Why Crazy Bitches Are So Good In Bed

So why are crazy bitches so hot in bed?

The probably surprising answer to most long term readers, is that crazy bitches don’t have much of a Rationalization Hamster, and that’s why they’re so hot in bed.

Confused? Let me explain…

The bits and pieces powering your sex drive, are all based in your Body Agenda. More particularly it’s based in the Limbic System which you have no conscious control over. Your Body Agenda is essentially always on, and has a fairly minimal moral compass beyond trying to ensure it’s immediate social group survives and thrives. The more thoughtful morality center is based in the more rational thinking part of the brain – the Neo-Cortex. Depending on your upbringing we all have an internal monologue voiced by some combination of Christopher Hitchens and Church Lady. (Shame on you and isn’t that special.)

So in reality, the majority of the time, the Rationalization Hamster is actually thinking up reasons to not follow our baser instincts, and thus be well behaved. So when you find out some guy has been putting the moves on your girl, it’s actually your Rationalization Hamster overriding your Body Agenda and telling you to be cool and not get into a physical dust up. That’s how you get either seriously injured or jailed, be cool dude, be cool. On a biological level though, you just want to fuck him up.

For women, the overwhelming majority of the time, their Rationalization Hamster is absolutely telling them to play it cool. Don’t be slutty, don’t have a high partner count, don’t be a stripper, don’t appear in porn, don’t wear too revealing clothing, don’t drink that, don’t drive too fast, don’t color outside the lines, be on time, be nice, smile at everyone, be home by 10, don’t fart until after you’re married.

What happens for the more naturally Beta women, is that by over-thinking things, and having too strong of a Rationalization Hamster, they can actually inhibit their sex drive and sexual performance. Don’t show outwardly that you have sexual impulses, play it safe, don’t make too much noise, orgasming too well makes you look slutty, don’t have too many moves, nice girls don’t do that, you whore that’s where poop comes out.

Crazy chicks though, simply can’t muster up the mental rigor to act as any sort of inhibition on their sex drive. If the Neo-Cortex is all whack-a-do, or periodically just switches completely off, instead of some sense of control over her sex drive, you get full force Body Agenda at work. Deep down all women love sex, but with crazy bitches there is no “deep down”, it’s all up on the surface, laid bare for all to see. Body Agenda is a fickle friend and it’s moods and interests run hot and cold from moment to moment. This is why crazy bitches are suddenly hot to trot and then absolutely not trotting anywhere but out the door.

Now when mentally normal women end up having sex, or seeking to avoid sex, their Neo-Cortex is engaged and they will come up with reasons to justify their actions. He’s my husband, we’re engaged now, I met his mother so he’s actually serious about me, if I don’t put out now I’m going to lose this really great guy. Thus when a non-crazy woman decides to cheat on her husband who is a great guy and nice to her and the kids, the rationalizations required to undo all her prior thoughts of morality and justify doing something evil, take quite a lot of mental effort. There’s almost a personality de-programming that takes place as she unpicks all the old rationalizations to be a good girl, and replaces them with ones that say cheating on her husband is okay for her in this particular circumstance. Men do the exact same things too. The Body Agenda wants to bang someone inappropriate and leans all over the Neo-Cortex to agree. Eventually the Neo-Cortex finds some BS way of agreeing with the Body Agenda. Along with the dopamine effect from exposure to the lover, this is why people in the middle of affairs have an almost total personality change.

That unpicking of the old morality codes is one of the reasons that previously “mild housewives” turn into “raging cockwhores” during an affair. The “be a good girl” rules are all intertwined with one another, once one breaks, most of them will shatter too. Pretty much any woman that’s had an affair is going to be potentially more open to much wilder sexual activity in the aftermath. It all depends on if she was caught and if so, how the morality restructuring went afterwards. Typically though, once a cheater, always a cheater… unless you can point to a very clear rebuilding of commitment and an acute sense of having done wrong.

If you want the perfect setting for the Rationalization Hamster for a Red Pill woman, it’s pretty easy to figure out. Everything and anything goes sexually inside the relationship, nothing goes outside the relationship. You can get to that setting starting from either the slutty side of the equation, or from the good girl side of the equation. But it’s not an easy or overnight route for either one though. That’s why I’ve done posts encouraging the good girls adding some bitch.

Crazy bitches though can’t ever really reform because they can’t keep a thought together for more than two seconds. They just live in a sort of endless “Running of the Bulls…”

…starring as the bull.


