When The Dark Side Offers You A Cookie

Athol:  I said if you follow the MAP, there will always be The Test…

Here’s how it plays out. You sister-in-law, your wife’s best friend, your female work friend, the chick behind the counter at Starbucks, one of the Mom’s at your kids school… say she’s a 6 or a 7. See before when you were a 6, you were off the market and she wasn’t interested in you. Pulling you off your wife would have taken a lot of effort, and lets face it, you were just a 6.

But now… now you’re an 8, that’s a whole different deal. She’s interested in you. She can’t help it as attraction isn’t a choice. She may not even be consciously aware of it, but you are far more interesting to her sexually now. Women throw off dozen’s of small signals of sexual interest that the alert man can notice…

Here’s one of the forum members talking about his test..

Eagleclaw:  Working the MAP – things are better with wife but not yet where I want them to be – but a work in progress which is all good. Here’s the scary part. I’ve started attracting other people more so. To the point that I had one family friend sending propositions, pics, the whole bit. She’s hot, I’m hugely attracted, and it was very difficult to get my head on straight and not proceed. Cuz, my wife is more immune to me that others. So I’m not getting that kind of attention from her yet. This other person hit EVERY button perfectly. Consumed my thoughts, imagination and said everything any man would want to hear. In the end, it’s still a temptation…. but I used it to make myself more aware of what I was missing with my wife… and applied that enthusiasm back toward my wife.

My point is this. Just as Athol points out…. this is a likely situation to come. And as much as you think you are ready… or can control yourself. If you have been lacking something for a long time and someone mounts a coordinated attack hitting on your weak spots simultaneously….. it is very very difficult to not get caught up in it. This serves as a reminder to expect it… be ready for it… maybe use it a little to gains some sex rank… but be very mindful and careful. It’s sometimes hard to stay on course.

Athol:  So here’s the question…some now? Or can you stick it through to a hopefully better ending?

And note that Eagleclaw doesn’t even seem to be looking for particular attention from this woman. His disinterest is being received as some sort of aloof game lol. She’s hitting on him. If you have the structural stuff in place and running smooth, women will be likely to approach you.


  1. *cough* It’s like some sort of super power.

    Good luck Eagleclaw. I hope it works out for you.

  2. To Eaglecalw: let the force be with you

  3. What’s wrong with taking the cookie? Lets say a man has been suffering with a sexless marriage with a fat unattractive cow for years. Let’s also say the man is trapped in this marriage for reasons such as children, financial, or religion obligations. For the sake of debate I would like to argue some of Heartiste’s points.

    As long as the man can avoid falling in love, why not take the cookies with an assortment of foxy, hot, young lovers while encouraging the wife to lose weight? Wouldn’t that be the ultimate alpha? If he can avoid falling in love with one of the hotties, he can remain in his marriage. Because isn’t it true that a wife would fear more on a betrayal of love over physical infidelity? If he is hitting on all cylinders, has working penis, it seems terribly unfair to needlessly suffer in a sexless marriage to a woman who had hit “the wall” years ago? If he has to remain in the marriage, and the wife will not respond to the MAP because she know he is trapped, what else can he do?

    Just wondering.

  4. @SunDance – oh it’s unquestionably a possiblity, but I think it needlessly complicates the MAP and creates the situation where any hope of a successful outcome of the MAP is decreased. Should you ever be caught cheating, there’s near zero chance of fixing the marriage in this situation. Plus the other woman is a factor you have near zero control over and getting out of that relationship is not always possible without major drama… even after your wife is getting along better with you.

    Holding the moral highground is active leverage in the MAP. If you’re getting increasingly attractive and pulling attention from other women, the wife will always suspect cheating and go crazy looking for it. Not finding it makes your overall strategy stronger. Once you cheat, your Beta points are all but wiped out.

    Cheating turns you from the partner that is being wronged, into the partner that is wrong. It’s a much weaker position.

  5. Gosh, those cookies smell delicious.

    The way I handle this (and I’ve had five or six brushes with females who thought that they could lure me away from Mrs. Ironwood) is to immediately tell my wife.

    Let that sink in a moment . . . okay? Good. Yes, I tell her immediately, all the salient details, without fear of chastisement. Why? Because the first time this happened, a few years ago, I was in the mid-stages of a kind of proto-MAP, and had dropped some pounds, put on some muscle, and without even realizing it up my rank by a point.

    So me and a male friend — single Gamma friend — and I are sitting in a local greasy spoon, eating lunch one Saturday afternoon after cutting up half of a tree that had fallen in my yard. I didn’t even see this girl, but from behind me, quite suddenly, was a woman at least ten years my junior, a little brunette rocker chick pushing 7 — except she got a -1 from me for short hair and eyebrow ring. She looked at me a moment, glanced at my friend, and said “I don’t usually do this, but . . . ” and dropped a matchbook on the table in front of me, gave me a meaningful look, gave my friend one last glance, and wiggled her tight little ass out the front door.

    Myterminally-single friend was staring at me, mouth open. I was pretty shocked myself — I hadn’t gotten seriously hit on in years, not since I stopped wearing my wedding ring (and that was why I stopped wearing my wedding ring). I’d figured I was in well-married-father territory. Of course now, I understand what happened, but at the time I was utterly mystified.

