Dreadcake Game or Baked Goods Seduction

Something from the dark side to induce a little dread…

Anytime: Buy an odd plate at the dollar store or consignment shop.

Sunday: Find and visit a church bake sale, or fair, that has homemade baked goods.

Monday: Place “partially consumed” baked goods on the odd plate, cover with cling-wrap.

Come home from work with plate of baked goods.

Say that the new girl at work gave them to you. Well she offered it to everyone, but she gave the plate to you. She’s a temp or something. Cute.

Act like you have no idea that a woman giving you baked goods is an Indicator of Interest.

Watch your wife’s Rationalization Hamster become fully nourished on the baked goods…

Your Defense: It’s just freaking BANANA BREAD! What’s wrong with you?

For the ladies reading of course, the ability to create and supply a man with random baked goods is a huge Beta skill. A mild plus if you make it from a box, a big plus if you can make it from scratch. Don’t go too sweet. Oh and it’s a New Zealand thing, but sausage rolls are the perfect comfort food.

In Jennifer’s defense, she has not read this post or edited it. She looked exhausted and I shooed her off to bed around 9pm…

…freeing me up to stay up late read the final book in 50 Shades of Grey!!!!

Comments

  1. Oooh, that’s some serious dread game.
    I’ll never forget the dread I felt when my hubs brought home the baked goods from that beyotch at his work that KNEW he was married. Even my 23 yr. old-clueless self knew that it was GAME ON.

    Some of these wives I read about on the forum are so comfortable in their blue-pill sweatsuit, they NEED this kind of wake up call. Do it, gentlemen, if you have to. You might not have to hunt for a bake sale. If your office has a potluck, snag some goodies.

    +1 for sending tired Jenn to bed and not forcing editing.

  2. That’s as bad as a girl sending flowers to herself to make the boyfriend jealous! But I would be super happy to eat the baked goods, so it might be a good idea. Oh, crud! That reminds me- women from my husbands office are always sending him home with treats. Perhaps my husband is already on to this trick? Or maybe they love him? Hamster spinning…

  3. My wife loves cooking and is really good at it (she soes the best bitter chocolate macarons). Once she stopped by at my workplace to drop off a tin of brownies still warm from the oven. The guys at the office were utterly gobsmacked.

  4. Preselection is one of the most amazing evo/psych concepts. I actually didn’t believe it until I read how they tested it. Also it was freaky how it only worked on women since men believe their own eyes over others opinion.

  5. Dark. This probably will not work as well on a smart red-pill wife, who shows up at office events looking good, stops by the office occasionally (also looking good), gets to know some of the women you work with on a friendly basis, etc. Of course, if you have a smart red-pill wife, you probably don’t need to play dark tricks with baked goods – lol.

  6. bitter chocolate macarons

    Let me know if things don’t work out with your wife.

  7. Love it!

  8. Or buy Rhodes frozen cinnamon rolls.
    http://www.walmart.com/ip/Rhodes-W-Cream-Cheese-Frosting-12-Ct-Frozen-Cinnamon-Rolls-36.5-oz/10805119
    I set them out to rise around 11 or 12 the night before, they get HUGE! Bake them in the morning, frost them and everyone’s happy with very minimal work. They run around $5 for a dozen where I’m from.

  9. That’s a truly evil idea, I love it. I just don’t think in these sorts of patterns and I need to learn how to.

    Thanks for the idea!

  10. you bad man :-)

  11. Milf_in_Training says:

    Thanks for the (unintended?) Girl Game tip.

    Bake something for him to take to work. GET THE PLATE BACK!!!

  12. Joe_Commenter says:

    This is wicked genius!

  13. Or you could do something awesome like my husband, (who has a passion for cooking, so that would really only apply to something you really were passionate about), who, when I came home from a horrible day the other day, he had not only found wild salmon steaks at the store for a steal, but he had prepared them amazingly well with a side of rice and a giant steamed artichoke.

    The man *KNOWS* that he’s good at what he does. And lo, and behold, the salmon steak tasted like REAL steak.

    I would *never* eat even half as well without my husband’s mad cooking skillz. I believe that there was also an entry in this blog about the perks of being able to make madly delicious food items- even if it’s just one specialty recipe. You might think that making something is submissive in act, but to some extent, it’s just as ballsy as saying, “Hey you, you’d be on ramen and cheese sandwiches without ME around”- especially if the other person has trouble boiling water (an aside- I can cook but I don’t particularly get the joy and satisfaction my husband gets from doing it, so I generally just do all the dishes and clean the kitchen up afterwards instead).

    For our anniversary, instead of some dumb expensive jewelry (I’m not really into that, personally), he made me a custom menu of custom tailored (to my tastes by him) fancy food recipes that are both delicious and healthy, and set a date where he will be making the entire meal for me, fancy restaurant style.

    That’s basically saying, “I know you, and you would be lost without me. Let me nourish you because you are the one I love.”

    And that is fucking hot.

  14. I’d say ‘that’s nice dear’ and leave it at that. I have absolutely no idea why my husband would want to make me think that some woman at work fancied him, but suppose she did, what could I do about it? Nothing. I hope though that he wouldn’t do anything so crassly infantile.

  15. I remember a buddy of mine when we were in our early 20’s…. we were gaming at his place and he produces a plate of killer rice krispie treats that his girlfriend had made for him.

    We sung her praises the rest of the night.

  16. I’m such a bad Kiwi, I’ve never liked sausage rolls. But then it’s not about me! If my guy likes them, I would make them. Then again, he’s a hipster, so sausage rolls might be too mainstream. But then I could sell it with those iconic red plastic tomatoes that dispense tomato sauce. They might be considered kitsch enough to work! *laugh*

  17. Isn’t any sort of unsolicited ‘gift’ an indication of interest? My husband was given a couple of gifts for our kids from a female co-worker. Children she had never met. I thought it was odd, that out of all the children she’d likely MET and would appreciate the gifts (neighbours/family etc), she chose my husbands kids, whom she didn’t know, to give them to. My intuition told me it was an indirect way to ‘give’ him something to make him think well of her. It put her on my radar and I was right in this instance. I have since come down very hard on that ‘friendship’.

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