough to make your overall attractiveness to her irrelevant. Being Alpha / confident / strong / forceful in the bedroom is merely a boost to your attractiveness.

The confusion comes from some guys being right on the bubble of getting her interested in him sexually, when they add being dominant to their overall attractiveness, suddenly their wife is turned on and the sex starts up. The reports from these men is that “Being dominant in bed is super-effective!” “She wasn’t doing anything before, now I just tell her what to do and she does it!”  Unfortunately the guys struggling with low attractiveness to their wives try the dominance thing and typically get met with withering looks of wifely disgust and made to feel like they had attempted a poorly planned rape.

Or using an easily understandable Pokemon metaphor…

When you’re playing your Pikachu vs a Squirtle, all your electric attacks are going to be super-effective because a Squirtle is a water Pokemon. Playing an Electric Pokemon against a Water Pokemon is a great move because Water is weak to Electric.  However, if you have a Level 6 Pikachu and your opponent has a Level 82 Squirtle, you’re still going to get your ass kicked. Sure all your electric attacks are going to be super-effective, but it’s just not going to be nearly enough to overcome the difference in level.

So coming back to what I do with Jennifer…

I tell her to do all manner of things in bed all the time and it’s super-effective in that she happily complies. Suck this, touch that, come over here, climb on top, put your ass in the air and so on and so on. I wake up well before she does on weekends and on Sunday left a note in our bathroom that said, “Brush your teeth, put on your heels and text me when you’re ready.” About two-and-a-half hours later she texted me from the bathroom and we had some nice doggy style with her leaning over the counter in the bathroom facing the mirror.

That all sounds crazy easy for me, but then I also have a stockpile of structural attraction in place with Jennifer. Like I’m a Level 77 Pikachu and she’s a Level 69 Squirtle. I’m going to get what I want because everything I do is going to be super-effective. So ultimately everything comes back around to fixing your structural issues limiting your attractiveness to women in general by running the MAP. Level up bro.

Jennifer: Those stripper heels are ridiculous by the way.  I need a spotter. And no I won’t wear them in public even for Athol, but yes I will wear them for some naked-except-for-his-favorite-shoes sex.  (And what’s with the Pokemon metaphors?!  Should I be frightened that I know who Pikachu and Squirtle are?)


  1. Haahahahaha!!! SQUIRTle. He said “squirt.”

    Well?? Come on! As long as we’re being children… *snicker*

  2. I liked Pokemon and I tried to learn all the names of them I was halfway there when they added more freaking Pokemons! Fuck that. Never looked at the stupid TV show, played to video game and I gave away my pokeball…that’ll teach them :p.

  3. Good points. It doesn’t matter too much what you do if she’s not into you. Same if she is.
    Don’t know a think about Pokemon, but in real life, at some point, if you’re run the MAP well, it is time to be more specific about your own needs.

    I also think you can be polite about it, depending on the personality of your wife. Not everything has to be phrased in terms of a direct command or military order. You can make clear and specific requests that are polite, and also be clear about whether or not your needs are getting met in a variety of ways, not just in sex, and that helps your dominance and happiness level.

  4. Anony Mouse says:

    Hehe. I love your geeky analogies, Athol. :D

  5. If the bedroom is the only place he is giving alpha orders and he has no interest in running the MAP or adding more alpha in the relationship outside the bedroom, I don’t think it’s much of a surprise when he “typically gets met with withering looks of wifely disgust”.

    MMSL doesn’t seem to be about this or that, but this AND that. Not an on/off switch but a sliding scale. If the only time he asserts himself is in the bedroom but can’t bring himself to be assertive outside the bedroom, then he comes off as a beta-boy playing dress up. Not attractive.

  6. Mommy wants to be a MILF says:

    Hold on, now. How do you get the kids to leave you alone? Haven’t they figured out yet where mom and dad sneak off to at random times? I guess you can always say you’re “working” (it’s kinda true…)

  7. I’m going to try that one, great idea!

    I am always up before her with the kids and I am guessing the first thing she does is reach for her phone, the trick will be getting the kids occupied for a little while.

  8. By the way….

    A sexually dominate person who has low attraction to their partner is likely doing themselves more harm than good.

    Think about that person in your office who tries so hard to be liked, he/she ends up pushing conversation, pushing interaction and making things worse. Really he/she should be more concerned with making themselves a more attractive person to be around in the office first. Conversely, the person in the office that everyone loves, can go and initiate conversation with anyone in the office without much push back.

    Same thing.

  9. Great point Ponyboy. Those moments are cringe worthy.

  10. Seething Lurker says:

    Pikachu and Squirtle? Nerd level 87 dude. But the stripper heels in the bathroom drew me back in. High five to AK and Jennifer!

  11. FeralFelis says:

    Forget the birds and the bees talk with the sons!

    I’ll just print Level 77 Pikachu meets Level 69 Squirtle and they’ll be all set!! LOL!

    Athol, you are a riot! Jennifer, you are a saint! LOL! (and my hero…no heels higher than 3″ for me since I shattered my ankle in 14 places…)

  12. Haha, more than enough geekdom to go around, I see.

  13. anonymous says:

    just a quick question …. Does Jennifer have implants? I have started working out and I know i will be ”perker” because of that. I love my breasts as is but I am 32 and wondering if a couple years down the road if a boob job is something a woman should consider to keep her number up? I know I am sexy my SO loves my body and says he wouldn’t want me to have it done but I also know he is a breast man. I am a nice B cup right now but wouldn’t a nice full C cup or even a nice D cup up my number? He has cheated in the past with a fuller chested woman and since finding your post and making personal changes to up my game he is bending over backwards for me and doing things for me he has never done. I take as much blame as him for his affair because I wasn’t keeping up my end i.e. Depressed, not taking care of myself, not believing in my own worth, not meeting all his needs and not making my needs important … So i feel like he is defintly more into me now but i wanna keep it that way… So are implants a way to up a females game?

    Jennifer does not have implants. We’ve had two scary mammograms and biopsies and just no way we’d even consider putting in implants. The biopsy pain and recovery was bad enough. Personally unless you can point to a serious defect to be corrected, I’d not advise it. If you have good B’s, keep them.

  14. anonymous says:

    Thanks for answering and for the advice!

  15. A few nights ago I made a passing comment to my wife that I wanted to see her later that night in this sexy little nightie that she has but hardly ever wears.

    About 30 minutes after the kid was asleep she walked into the room wearing the nightie. Next up: heels.

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