Supporting MMSL

I spend approximately four hours every day answering email and offering free advice.

That free advice has to be free, because the state of Connecticut has made it plain that any kind of 1:1 paid advice I’m giving requires a marriage counseling license. Yeah I could get away with being a “dating coach”, but I don’t really feel very dating coach-like when so obviously I care about marriages.

The other option is to claim everything I say is completely ineffective at helping people and is simply for entertainment, but that’s all a little bit like standing in waders, covered in lures and baiting a hook and claiming I’m not actually there to catch fish, because I have no fishing skill whatsoever and am doing it all for entertainment. Yeah right.

I can still write and speak though. First amendment and all that. Phew. Working on it.

Anyway, the forum is growing faster than my erection when Jennifer bends over, and it’s about to get a bit more expensive. I mean the forum is going to get more expensive… well I guess if you count the kids, Jennifer bending over is pretty expensive too. It’s a sort of no money down scam she runs I think.

Anyway… forum, grow oh so big Mr Kay, needs to be self-supporting…

So I now have a sort of Mega Affiliate program thing happening through Viglink and I have a static “Support” page set up here and in the menu under the header. Clicking on any of the links below gets me a slice of the pie when you buy something. So if you can that would be helpful.  There’s more I can add, if you have someone you regularly buy from not on the list below, message me and see if I can add it.



Mass Merchant –  Amazon.com    Amazon.co.uk    Sears    Macys.com    JCPenny.com    Target.com    HSN.com    Overstock.com    Kohls.com    Buy.com    Hayneedle.com    Cafepress.com    BJs.com

Clothes – VictoriasSecret.com     LLBean.com     Gap.com     Nordstrom.com     SaksFifthAvenue.com     FootLocker.com     RalphLauren.com    Nike     Shoebuy.com    EddieBauer.com     ColdwaterCreek.com     Aeropostale.com

Computers / Electronics – Dell.com    BestBuy.com    Newegg Sony.com    HP.com    PCConnection.com    PCMall.com    RadioShack.com    Bose.com

Adult – AdamEve.com    Edenfantasys.com

Home Improvement – HomeDepot.com     Build.com     Lowes.com

House Wares –  CrateandBarrel.com     Art.com     Cooking.com    Brookstone.com

Travel – Priceline.com   Expedia.com   Travelocity.com   Orbitz.com   Tripadvisor.com   Hotwire.com    Hotels.com    Cheaptickets.com

Food / Drug – Peapod.com    Walgreen.com    Wine.com    OmahaSteaks.com    CoffeeForLess.com

Office Supplies – Staples.com    OfficeDepot.com    OfficeMax.com

Getting Boys To Clean Their Room

Asked on the forum… “How do you get boys to clean up after themselves, or clean their room?”

Well the old behavioral standard is that you “can’t beat food or sex” for motivation. So obviously mom will use food for motivating the kids… I’ll cover using sex as a motivator on the husband some other time lol. Then we’ll see if the guys can handle the real Red Pill stuff I can teach the ladies lol.

So anyway…

Boys like food.

Room tidy routine, with clearly defining “what is clean” (nothing on the floor, bed made, clothes in hamper, whatever you decide)

Clean room = Mom’s special cupcakes / banana bread / muffins / doughnuts / whatever

Not clean room = watch your brothers eat mom’s special cupcakes / whatever


Slice off a “big piece for daddy” and throw the remainder of the baked goods into the trash.  This makes it a time sensitive offer. They can’t be brats and then ride it out and get cake later on in the day or tomorrow. If they missed out, they covet their dads piece, consider the possibility of theft, yet fear the results. If they fail the first day out, repeat it daily until they “win”.


2pm “Cleaning frenzy announced” Oven on. And get baking.

3pm Room check and reward.

330pm  Slice for daddy… throw remainder in the trash. Ignore howling if they fail. Just let their tears nourish your spirit.

Do random cleaning frenzies. It makes it more effective.

My bet is after a few times, you’ll be asked “Mommy, can we play the room cleaning game today?”

Jennifer: I vote for giving the leftovers that non-cleaning kids are not getting to the neighbor/work/etc instead of the trash can lol…

To Baldly Go

Asked in the First Officer section of the forum…

WideAwake:  So, I have the typical “male pattern baldness” and for the past several years have just kept my hair trimmed very short (like a #1 clipper).

