Finally A Blogroll

I’m finally getting to finishing off some of the unfinished business with the blog switch to WordPress. Yesterday I spent about eight hours editing around the first 200 posts that got their formatting grunched in the switch. Thankless drudgery for the win, I didn’t think anything could make me miss nursing lol.

Today I spent eight hours grinding through my feedreader and moving stuff around and making it more useful. Culled out about a hundred dead blogs into a graveyard folder. What’s listed below is my list of blogs that are still currently active, and in some way shape or form writing about sex and relationships from a Game / conscious / Red Pill viewpoint.

You might like some of them, you might not. Below is the cut/paste from my blogroll page.  The blogroll page will be updated and amended at random, though being active and basically on topic is the critera for survival and addition.

As a caution to new readers. Please be aware that doing nothing but reading 50+ blogs a day isn’t making a positive change in and of itself. They are helpful, but you need to stay in action. Also some of these blogs are far darker in tone than MMSL. I’m by no means a Pollyanna, but staying positive is usually more productive than being negative. Stay positive and productive and you’ll get your best results.


Close relatives to MMSL. If you like MMSL you’ll probably like these blogs too. They aren’t MMSL clones but all have a strong Game + Pro-Marriage/LTR bent. A couple of these are “I’m running the MAP” in content as well. So shout encouragement from the sidelines or something.

The Red Pill Room

Average Married Guy Losing Beta For More Sex

Gaming My Wife

Phase Frame

Taking Back The Reins

The MMSL extended family… including black sheep. All these blogs deal with sex and relationships from a Game/conscious perspective. I don’t agree with all that is written, and a some of it isn’t for me, but there’s nuggets of gold all over. Grab a shovel and start digging. Just use your own judgment.

Aleph One    Alpha Game    Approach Anxiety    BbSezMore    Life: The Rough Draft    Candidly Candice    Chateau Heartiste    Christian Men’s Defense Network    Dalrock     Danny From 504     Freedom Twenty Five    Game For Omega’s    Genuine Approach    Good Strong Men    Haley’s Halo    Hawaiian Libertarian    Hidden Leaves    Hooking Up Smart    I Will Never Say No In 2012    Just Be A Man About It    Krauser’s PUA Adventure    One Man’s Perspective    Picking Up Women With Sleaze    Pill Red Condition Yellow    Post Masculine    Roosh    Samplexus    Solve My Girl Problems    The Alpha Persona    The Badger Hut    The Left Half    The Private Man    The Rational Male    The Quest For 50    The University of Man    Willy Wonka’s Adventures    Yohami

Two Chicks One Ukulele

I recently post a post called Relative Sex Rank vs True Sex Rank which basically said younger women are hotter than older ones. I know, shocking huh. I thought about following that post up with something like Oxygen Is Important For Carbon-Based Lifeforms, or Don’t Try And Learn About Gravity Using Really Heavy Objects.

Instead I’ll follow it up with Garfunkel and Oates. Nothing takes the edge off of existential pain like a ukulele.

Jennifer: I love this song!

Love, Beer and Chocolate Cake Theory 101

I got told today from a friend that I’ve successfully managed to destroy love. That once all is said and done, by tearing apart love into it’s hormonal and neurotransmitter bits, it’s all just not the same anymore. He wishes he knew his wife loved him for just him, rather than because he’s running the MAP and doing X, Y and Z.  I think there’s an element of truth to all that. It’s a little like I’ve explained how a magic trick works and now you don’t get to enjoy watching the trick anymore. The wonder is gone, the amazement is gone, the delight is gone.

Love is a little bit like eating chocolate cake. Everyone likes to eat chocolate cake and most of you showed up here hoping to get a slice. Instead you find yourself in a research kitchen where we mostly do stuff like tear chocolate cakes apart to see how they’re made. There’s discussion about flour and eggs and milk and how hot the oven has to be. Tips about greasing the pan and how to ice it. Writing about the shelf-life of chocolate cake makes people angry for some reason too. By the time we’re done, you’re all so sick of hearing about how chocolate cake is made, you’re starting to not want to hear or see another chocolate cake in your life.

