My eyes are bleeding from researching blog widgets and crap these last three days. I’m fried. Jennifer is very supportive of MMSL, but I’m very much the writer of the two of us. So I threw her some softball questions and took a nap…
Having read and edited every single MMSL post over the last two-and-a-half-years, what have you learned from it all?
That I am a very (very, incredibly) lucky person to be married to Athol! No, really…we have a very good relationship that has the lovey dovey aspects as well as the realization that a relationship takes effort, communication and time together to make it work. I have learned about the “dark side” of people cheating on their spouse, or people putting no effort into their sex lives and growing apart. It’s sad but a part of a lot of people’s lives, and I’m glad they have a place here to ask questions and get feedback and practical advice. I’ve learned that it feels good to share what works for us and what we’ve learned in our marriage…even if it does cause the occasional uncomfortable conversation at work lol. (No, coworker lady, I’m not a sex slave. I’m not having my intimate life and marriage splashed all over the internet against my will. Really, it’s all good…)
Do you have a favorite post?
Well the pants post is of course legendary. Being a practical, needs it all spelled out for her kind of a girl, I also in general enjoy the reader email posts that offer the reader’s story, followed by practical advice that really works. (action, people, not just words!)
What’s it like now Athol is full-time MMSL?
I am not used to saying “my husband is an author” yet when someone asks me what my husband does for a living. It is pretty exciting but somewhat unnerving at the same time…the whole working for yourself/being your own boss thing is very cool and I’m proud of him, but yeah…it doesn’t come with health insurance or a guaranteed amount in your paycheck every week. I am totally not complaining…just saying it’s taking some getting used to. It’s nice to have him based at home rather than commuting for two hours a day, and to have him happier and less stressed because he’s doing something he’s passionate about is fabulous.
Don’t you feel exposed by having your sex life online like this?
It’s funny, I only rarely have that “oh my god, people are reading about our sex life” feeling. I think it’s mostly because truly, I love you all…but I’m never going to be face to face with 99.999% of you! If you were all my neighbors opening your windows at night in hopes of spying on some loud, raucous sex that would be different! Our family and friends know about the blog and the books, but in general it’s all TMI, so they are happy for us but not hanging on every word. Plus, I have editorial powers so if there’s something that I’m really not comfortable with, Athol will edit things down to something that’s comfortable for me. It’s all very strange, considering that I started out as a very naive and shy wife, and that I have the “good girl” reputation at work still to this day.
What’s the best thing about MMSL?
There’s the non-selfish best thing…I’m so glad that there’s a place for people to find help in fixing, resuscitating, or enriching their marriages and LTR’s. I’m glad that Athol’s phone dings all day with emails coming in from people who have questions or are thanking him for writing material that is helping their marriage and lives. Then there’s the selfish best thing…It’s wonderful to see my husband finally doing what he loves to do full time, getting a charge out of helping people, and getting challenged by the questions and comments. The interaction with readers really spurs him to think about new, different ways to help people succeed in their relationships.
Do you wish anything was different?
Lol I wish he was a morning writer instead of an evening writer! He has his best ideas and creative energy in the evenings…so my routine is to fall asleep on the couch half an hour before he’s done writing, wake up and edit his post, then go to bed and screw like wabbits.
More writing, some traveling and speaking, and lots more sex. (We have a responsibility to uphold here people…)
Athol: Lol I get to postscript Jennifer for a change! I think we’ve both grown into much stronger people. Jennifer is still a sweet natured good girl, but there’s much less tolerance for other peoples nonsense these days. Considering I’ve been writing about not letting yourself get taken advantage of in your marriage for the last two-and-a-half years, I believe I’m doing mind control wrong. Which is ironic as we get the occasional nutcase who thinks Jennifer is in need of serious rescue from my evil clutches. (We only play that game every second Tuesday.)