I’ve been toying with shaving my head completely – but that is a big step (even though it would grow back in about a week or two).  I’m 6-2, 230 (still losing weight, will get to 200), muscular but not ripped (working on this too) and have a decent looking head and tan.  I’m 44.   Ladies – do you prefer a very short haircut with brown and grey hair or should I just go for it and shave it?

My wife has hinted at me shaving it…   Your thoughts?

Athol:    “My wife has hinted at me shaving it… “

Sorry, just couldn’t resist!

And yeah, shaving it off is just fine.

Jennifer:  I miss the weekly ritual of shaving Athol’s head, but I can’t stop touching his head now he’s shaved. 

The Friendzone

Dreadcake Game or Baked Goods Seduction

Something from the dark side to induce a little dread…

Anytime: Buy an odd plate at the dollar store or consignment shop.

Sunday: Find and visit a church bake sale, or fair, that has homemade baked goods.

Monday: Place “partially consumed” baked goods on the odd plate, cover with cling-wrap.

Come home from work with plate of baked goods.

Say that the new girl at work gave them to you. Well she offered it to everyone, but she gave the plate to you. She’s a temp or something. Cute.

Act like you have no idea that a woman giving you baked goods is an Indicator of Interest.

Watch your wife’s Rationalization Hamster become fully nourished on the baked goods…

Your Defense: It’s just freaking BANANA BREAD! What’s wrong with you?

For the ladies reading of course, the ability to create and supply a man with random baked goods is a huge Beta skill. A mild plus if you make it from a box, a big plus if you can make it from scratch. Don’t go too sweet. Oh and it’s a New Zealand thing, but sausage rolls are the perfect comfort food.

In Jennifer’s defense, she has not read this post or edited it. She looked exhausted and I shooed her off to bed around 9pm…

…freeing me up to stay up late read the final book in 50 Shades of Grey!!!!

Red Pill Do Us Start

AnonJohn:   What would Red Pill Marriages Vows look/sound like?

I promise to have and to hold you, unless you get too big to hold?

In sickness and health, maybe, but definitely only in richer and not for poorer?

You’re my one and only unless you don’t give it up?

Does anyone have any real suggestions?

Athol:  Well being completely Red Pill about this, the vows are meaningless because the actual legal agreement you’re making is whatever the marriage law is in your state. From ye olde achives…  Dershowitz and Feinstein and the Legally Binding Threesome.

Jodi always kind of rolls her eyes a little at that. She just says that Connecticut is a No Fault divorce State, and basically anytime either one of us wants out she’ll be happy to tear up the marriage license and start deciding how to divide up half of everything. But we tell her “we made vows though”, she just sips her tea and says it’s all a verbal agreement and inadmissible in a court of law.

“In fact” she says, “you could have said nothing in that little church, or you could have said vows in Latin, Elvis could have been your best man, Joan of Arc the Maid of Honor and Moses could have done the service and it all wouldn’t matter any different.”   She paused for effect… “you could have just sung Puff the Magic Dragon to each other for all I care. The marriage license is your consent to the marriage agreement as defined by Connecticut Marriage Law. That’s what your marriage agreement is.”

We look across at Dershowtiz and Feinstein. They look bored.

All that being said, it does kind of make having a get together to celebrate getting married a little awkward if you don’t hold hands and say something all sappy about getting married. Well maybe not sappy, but at least meaningful… marriage is a big committment after all.

So here’s a crack at something to say on your special day…

Do you both agree to have an exclusive, vibrant and engaged sexual relationship together?  (We do)

Do you both agree to meet the other’s need for sexual consensuality and safety?  (We do)

As each other’s only sexual partner, do you both agree to explore and experiment, seeking to discover and meet each others needs for variety and pleasure?  (We do)

Do you both agree to love, support and nurture any children you have together?  (We do)

Do you both agree to forgo the right to privacy from each other and allow each other full access to each others personal communications and whereabouts at any and all times?  (We do)

Do you both agree to join your finances together, have full access to each others financial information and file your taxes together as a couple?  (We do)

Do you both agree to allow to each other full access to medical information and act on any health concerns?  (We do)

Do you both agree to commit yourself to maintaining good personal health, fitness and appearance?  (We do)

Do you both agree to maintain a home, engage in productive work and be a positive force in each other’s lives?  (We do)

Do you both agree to give each other a fair and documented warning of any potential relationship breaking problems? (We do)

Do you [Name] agree to act as the First Officer of the relationship, seeking to support, advise, respect and accept all else that entails? (I do)

Do you [Name] agree to act as the Captain of the relationship, seeking to lead, listen, appreciate and accept all else that entails?  (I do)

Do you both love each other?  (We do)

Anyway, that’s what I came up with this fine evening.