Just give it a minute. It’s like you’re at the train station complaining it’s not very much like your destination.


…it’s all going to sink in and one day you’re going to just start throwing all the ingredients together. You’ll mix it just right and out it in the oven at the perfect temperature. The timer will ding and out comes this amazingly perfect chocolate cake. When you put it in your mouth, you aren’t going to taste Chocolate Cake Theory 101. All you’re going to taste is the delicious, delicious, chocolate cake. Warm, gooey and sweet. Nom nom nom nom.

The trouble is right now you’re not experiencing the end result of learning all this stuff just yet. You’re not at the end point of running your MAP. Right now it all feels like an abstraction and you’re also not getting all the love and sex and attention you want from her. So when you run your MAP and you find that level of interest you want coming to you, it’s going to feel good. The fact you have to do X, Y and Z to make her pay attention that way, is really no different than you having to turn the oven on to 350, use three eggs and exactly two cups of flour.

What you’re struggling with is moving from an unconscious relationship, to a conscious relationship. In an unconscious relationship “love” is the happy circumstance of two people getting along very well just doing whatever they do naturally when they are in a relationship. However people aren’t static and people change over time, what used to work perfectly well without trying, may not work so well over time. After a while it may even be counter-productive. Your relationship may be failing as “love” flickers out and dies.

That’s why you’re here, to unlearn what you were doing when you were unconsciously doing wrong and to learn what you were unconsciously doing right. It’s a lot of mental effort, but once you learn this stuff, you can consciously do what works in your relationship. There will be a lag between learning it, doing it and finally feeling it. But you will feel it.

It’s an amazing thing to learn all this. As I’ve said before, you are not some disembodied soul that is the “real you” riding around in your body. Your higher-level sapien brain is a late adaptation to work as a tool for your Body Agenda. Your brain and your body are one and the same thing, your body is the real you. Hormones and neurotransmitters carry information back and forth inside your brain like a big meat computer. The information is your thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings are real world physical objects.

I know that’s a lot to mentally grasp, but consider that psychotropic medication comes in little tiny pills, and those little tiny physical objects when swallowed have the express purpose of changing the way people think and feel. If that doesn’t make your head spin I don’t know what will. Likewise, anyone who has taken a drink of alcohol has experienced the same change in mood and expression as well. You throw alcohol into a carbon based meat computer and it gets a little loose and playful. Add more and it gets mean. Add too much and it tries to eject as much alcohol as it can in a big old mess and then shuts down and reboots in safe mode. Beer is a physical object and is essentially a psychotropic medication in liquid form.

When you drink beer, you can’t choose to not be affected by the alcohol. You can choose not to drink the alcohol in the first place, but once you drink it, it’s in your system and will have an effect on you whether you want it to or not. Likewise, when you get to the end point of your MAP, and you’re finally with someone that loves you, has good sex with you and likes you, you’ll be affected by that whether you want it to or not.

Sigh… watch the Frenchman again people…

… and just enjoy the chocolate cake.

Edit:  And apparently chocolate cake was in my head because Helen Fisher said it first. Damnit!

The Most Interesting Man In The World

I remember seeing Empire Strikes Back in the movies at age ten and just being blown away by the reveal that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father. I seriously had NO freaking clue it was coming. Of course, know we all know the story and watching Vader kicking Luke’s ass just enough to try and break him, but not kill him, isn’t as powerful anymore.

Buuuuut… 10,000 people are born everyday in America who don’t know that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father.

For good or bad, the father-kid relationship is emotionally charged. Do your best to make that a good emotional charge.