    We went back home to finish the job, and Mrs. I was waiting for me. I was going to wait to bring it up in private, but my friend couldn’t wait — “Guess what happened to Ian at the diner?” he grinned, and gave her the matchbook. He then recounted the entire 10 second incident in gory detail to her, emphasizing the hotness of the chick and how freaky she looked, and damn, dude, you coulda hit that!

    Mrs. I wasn’t too impressed, I thought — but after my friend assured her that I hadn’t done a thing to encourage it, she dismissed him, dragged me inside, and shagged me rotten.

    The moral of the story is that when the gods hand you the perfect opportunity for Preselection, it’s rude to ignore it. If other women want you more, then your wife will want you more…but only if she knows other women want you. If she still thinks everyone thinks of you as “Gary the AFC” then she’s not going to be attracted. Hitting the preselection attraction cue good and hard every now and again isn’t a bad way to get your wife’s attention or amp up her attraction to you.

    Since then, whenever I get hit on or propositioned I tell Mrs. I. She’s responded very positively each and every time. When you have someone shoving a brownie in your mouth constantly, it’s really hard to pay attention to the smell of cookies.

  6. Ian and Athol,

    Yes, tell the wife! Protect yourself, keep the high ground (always useful in battle), don’t waste the cookie offer, just trade them for brownies hot from the oven!! Have your cake and eat it to. ;-) Ok, I’m hungry.
    Thanks for the advice

  7. Slightly different angle …
    I didn’t know it’d been formalized into a MMSL MAP at the time but you could say my MAP started about six months before my marriage fell apart then sped up during the ninish month divorce and kept a steady if not increased pace ever since. Some stats on dark side cookies that have occurred in the meantime:

    Not counting approaches from women I don’t find attractive:

    Casual but clear come-ons from married women: 2
    Married women at a party (HB9) showing me her boobs while husband was one room over:1
    Married woman booty calling me (also HB9): 1

    When these things have happened I recall something heartiste wrote: a single mother (or a married woman if you are a single man) is IMPLICITLY lower value than you. They have to virtually throw themselves at you because who in their right mind would game them?

    Then 9s weren’t hitting on me because I’m a 10, they came on full throttle because their married status lowered their value relative to mine. On the “open market” I seem to get similar “throw themselves at me” attention from 7s, and then only with a bit of game.

    I think there are several messages in that
    1) don’t let it get to your head
    2) DO let it inform you that your value has gone up and adjust your behavior accordingly (I.e.: dispense with all approval seeking behaviors!)
    3) if you aren’t married, channel this to seek the right kinds of bangs (I.e.: married bangs ALWAYS come with strings attached)
    4) as an earlier comment indicated, play the preselection on the ones you ARE interested in while you also play ALOOF with your same interest … the power is unbelievable until you see it play out
    5) for the married gents … I agree at least a bit with an earlier commenter … don’t take crap from your low value wife … doesn’t mean you have to cheat on her, doesn’t mean you lord it over on her, but you know, I was not long and was very unsystematically into a MAP when my ex, I think, in her hampster mind figured out that there was no reversing this and proceeded to self destruct our marriage rather than be in the position of seeing me stronger and walking first … if the character of your spouse is THAT bad, and from the sound of it, it often is, then she’s doing you a favor and opening your world.

    Accept the favor

  8. athol and good readers,
    once i discovered her secret and her plans to rendezvous with her chat-room lover, the guy i called red ripper (it was a jack the ripper chat room) – i had a choice, take off for the tropics, (i contemplated worse!) write about it, or both… and at the age of fifty, i wasn’t quite ready for aarp or the surrender i’d witnessed in my emasculated suburban flannel-wearing eunuch neighbors… hell, maybe i should’ve never married a younger woman… lol!!! thanks, thanks, and thanks again for this site! really…

  9. I will second this, big time. Before I found this blog I had already begun to better myself. I started taking a full contact karate class 5 times a week and have not seen much change appearance wise but quite a bit strength wise. I then found the blog and made slight adjustments in how I interact with women, mostly my wife. Like the reader said, I’m seeing interest from multiple women at work, some of which are VERY HOT. It’s to the point where two of them have started saying things like, “why don’t you come over, so we can knock boots” Or, “If you stay late, I’ll spring for the hotel”. All framed in a joking manner but we all know it’s not really a joke. At the moment, I’m enjoying the dopamine but it isn’t going anywhere with these ladies. Two of them are married! One of them with a juice head husband. I keep thinking to myself, “Where the hell were these girls when I was in high school?” Much like the reader, ive seen little to no response from my wife. Ive started to drop hints to her that Im getting interest. Im getting gifts from them out of the blue. Tee shirts, coffees, baked goods. Ive got three women making cookies for me competing for best cookies. I decided that getting free baked goods was a better outlet than trying to score. I want my wife, not a cheating spouse that will probably not be a good mate. My advice when seeing the temptation…get them to bake you cookies, bring you gifts then bring those things home. Don’t, don’t, don’t get involved with them. Especially when they have juice head husbands.

  10. Sorry, the reader being Eagleclaw.

Speak Your Mind