As off the cuff as this is, the future is going to be very interesting as this sort of thing becomes less and less of a playful concern, and the possibility of private contracts comes more and more into play. The more I wrote the more I wanted to write. It was a minor challenge to not start writing it out as a legal contract lol. I can certainly see that in the future, Marriage 3.0 might be far more of a “check the boxes for what you want to agree to” sort of deal. The legalities signed up for online via the Google Marriage app of something. Short term contracts might be a possibility too.

What I do know is this, though – men and women are still going to want to be in relationships with each other. The question is how that is managed as a society.

Do Not Take Me For Some Conjurer of Cheap Tricks

Some friendly disagreement about my post Why The “No Divorce” Belief Can Ruin Your Marriage from Vox and Simon. So let me just double up on my assertions.

Women are more attracted to men who can dump them and replace them at will, than men that cannot. Being able to dump her and move on to a new woman easily is heavy duty Alpha street cred and women are attracted to that. Totally removing divorce from the choice of options is a nerfing of the husbands Alpha. It’s a built in structural weakness to the regular Christian husbands ability to game his wife. It’s like you’re competing against guys running the 100m Dash while you run the 110m Hurdles.

Naturally of course a husband needs to bring Beta to the mix to reassure her that she’s not going to be dumped for no good reason, and to create overall relationship comfort. Plus to be quite blunt, I’m absolutely not in favor of frivolous divorce. Divorce is always, always, always the last resort… but sometimes you just gotta draw some total BS to a close and move on with your life.

The truth of the matter is that Christian women work just like every other woman. They get more attracted to a man who openly admits he would divorce them for slacking off for no reason, and lose attraction to a man who says that he would never divorce them for any reason. Every time you warble your unconditional love song, she eats another slice of cake. A confident man that can demand a woman be her best for him is hot. Couple that with him not demanding what she can’t reasonably do, and paying her affectionate attention, and you’ve got the sweet spot of married game.

The honest truth is that 99% of all Christian men come to me at their wits end, after everything else has failed for them and I am truly their last resort. I mean if you’re a Christian, coming to an Atheist for marriage advice must feel like asking Jamaicans for snow removal tips. So let me put it this way, having run MMSL for 2.5 years now, I’ve seen a cycle of interaction so often it’s now a cliche to me.

First the Christian husband finally reaches a breaking point with the combination of his belief and state of his marriage, and in an icy rage put divorce squarely back on the table. At that point I’m usually trying to slow their rush to divorce down… the first few days it’s usually a big victim puke session and I let them vent… and then they really start looking at Phase Three to Seven as being allowable and begin working toward it in earnest. (Which could take months or years depending on where they are at)

Then far more often than not… guess what happens…

“Magically” the wife turns herself around and starts paying him more respect, more attention, more deference and more sexy time. And that’s more sexy time after a very long time for a lot of these guys. The husband finally acting like he could potentially dump her and replace her, re-attracts her. Marriage saved, sex life restarted, kids growing up in an intact family, divorce lawyers eating Ramen noodles and missing car payments.

The truth of the matter is that MMSL has Christian women as my highest book buying demographic. I’m not kidding about that. They buy it for themselves, they buy it for their husbands, and their sons and brothers. They are turned on by the idea of being First Officers and being held to standards of behavior in exchange for compassionate leadership from their man. Let me repeat that… they are turned on by that.

Look I know if you’re a Christian reading this, it’s all utterly appalling to read and it just seems so totally wrong. Just believe me when I say I’ve seen it work over and over and over again. Where that fits or doesn’t fit into your theology or morals is up to you. As I keep saying, I don’t care what you believe, I’m not trying to make people Atheists, I’m just here to save marriages and help people. I only care about your religion as much as it gets in the way of me getting you back to a happy marriage, sex life, or whatever it is you want to happen.

I’m not trying to rob you. I’m trying to help you.

The Silver Lining Isn’t Gold-Pressed Latinum

If you haven’t visited the forum you should. If you think you can just coast in your marriage or cheat and get away with it, this thread will set you straight.  Lots of reality impacting and several people sharing both sides of being proximal to the really bad stuff. Some of my stuff is in there too, and I’m emotionally raw enough for today I can’t bring myself to cut and paste it all and re-write it to a coherent post. If you wanna know, go read the forum.