99% of the Game stuff that works on wives and everyone else, works just the same with your kids. Yeah sure you have to be Beta and take care of them and provide your basic comforts, but that just makes you boring old chump dad with a wallet. Add some Alpha into your actions and overall behavior. Then you’re the cool dad that does stuff. Your kids love you, but they want to be proud of you too. They want to be able to have a conversation with their friends where they use the line, “Well my dad….” and follow it with something cool about you. Your kids may not always be talking to you in anything greater than one word sentences, but they are always talking about you.

Also if you’re a boy, most of the coolest things in childhood happen immediately after your dad says, “Don’t tell your mother.” One time after dad said that, we had a second-and-a-half of airtime in the car. I shit you not. Though as a caveat I do have to mention you probably shouldn’t go all Dukes of Hazard yourself with your kids in the car in 2012. The damn airbags go off with just the slightest jostle these days. We’re from New Zealand, the national motto is “She’ll be right mate.”  Also Dad had thousands of hours of motorsport experience under his belt, the gravel road was fairly empty and if it all went wrong, it was only about a thirty or forty foot drop off onto the rocky shore below covered with several hundred mating bull seals.

(Huh… I just remembered that was in fact my first official driving lesson.)

What Would Jennifer Do?

Following on from yesterday’s post, I’m pretty much assuming there’s a bunch of female readers feeling some combination of nausea and dread. You’re hitting forty and your Sex Rank is really starting to head in the direction of down, while your husband’s is still floating in the direction of up. Any minute now he’s going to dump you, or sneak out for a double scoop of 22-year-old and act like nothing happened.

Okay knock that off ladies, don’t run out and buy a box of tissues and cats just yet. Breathe into the bag for a bit.

Husbands are not that hard to manage. All you have to do is feed them, make sure you basically contribute to the creation of the home and family life, and act like you really enjoy doing things involving their penis. Seriously, that’s about it. It’s really kind of rare that guys walk away from that sort of deal for a 22-year-old that, (1) can’t put a meal on the table without a cell phone, (2) does not understand the difference between a credit card and a debit card because they both say VISA, and (3) apparently only knows one sexual position called “starfish”.

Look we know you’re not 22-years-old. We know. We know. We know and we don’t care as long as we’re getting food, a home and sex. The thing that does you in is when you give up on yourself and just let your appearance slide, like your diet consists of nothing but doughnuts and meth. If 1984 called and wants it’s eyeshadow back, that’s probably something to work on as well. Don’t fall asleep in a tanning booth. Go to the dentist and get that tooth fixed. Are there not three hundred women’s magazines advising this stuff already?

Anyway, just age gracefully and get it on in the sack. You can still do the Starfish position once in a while, but do it because you’re tied down and blindfolded or something awesome.

Having gotten thousands upon thousands of emails from married men over the last few years, I can assure you that their first preference is that their marriage works out. They just want the food, the home and the sex with you. It’s when any or all of that isn’t working out, and they’ve tried to get that for several years, that’s when the big red exit sign on the front door starts lighting up. Then when their first preference isn’t a winning option anymore, that’s when other women start looking really good. When that happens, that’s when they start figuring out who the hottest woman is they can get themselves into. If they have a choice between a 24-year-old and a 42-year-old to start a new long term relationship with, the 24-year-old has the huge advantage. Namely gravity defying breasts and she doesn’t do the thing where she pees a little when she sneezes.

The typical husband getting tray-ed, maid and laid, from a woman aging gracefully, is definitely going to notice young hotties in the general area, but typically isn’t going to blow up his good thing either. Especially if he knows his good thing is going to big time blow up at him for it. Have a backbone about that. Don’t just run up the white flag and cave in because he glanced at some chick with glitter in her cleavage. That just means he has a pulse and a penis, which are good things and completely natural.

So, routing back to the title. What would Jennifer do? Easy. She’d do her husband.

Disclaimer: Jennifer went to bed very early tonight as she has a 5am start tomorrow. Thus she hasn’t proof read this post. Which is how I got away with having her name in the title lol. Also I suspect I’m on my own for dealing with hate mail related to the phrase “tray-ed, maid and laid.” My defense is that I’m obnoxious.