Reader: I have been reading your blog for a bit now. I learned some good things here but there was a underlying theme that I didn’t like that I couldn’t pin point. Today I realized what it was. You have no respect for your wife. You find it okay to size up a woman and even seemed to have considered if things might get out of hand but you never step back and cut it off. (you can’t use this post of a example of cutting it off because you didn’t. You simply stopped liking the other woman because she writes incorrectly.) You seem to leave it to Jennifer to tell you that it is going too far. It almost seems that if Jen was open to swinging or you having a side thing then you would take her up on it; you know, because JEN said it was alright.
How does one develop a crush if you are married? It is like you are considering what you might get out of a relationship even though you are supposedly devoted to Jen. I don’t know. Something does not seem right here.
I thank you for the advice you put up.
Athol: As an important aside, the events of that post were 8-10 years ago, so what I did then and what Jennifer and I would do now is quite different.
Amongst other things, MMSL is my effort at all purpose redemption.
I’ve not been a good guy. I’m a regular guy that’s done some questionable things and would probably have done some even more questionable things if I had a greater skill with women at the time of opportunity. I got into learning about Game not to save my marriage, but to explore cheating on my wife. But I also read over everything and part of my research into infidelity revealed the true horror of being cheated on. Jennifer is a good woman and in the end I didn’t have the heart to do that to her. I do love her. But I’d still done some less than stellar things over the years. For me the worst part of taking the Red Pill was realizing that I was in fact not the good guy I thought I was, that I had trampled on Jennifer and she was in love with me the whole time I was starting to check out on her. I was ashamed of myself.
Jennifer and I had experimented with softswing very briefly in the first few years of our marriage. I was very interested in it and Jennifer just didn’t like the reality of it, so we stopped. One of the things about opening up your marriage is once you open it up, pandora’s box doesn’t close easily… if at all. It took me about 10-12 years to come to peace with not swinging. If Jennifer gave me the green light now to have someone on the side, it would only be because she no longer loved me.
I developed a crush on someone, because she had cleavage and admired me. That’s about it. I always thought people that said “it just happened and I didn’t mean it to go this far” were full of crap. Then it just happened to me… but it’s the how far it goes part that determines how full of crap you are.
Through all of our ups and downs though, we’ve always had a steady sexual connection. The thing about us being sexual with each other everyday barring illness or injury is 100% true. I think it’s made all the difference for us. We’ve also been able to see how we both have played a role in our greatest mistakes together. We’ve been angry with each other, but never taken it to insults and names. One of the things we’re discovered for us at least, is that honesty and openness is the best way to banish all the little thoughts of doing misdeeds in the shadows. Jennifer for her part has become tougher and stronger and stands up for herself far better now.
We’ve adjusted and are still learning and adjusting.
Jennifer: Nobody is perfect, and if I accept that about people in general I have to accept that about my husband too. Now he is using his powers for good.
Anakin, if one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects, not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the Jedi. If you wish to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace a larger view of the Force. -Palpatine
- Coming Soon(ish): The Marriage Action Plan Right now I have 48 pages of handwritten scrawl lined...