In theory I’m off work today… so I can write productively.
Youngest has a touch of conjunctivitis so there was a call to the doctor to get a script. Racing to the pharmacy to pick up the script and then the patient teaching portion of the medication regime. So all very much like I was still at work being a nurse to teenagers. Bleh.
I did manage to make a detour into Goodwill as I’m a book hoarder and you never know what you find in there. It’s the books I didn’t know I was looking for that I seem to find there. Back home youngest showed little distress at the loss of a school day and was her usual angelic self and immersed in YouTube and the wonders of Avenged Sevenfold. Frankly avenging sevenfold seems a little excessive to me though, I mean a really thorough avenging should pretty much only need to be done once. Or does it sort of start slow and build up from each of the prior avengings? So say if someone murdered your wife, the first avenging is just pointedly parking them in at the grocery store, the second avenging something like prank calling their house at 3am for a whole week and by the time you’re up to the seventh avenging you’re doing stuff like holding them hostage and making them eat their own small intestine? That would be badass because by the time you’re up to the fifth avenging they’ve got to be seriously freaking out about what’s going to be coming after that. I might do six avengings and then just hold on the seventh… thus leaving them forever in the terror of imaging what the seventh horror would be.
So anyway, like I was saying, I went and got my youngest her eyedrops and some peach iced tea. I got some books from Goodwill. Youngest all happy on the computer and the sun was hitting the carpet in the dining room, so I pushed the chairs back out of the way, got a pillow and pretended to be a one of the cats. I read some of the book, but basically passed out asleep on the floor for about an hour and a half. Middle of the day napping somewhat unusual behavior for me.
I’m hungry and want to be petted. The sun moved and no longer hits the dining room floor. Why am I tormented so?
Didn’t write nuffing. Nuffing all day, and that’s okay.
I’m acutely aware that telling someone to improve half a dozen critical areas of their life, many of which may well take a couple years to complete, is a long exhausting mamoth task. MMSL is a marathon, not a sprint. So you can’t bust a nut and get it all done in a few weeks. You have to keep it all long consistently for your best results.
Added to that, a great deal of being sexy is simply having a lot of energy. The life of the party that all the girls want isn’t usually the guy that’s nursing a beer in the corner mumbling “I really cannot take it anymore. I’m so wasted from X Y and Z.” You’re meant to be cocky and funny, not cranky and… and … dammit look I can’t think of a word that rhymes with funny so I can say “You’re meant to be cocky and funny, not cranky and [brain-failure]” because I’m so f-ing tired and I can’t think straight.
So here’s the questions of the day. What gives you energy? What drains your energy?
The more you can do that gives you energy and makes you feel happier, the better off you are. The less you can do that drains your energy and makes you feel depressive, the better off you are. I get that there’s no instant magical fix for these things, you just have to try and make progress on righting them as you go.
Serendipitously the book I was reading was called, “Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow.” From the introduction… bolding mine.
“I write of this so that, at the outset, no one thinks I am suggesting that material rewards immediately flow out of the leap of faith which is to do one’s right livelihood. The reason the books title contains the phrase “The Money Will Follow” is precisely because we must do the work first, invest of ourselves first, seed faithfully in the small, stead, incremental ways of our chosen work first, and then – as a harvest of abundant crops naturally follows the seeding, watering and constant caring process, of seeds – the fruits of our efforts result.”
There is no quick fix if you have major structural problems in your ability to attract women. But you really can apply yourself and make things better over the long term. But it’s hard work some days more than others, and some days you just have to call in sick to yourself and take a nap.
Frantic. That’s the word I was looking for. You’re meant to be cocky and funny, not cranky and frantic. FML.