Reader: Athol, I need help letting my husband know that I would like to try some hotter/more Alpha sex. I am attracted to him and we have a good sex life, but sometimes it is too “nice.” He has your book, but that message hasn’t taken hold. I don’t want to seem to be criticizing him in any way. How can I introduce this idea?
Athol: The problem is that he’s likely so ingrained as a Nice Guy that while he mentally may understand you might like that sort of sex… he doesn’t believe it.
You’ve probably tried talking about it, so now is the time to try action. It’s one thing to say “I’d like to try that in bed some time.” and another thing in the middle of having sex to say “Pull my hair!” and look like you’re really into the idea of having your hair pulled. You can also do that sort of thing by text. Just say what you want to happen that night.
You can also go to an adult store and come back with something suitable to tie you up or swat your ass or whatever.
Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and say what you want in the middle of sex.