That being said, MMSL is a good side effect of me having been a bad person. I’ve spent a lot of time today wondering about the roads not taken, and how life would be different now. If I could rewind the clock and choose again, where would I be now? How many marriages need to be saved by MMSL, to justify having gotten myself mired in an EA that propelled me into making MMSL? If I turned back the clock, what would I choose to do?

It takes a little while to get there, but watch anyway…

So anyway, in the show Picard side steps the incident with the Nausicaan. But as time skips ahead showing him in his career as a Junior Grade Lieutenant… four ranks below Captain.

So in the end, that foolish mistake turns out to be the making of Picard.

So anyway, part of me is completely down with the logic that alls well that ends well and everything is doubleplusgood for my side trip mapping the dark side. It would be logical to not mess with the timeline. So very very logical…

Jennifer:  You are so hard on yourself…we both made mistakes, and we both learned from them.  In a strange way we wouldn’t be where we are now if we had not gone through both the good and bad times.  We win as a team, we lose as a team.  And it’s hard to read comments from people who alternately slam you for having too perfect of a marriage (therefore how can you give advice to those who don’t have fabulous marriages?) and slam you for making mistakes in your marriage and not having a perfect marriage. Oy. You can’t have it both ways, people. (Am I allowed to rant at your readers? I’m usually so mild-mannered…)

Why The “No Divorce” Belief Can Ruin Your Marriage

Okey-dokey, I gotta talk about this post on The Bible and Divorce over at Alpha Game.

And as my standard disclaimer when I talk about religious thought – I’m an ex-Christian and now an atheist so be advised. I don’t care about any particular belief about God / Jesus / The Flying Spaghetti Monster / The Star Goat of Thollian IV, my only interest in religion is how it affects your marriage for better or for worse. I’m not debating belief, just pointing out what I see. It’s up to you guys to figure out how well my thought meshes with your religion.

Anyway, here’s the original reader question…

My marriage is in bad shape. I have dug pretty thoroughly and do not believe there has been any actual sexual activity by my wife with anyone else. However, I have discovered other things that cause me to seriously doubt whether this marriage can ever rise to the level of mediocre. I now see her with eyes of contempt mixed with love (still). It’s a weird/unpleasant combination.

I would greatly appreciate your views on what are biblically solid grounds for divorce. I have come to the edge where I am about to prefer divorce over trying to rebuild/game up/man up/whatever. However, my preference does not matter if it violates God’s commands. I would rather suffer in obedience to God than seek pleasure in rebellion.

Minus the question of my view on biblical grounds for divorce, I hear this exact same question from a reader about twice a month. “I’ve tried everything, but I can’t divorce because I’m a Christian. What do I do?” So this isn’t an academic question to me, it’s a real world issue and I do my best to help out. Unfortunately the “no divorce” rule makes Christian men very resistant with doing what they need to do to fix their marriage. They always worry it’s going to crash and burn into a sinful divorce. So they play it far too safe and end up bringing a banana to the knife fight.

Here’s the key problem that Christians miss with their “no divorce” platform. Once you remove the possibility of divorce from the equation, there is no longer an effective consequence for what would otherwise be a genuine relationship breaking problem. Which means relationship breaking problems can never effectively be addressed and end up simply being tolerated. Oh sure you can beg and plead and pray and take her to the elders and they can frown at her yada yada yada, but that’s all just talk and making threatening gestures with the banana. Like she cares about that. Thus the “no divorce” platform can actually be a significant causal factor in a really shitty Christian marriage.

Let me explain…

Jennifer and I love each other a great deal and there’s not a whole lot we wouldn’t do for each other. But we both have a great deal of expectations about the other, that we know are simply deal breakers if broken/not met. For example, if I ever hit Jennifer in anger, I’m pretty damn sure that it’s over between us. No counseling, no thinking about it, I’m just a bit too big compared to her for her to ever relax around me again. It would be over. Jennifer can hit me once. I don’t know why that is, I think because if she ever hit me I would have earned it by not listening for way too long and generally being an asshat. But hit me twice and it’s over. Thus we have a standard of behavior and a serious consequence for breaking it. No hitting. End of discussion.

