I have a policy of not writing blog posts that amount to whining about my day. So with that context in mind, for those still waiting for the 2012 Primer, please accept my apologies for it’s lack of appearance. It’s simply not ready to my satisfaction and that’s the bottom line. I’m kind of upset about it taking so long to be honest and it’s a much rougher experience to rework the material again than I thought it would be. It’s feels like I’m repeating a class I already passed. So while I can see how I can add stuff now and the book can definitely be polished, after that I’m running out of ideas. So the temptation is to just say the “2012” is the “Second Edition” and take a long nap.
Ironically January, February and March have been the 5th, 4th and 3rd best months of sales for the 2011 Primer and after the website upgrade if April holds to form this will be my best month of book sales ever. So it’s not like the 2011 edition is “broken” and worthless. My biggest concern is that I don’t want a long time reader who got the 2011 edition to feel punked if they get the Second Edition. Quality matters. You guys matter to me. Integrity matters.
Jennifer tells me I’m crazy for feeling bad of course. In the last just over a year I’ve written two books, held a full time job, got the old blog to a million visitors, massively upgraded the website, answered more email than I can count and it was all very silly there with TV and Radio after the first book launched. Incidentally TV and Radio coverage was worthless for sales and hits to the blog. Just worthless. The blog and word of mouth are the key here, by which I mean readers matter. By which I mean you matter.
Anyway… a year ago Jennifer and I were all but filing for bankruptcy and that was even after strip mining my 401k, checking the couch for change and deferring the taxes. If the Primer didn’t sell, we were going to be totally hosed. I seriously love my readers. Seriously, seriously, seriously love my readers. Which means my next news is kind of amazing…
…I’m quitting my day job.
I put my notice in for 5/31/12 to give them time to replace me and leave on the nice nice. My replacement starts in two weeks and I get to train them, so here goes nothing. It will have taken me two-and-a-half years from starting the blog to exiting, but I’m doing it. By May the only thing we’ll owe money on is the house and the book income is equal to my nursing income, so “How You Like Me Now!” All I’m gonna say is that the MAP works on your employer just as well as on your wife. It may take some time, it’s hard work, but it does work.
I’ve changed too. Two years back I wrote a post about trying to decide if I should go to a strip club as a birthday treat seeing I was turning 40. But honestly we were too broke to do anything like that lol. I’m 42 in a few days. I’m so much more content than ever before. I’m so alive and that matters too. I’ve never been so happy. I’m finally doing it.
And I’ve had lows too. Look I don’t mean to be morbid here, but you only get so much time to be alive. My father died and he spent decades doing a job that he didn’t want to do before breaking free of it. His last ten years were I think his happiest. Steve Jobs got cancer once and then went berserk creating iEverything and then got taken down early. I’ve spent a lot of time watching Christopher Hitchens on Youtube recently and he seems to have done some of his very best stuff shortly before the end too. Randy Pausch too. Why the fuck do people have to get cancer to want to do the stuff that really matters?
Oh and don’t freak out or nothing guys. I don’t have cancer and I feel fine. But I have this weird thing where I’m actually comforted that if I died the books would keep selling and Jennifer and the girls would be okay. I’m just still trying to cope with suddenly being promoted to being the family patriarch and it didn’t come with any kind of warning I paid attention to. I know I’m messed up still because I still can’t watch that damn Harry Potter movie where Dobby dies without crying. As if taking your daughter and her friends to the movies wasn’t awkward enough to begin with. So fuck you Dobby.
Don’t wait. Don’t keep doing the same old shit day after day that you hate. Don’t stall for time. You don’t need cancer for permission. Fuck waiting for the Make a Wish people, they aren’t coming to your house with a shortstop and a free Playstation.
Anyway… I can’t stop watching this video either.
Just go do it. No one else gives a shit if you don’t.