Athol: So I got the TSA patdown today, dude very careful to try and start explaining to a patdown virgin what was about to happen to me. I just cut him off with blunt “I’m a nurse just do it.” and gave him direct eye contact. He looked nervous and unsure of himself after that lol. Anyway, one minute full body massage, surprisingly relaxing. Three testicle jostles. I thought I was at the Men’s Warehouse.
Anyway, zonked from a day of travel, so here’s a reader story…
Reader: Hi Athol, I’ve read your blog from front to back. Everything on it has struck a nerve.
I started out with a vague feeling that my wife might be cheating (she wasn’t) which lead me to the DeadBedrooms sub-reddit on reddit. Comments in one of the posts there lead me to MMSL. I’m glad I followed it: MMSL and Game are (slowly) turning my marriage around.
Everything has been great in my 15-year marriage except for the sex. After reading your blog I could see every mistake I’ve made in our relationship, and why being nicer to her didn’t make her respond the way I thought it would. Why giving her flowers when she was cranky with me only made her crankier (too much Beta). Why helping more around the house didn’t lead to her feeling more amorous (although she did appreciate it). With just some slight nudges using game (adding more Alpha) our relationship is getting better. Within the first 24 hours my wife had asked me to sit on the sofa next to her to cuddle, sought me out for a kiss, and told me she loves me: things that she almost never does. Every time I think I’m wasting my time following the advice on MMSL, she turns around and responds in a way that you’ve predicted. She’s been much more affectionate in the past month since I started this, and I have high hopes for more improvements in the future.
I’ve been reading everything I could about game and have even begun (secretly) to read my wife’s romance novels. Do yourself a favor: If your wife reads romance novels then read some of them yourself. They’re textbook examples of what women want (it seems so obvious now). If she reads very many, it’s likely you’ll be able to discern the type of man that turns her on.
It might just be confirmation bias, but now that I see the whole Alpha/Beta theory written out, I see it everywhere. When I see someone complaining that their SO doesn’t want them, I now immediately wonder what they’ve done to MAKE their SO want them. If your woman isn’t into you, it’s not their fault, it’s yours: you aren’t attractive enough. Become more attractive! Work on your displays of high value: hit the gym, become more confident, and/or earn more money.
The latest example that I’ve run across of the Alpha/Beta theory was when my teenage daughter had a slumber party recently, and my wife (who is unaware of Game concepts) overheard the girls talking about the boys in their school. What struck me about the conversation that she relayed to me was that the girls were categorizing the boys into two groups: “Hot & Mean” and “Not-hot & Nice.” There couldn’t be a better example of the Alpha/Beta theory, as interpreted by 13 year old girls. My eyes are open. Now I have to figure out how to use this new found knowledge to help my daughter find a boy who is both “Hot & Nice” and proper husband material (eventually, right now I’m happy that she’s sticking with slumber parties).
Thank you for writing the blog! I wish you continued success!
Athol: Thanks. I think it’s interesting to see how the 13-year-old girls react to what attracts them. At 13 they simply have no awareness of what would make a good long term partner, so they don’t consider Beta Traits in a boy at all. All they react to is the pure Alpha display of the boys. The same sort of thing that attracts girls to boys, attracts women to men. Pay attention to that and add enough Beta to be a viable long term partner and you’re golden.