We also have an agreement that we’ll both work. Sure Jennifer and I slack off once in a while and do nothing, but that’s a rest after a long period of working. If that rest turned into a consistent pattern of one of us just slacking off and doing nothing much, that’s not going to be tolerated. We don’t have to be making a ton of money, we just can’t be permanently lazy. If lazy goes on for long enough, the other would start getting unpleasant about it. Ultimately if the other person downed tools and refused to pick them up, I don’t see that lasting much more than a couple months before divorce would be coming to the surface as a considered option. Thus we have a standard of behavior and a serious consequence for breaking it. We’ll both work and hold up our end of the marriage. End of discussion.

We also have an agreement that we’ll both stay basically attractive to each other and have a strong sex life. Jennifer knows that if she just lets herself go and/or stops being a fun sexual partner for me, I’m gonna head for the door. I also know that if I become a crappy sex partner for her, she’s not going to be able to be responsive to me the way I want her to be. I’m not going to reasonably expect her to be into me if I’ve let myself go, or if I’m cruel to her. So I treat her very well. Our marriage is a sexual relationship, that’s why we’re married. Thus we have a standard of behavior and a serious consequence for breaking it. Sexy Time is very important. End of discussion.

So our standards and willingness to enforce genuine relationship breaking issues with the ultimate consequence, means that we never actually develop those relationship breaking issues. Our willingness to divorce, averts divorce.

But, if Jennifer figured out that I would never, ever, under any circumstances divorce her because of my religious beliefs, that would allow her a lot more leeway on those standards of behavior. Maybe she could scream and yell in the kitchen about something. Maybe she could bounce a cup off my head on alternate Tuesdays. Maybe she could come home one day and tell me she just quit her job because it was all so tiring and made her unhappy. Maybe she could put on 100 pounds. Maybe she could cut me back to once a month sex. Maybe she could take all the money and go shopping for cute outfits for her little purse dog. Or maybe she could buy $1500 of Mary Kay cosmetics to “start her business” and only sell $40 worth to her mother.

Or based on the emails I get… she could do all of that at once.

Because I would never be allowed to divorce, can you see how I’m screwed? I can’t really do anything to stop myself from being trapped in this horrible marriage. I mean what I am going to do? Ground her? Be mad? Sure I can make myself look sexier and all hot, but that’s no threat if I can’t leave her and hook up with someone else. I’d have to just stick it out and love her unconditionally.

Do. Not. Want.

See how blindly being on the “no divorce” platform can ruin your marriage?

So let me come around at this from a different angle to hopefully help my Christian friends understand this better. The original guy’s key statement is this…

“I would rather suffer in obedience to God than seek pleasure in rebellion.”

Dude you have it backwards. As the Captain of the household, you are responsible for the safety, well being, happiness, and overall functionality of your household. Complaining that your wife is crappy isn’t very Captainy. My hunch is that your actual problem is that you’ve been asleep at the switch for the longest time, too frightened to actually stand up for yourself. You’ve been without effective demands for some basic standards of behavior and she’s just run riot on you. Your whole marriage is like trample porn without the nudity.* Whether you want to admit it or not, she’s always looked to you to act like the Captain. It’s not 100% her fault that you’re in this pickle. Some of it is her fault, but some of it is yours… and because the Captain is always more responsible than the First Officer, it’s more your fault than hers. The Captain is last off the ship and doesn’t ask for a legal loophole to allow him to be first to the lifeboats. That’s what being the Captain means.

Or put in Christanese… you’ve been disobedient to God the whole time you haven’t been taking responsibility for your marriage. You’re in rebellion now.

And yeah I know what Jesus said, but he wasn’t giving advice in a Marriage 2.0 world was he. Maybe he would have said something different if the wives could call the Roman soldiers in to arrest their husbands for not appreciating the meatloaf appropriately. As it was, a divorced woman in Jesus’s time was pretty much going to have to learn to turn tricks, which literally sucks… so I’m with JC on that one.

So my advice is pretty simple, put things right. Both in you and in her. Set some standards for behavior for each other. Allow time for everything to work itself out and change direction, there are no instant fixes with marriages, but you can greatly improve things. If you put in the proper effort with the right attitude, you have a reasonable chance of making things better. If you do all the right things and she proves herself to be utterly defiant and unwilling to hold up her end of the marriage agreement, that’s her choice to make and you may as well accept it. If so, then just let her go and be Gods plan for feral cat colony management.

Jennifer: The whole no divorce thing is important because you can’t over react to every little thing and reach for the divorce button. I don’t worry Athol would ever leave me for something silly, but there’s plenty that can go wrong in a marriage that isn’t cheating. We respect each other.

* No offense intended to believers of The Star Goat of Thollian IV