Too Much Information About My Orgasms

**** TMI Warning ****

Times change and so can your sexuality.

In my twenties the rule I gave to Jennifer was, “Touch the penis, make the penis happy.” Meaning that if she started playing with my cock, I 100% expected a progression to orgasm. Didn’t matter how that orgasm came about, but it really had to happen or she’d be trying to sleep next to amped up horny man who wasn’t able to sleep. Beware the Cockzilla.

Plus in my twenties my balls were off limits for touching. I got zero enjoyment from any ball fondling, instead just feeling physically uncomfortable like I was experiencing a 1% strength kick in the nuts.  Ass was fairly off limits too, just weird feeling, so no thanks unless you’re a doctor and I’m in your office for something specifically for ass related.

If Jennifer wanted to just use some lube and lay back while I climbed on top and had a quickie, that was a win. Athol tired. Athol sleep now…

In my thirties, the rule of “Touch the penis, make the penis happy”, remained in full effect. However my balls at some point became quite pleasurable during sex, most particularly from a very gentle tugging away from my body. Likewise having my ass played with started getting quite nice and prostate massages got me some amazing orgasms.

And still if Jennifer just wanted to lay back and let me have some fun for a quickie, two thumbs up from me.

In my forties, my balls have become something that simply have to be played with for me to get my best orgasms. They have also become receptive to slightly rougher play… I’m not talking safety concern BDSM porn rough, but Jennifer riding me reverse cowgirl and actually squeezing my balls… I think she does it gently but I don’t really know because holy crap it feels amazing and I get this deep full groin rush from it. I haven’t asked too many questions.

Ass play though for some reason has fallen away. Still do the prostate thing once in a very great while, but that’s about it. No idea why.

The most interesting thing though, is I have become highly aware of my body and emotional reaction to Jennifer based on how many days I am from last orgasming with her. The further it goes, the higher my sexual tension gets and the more romantically inclined I feel toward her. We really only discovered this by playing some edging games designed around a goal of me not cumming for several days to then cover Jennifer in a serious moneyshot. By the time I’d been bought to the brink of orgasm 2-3 times a day… for five days… I was all but deliriously in love with her. I would look at her like a cat keeping an eye on a mouse. I would become instantly, breathlessly hard from just kissing her. A ten second kiss would have me leaking pre-cum. I kid you not.

Suddenly “Touch the penis, make the penis happy” doesn’t work as a rule. Suddenly Jennifer offering to use lube and let me have a quickie isn’t appealing at all. Instead of it being loving and giving to me, it seems more and more like the dreaded Starfish position. Which really isn’t fair to Jennifer because she does cuddle and hold me and obviously likes it for what it is, she’s just not seeking an orgasm that night. It’s a sort of GFE Starfish lol.


…after nearly eighteen years of marriage, we basically have dispensed with some of the old rules for a month long trial. No more touch the penis rule. No more GFE Starfish. Jennifer can edge me as often as she likes and I have enough control to let her dictate when and where the big booma goes off. I get amped up over a few days and the finale is beyond amazing compared to a day 1 romp. The caveat being that my control does have limits and if it goes on too long Cockzilla pays a visit and he’s short on conversation. And no… no stupid ass chastity devices or other bullshit, I do like splurting cum at Jennifer and she likes that too. It’s more of a timing and pacing thing now. It’s actually so wonderful to feel giddy in love again, I get this compulsion to hold her hand when we walk now.

But to myself in my twenties, what I’m doing now would have been utterly confusing to think about. I guess somehow we got… older.

Jennifer:  I remember the “please touch my balls” talk lol.  And I have to sometimes remind myself that the “touch the penis, make the penis happy” rule doesn’t exist anymore…it’s a mindset shift for me!  These are instances that illustrate the fact that things change over time, but if you don’t talk about them you’ll never know!  Don’t be afraid to tell your partner that you’d like to try something you’ve never wanted to try before! Plus I kinda like having the powah to summon Cockzilla…  


  1. You guys sure can make me laugh.

  2. What do you have against the starfish position?

  3. The reason why masturbation is a bad idea for men most of the time, especially when trying to do pickup is because of the hormonal buildup that happens when you don`t. Edging is a bit different but related.

  4. GREAT POST! Seriously, this is what all marriages should be. Thank you for your frankness. Love you both!

  5. OffTheCuff says:

    Interesting. Back when we were first married, I preferred to go about once a week because of how much stronger the builds up was, but this caused problems since the Mrs. Prefers to go every other day, minimum. For the last few years we have somehow settled on daily, or maybe skipping one day a week. I wonder if edging would work. The problem here is we are so bonded, that she feels unfulfilled if I don’t come in or on her. Ideas?

  6. Great post. My mileage varies, totally unsurprisingly. For me — male, mid-fifties — it emphasizes the importance of taking the red pill sooner rather than later. Things change as we age; guys change in guy-ways and girls change in girl-ways. The earlier the husband starts his MAP, the greater the benefits/likelihood of developing physical and emotional intimacy with his lover, and deepening their relationship as they adapt, together, to the new.

    (OTOH, better — much better! — late than never. Mrs. mgwk got served a variant of the Phase 6 ultimatum last week. Paradise it ain’t, yet our trajectory has been steadily improving ever since I discovered MMSL. She chose intimacy-‘n-sex and she chose me, hooray. The journey continues…)

  7. TMI alert: I’m not allowed do the starfish. My husband says that if I’m not in the mood, but want to do something just for him, it’s a HJ/BJ or he’ll take care of himself. Anything else makes him feel like I’m just lying there, resenting him.

  8. I am getting used to my guy not wanting to come every time. He loves to build it up, and I had a hard time with that at first. “Don’t you want to come too?” Because my experience is mostly with one other person, and his is rather … considerable, I was concerned I wasn’t doing enough, or doing it right, or, God forbid, not attracting him, and asked that question. “Good God, no, woman. I love what we do together. I just like to be on the edge and let it build up.” This post reinforces that for me, that your tastes change over time. Thank you, Athol and Jen, for being so frank (TMI alert! lol) because that’s not a question/concern I even realized I had, but the sense of relief is there upon reading this.

  9. When I was in Dr. Glover’s mens group last year he had us all try an experiment where the men could have sex as often with their wives/girlfriends but no cumming for a month! My wife really got into it and we lasted 3 weeks until I couldn’t hold it one session. Obviously she came many times! I think it’s a little easier if you are older. There was no way that I could do that in my 20’s. It’s helpful on two fronts, you learn control and it’s a fun game and something different to shake things up a bit!

    On the masturbation thing, I was a bit addicted to it and watching porn for several years. It does kill desire if you do it every day. If you are single and not in a relationship, I think once or twice a week is OK to keep things in condition, but in an LTR it should be infrequent. I do have an occasional strong desire to do it and sometimes I cave in, but it’s only every couple of months and the rest of the time it’s sex with the wife! Things change as the years go on…

  10. I’m the one who likes to do the edge play in our house. I can orgasm every time, but about half the time I hold back on purpose, just for this reason.

  11. Senior Beta says:

    This is a Roosh worthy post. And from marrieds. Gives old married guys a real ray of hope. Thanks for this one. It will get posted in the house.

  12. A little different perspective here. That kind of teasing over a long period just makes me crabby. In fact, simply not having sex for more than a couple of days at a time makes me crabby, bitchy, etc. Masturbation helps take the edge off, but it really doesn’t substitute for the real thing. Fortunately my sex drive is strong enough that I am multi-orgasmic so even masturbating a couple of times a day (when I’m really horny) doesn’t slow me down when it’s time to get it on with the missus. However, I do like it as part of foreplay. Like if you take that couple of days/weeks and compress it into a couple of hours I’m in heaven! (Wash, rinse, repeat – literally. :)

  13. Mignonne says:

    The love feelings you describe by not completing the act for days can be described at the Reuniting website. Very interesting info on neuro chemistry even if you do not practice karezza.

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